No end in sight?

[emt]

hey all.. first post and i'm just looking for help without having to go see someone to "talk to" which doesn't help.. or to get medded up for social anxiety or depression or any of the other "underlying issues" they may feed me because i have self injury issues.

I'm 22, married, and currently work as an EMT-b. i've been cutting since i was 15

<admin edit: please do not post details of methods or results of cutting: see forum rules at http://www.psychlinks.ca/phpbb/rules.php>

i think the progression came from having to deal with more stress than in earlier stages (financial, work, wife, future, basically.. adulthood =P)

<admin edit>

my wife knows i cut, and she is understanding of the situation, but me and her are both coming to our wits end... she thinks that she can't come at me with issues she feels we need to discuss because i will fade back into the SI, and that upsets me..

sometimes i have to force myself to have "busy hands" just so that i wont think about doing it... and sometimes, oddly, it feels like its not for a stress release or emotional control, but habitual. i honestly don't know where to go from here... and any assistance would be greatly appreciated.

thank you,
brandon

 

[David Baxter PhD]

no end in sight?...

i'm just looking for help without having to go see someone to "talk to" which doesn't help.. or to get medded up for social anxiety or depression or any of the other "underlying issues" they may feed me because i have self injury issues

A comment, chloroform: You are eliminating a lot of the things that copuld help you with that statement, whcih doesn't leave much for the forum members to work with -- you are basically saying, "I don't want counseling or psychotherapy, I don't want any medications, and I don't want to have to think about or deal with underlying issues that may be related to my self-injury".

You may well get some help here with understanding some of the oprigins and paramters related to SI but if you've already ruled out the above any progress you can make will likely be rather limited in effectiveness or durability. The reality is that SI is a symptom: If you want to get to the point where that symptom is controlled, managed, or eliminated, you are going to have to look eventually at what purpose it is serving currently (i.e., what underlying issues are driving it).

 

[emt]

no end in sight?...

well, i've honestly never been one to talk in general, so i dont see how speaking on issues would resolve them....and i honestly do not like the idea of medications, i don't want to rely on a pill for the rest of my life.

.. wife, friends and family seem to see SI as the issue, not a symptom, so that is an idea that i have engrained in my head as well... i feel bad about cutting... i don't want people to know about it.. so in turn i seem to think that the cutting itself is the actual issue.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

no end in sight?...

I understand. But the fact is that the behavior exists for a reason. You may be able to use willpower for a time to prevent further SI but I think you'll find that eventually whatever it is that is building up inside you will reach a threshold and you'll find your willpower insufficient to prevent another episode.

Psychotherapy is not about just "speaking on issues [to] resolve them" -- it's about getting the help of an objective and skilled therapist to help you identify the reasons for your SI behavior AND to find alternate strategies for dealing with those issues that do not involve SI.

Medication may not always be necessary, depending on what is driving the SI behavior, but in many cases it can be a useful adjunct to psychotherapy (e.g., by helping to reduce depression or anxiety while you are learning better methods to cope with your feelings).

 

[emt]

no end in sight?...

well.. that and the social stigmas that i've picked up due to friends and my own unfounded opinions at times.. like i feel as if it would do no good to talk to someone or to try and resolve these issues under any circumstances. and as for the first post, i'd like to apologize for not reading the formalities and you having to edit my post because of the fact.

what it boils down to is that type and frequency have increased dramatically in the last month... and the wife is actually getting a bit bothered by it. i don't know why, but it seems normal to me.

 

[ThatLady]

no end in sight?...

Well, it sounds to me as though you need to examine your priorities a bit. If your marriage is really important to you, it would seem to me that you could put aside your aversion to therapy and medications before your marriage becomes a thing of the past. Your wife is letting you know that she is coming to the point where she can't deal with your cutting anymore. What's more important to you? That's the question you need to be asking yourself, as I see it.