Nightmares/flashbacks

[Dolphin]

A part of me knows that what I feel happening isn't really happening again; it's not always clear to me though, depending on what triggered which flashback, and which part of my trauma I relive during nightmares. I would hardly call those nightmares, really, because they are exactly like it was during the actual event. I wake up up in a panic, and it takes me quite sometime to get oriented and grounded in the present again. My days starts back there, and when I am through half the day, I have "visited" there many times again. I truly wish I knew all my triggers, it seems to help me for those that I do know. Somehow I need to get control over these flashbacks and nightmares, but I don't know how to do that. It's really exhausting to not be able to get rest, even though I do get enough hours of sleep, with the help of meds. I have tried to imagine a different outcome, but so far that hasn't worked for me. I don't know how to change this, do any of you have ideas??

Dolphin

 

[NightOwl]

Hold on in there Dolphin. Nightmares and flashbacks can be awful to live with and I can relate to this post very much. I'm here for you if ever you need me. We can work through this one together. :hug:

NightOwl

 

[Dolphin]

Thanks for your reply NightOwl.

My nightmares are always quite vivid, and even though I do get enough hours of sleep a day now, I never wake up refreshed/rested. It's been getting worse recently due to the oncoming anniversary of my trauma, and I would really like to have some tips on how to get through the flashbacks/nightmares easier so my day isn't as tough as it has been. I also struggle with finding things to do on the actual date, so maybe this year that's different than it has been? I don't know...

Dolphin

 

[ladylore]

Look through the Stickys under the anxiety and ptsd section of the forum. There are many great exercises that could help you out.

 

[NightOwl]

Hi Dolphin,

Trying to get quality sleep can be very difficult; I can understand where you are coming from with that one. Things I do that have helped me feel at least more secure and peaceful as I try to drift off into sleep, is making sure that I have a small bedside light on (it's such a low light that it is not intrusive); before I feel sleepy, I look around the room and tell myself I'm safe.

I keep a lot of things in my bedside drawer, e.g. letters from loved ones, small gifts that mean a lot to me, some nice perfumed paper, my grounding stones, a current book that I'm reading or something to read etc; after a nightmare I'll sit there firstly telling myself that it was a nightmare and that I'm safe now and then I'll the things out of my drawer and sit with them, they bring me comfort and a feeling of security.

I keep a thermos with hot chocolate beside my bed and so I know I've got something I can sip on that is comforting while I ground and come back to my safe World. I then don't have to move for a while.

I've tried the technique of clenching my hands together and then relaxing. I also use a repetitive phrase saying to myself "I'm here, I'm safe, and I'm happy". This may sound strange but it works for me.

I also keep telephone numbers of people that I can reach in case of an emergency, e.g Rape Crisis, Samaritans. I don't often use these numbers but I know they are there if I need them. Also I've got the number of the Police, thankfully I haven't had to use this one, but just knowing it's there gives me reassurances - they've told me that they will be straight out if he ever comes near me.

Finding things that reassure you of your safety and things to comfort you as you are helping yourself ground.

Have you got something that you like that you can can treat yourself to on your anniversary? Perhaps a nice bath in lavender oil, a favourite book, perhaps a lovely peaceful walk to somewhere you love where you feel relaxed, maybe a nice computer game.

I'm sending you care, strength, and healing thoughts for your anniversary.

NightOwl :hug:

 

[Halo]

Great post Nightowl I really liked all the grounding techniques that you have at night time to help you feel safe.

 

[NightOwl]

Thanks Halo,

They are just some techniques I've learned by trial and error. Also I've been looking into Image Rehearsal Therapy (IRT), I've only tentatively looked into this and tried practicing some of it with some success; I've got a long way to go with this one but have great hopes that it will help.

NightOwl

 

[Into The Light]

i don't have ptsd so i don't know if this is of any use or not or if it would work.

i was wondering if it is at all possible for you to do something on your anniversary that is very different, something very positive to counter the negativity of the date. maybe something like planting a tree for yourself, or spend the day with a special friend or person who means a lot to you and do something happy. or do something for yourself that you have always wanted to do? i'm just throwing out ideas here. if you are at all able to do something like this, i think it might give you a sense of control back, that by creating something meaningful you are taking back control of this day.

just a thought, it just came to mind when i read your post.

 

[Dolphin]

Wow......

IntoTheLight, I think that's a wonderful idea to replace the negative with a positive experience on the anniversary day. I will surely try this, because it does sound like a good option to me. Thank you!

NightOwl, that's quite a list you have there, and so full of good tips that might work for me. I do have a teddybear with me at night, just because it's so soft and very different to the touch as the nightmares are. It helps me somewhat, but it takes me some time to realize I am holding it. I also have a light on at night, and have many pictures of dolphins on the walls in my bedroom, because they have a calming effect on me. I never thought about having hot chocolate there, and it's something I will try, it's soothing to me. My bedroom has nothing in it, except things that calm me, or like the light, I need.

I try not to be active for the last hour of the day, making sure I am as calm as I can be before going to bed. I fear the nights a lot, which makes it a tough job and a daily fight. I am however not giving up, and with the help of meds I at least get sleep now, even though it's not resting, really... It is still better than my crash and burn days, where I would be up for days on end, to crash and get caught in nightmares even worse. Not sleeping makes me depressed, which at this moment I am not. It's a fragile kind of balance I'm at right now, but it's getting worse with the anniversary coming closer. I'll just do the best I can, and try new things, so everyone, thanks, there are tips here I can definitely use.

Dolphin