No therapy next week

[Cat Dancer]

because of the U.S. holiday fourth of July. So I just wrote my therapist a three page letter. I wonder if that's too long. I'm going to mail it in a few minutes. I talked about a lot of stuff that I have been ashamed to talk about so I'm a little nervous about it. He's really going to think I'm crazy if he doesn't already.
--- Automerged ---
Well, I mailed it. Now he'll probably drop me as a client. Agh.

 

[Gene53]

So I just wrote my therapist a three page letter. I wonder if that's too long.

I think you did the right thing, "letting it all out".

I talked about a lot of stuff that I have been ashamed to talk about so I'm a little nervous about it. He's really going to think I'm crazy if he doesn't already.

I have that same exact problem, can't seem to fully express myself out of fear of ridicule, shame, etc.. Maybe I should do the same you did, write it down, email it to him and watch for some kind of reaction on our next session... You may be on to something, thanks!

Gene

 

[Banned]

Janet,
I'm glad you mailed that letter. I think your therapist will appreciate your honesty and candidness in sharing what has been very difficult and painful for you. I don't think you need to worry about him dropping you as a client. I think what you've shared with him is going to help him help you. I know I've been afraid to tell my therapist alot of things out of fear she will drop me (especially after my last therapist kept threatening to do so)...but when I do open up and tell her something, there's no judgment, no admonishment, just admiration for saying something that was so difficult, even if it was in a written form.

Good job on sending it. It took alot of courage for you.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Thanks you two for the encouragement. I am now terrified. LOL. Seriously scared.

He has never once indicated he would drop me for any reason. So if he does I would be very surprised and, of course, very hurt.

I just really want help. I even said that in the letter. I need help. I hope what I wrote can help him to help me. If that makes any sense.

BG, that is awful about your last therapist threatening to drop you. How scary that must have felt.

 

[Gene53]

Thanks you two for the encouragement. I am now terrified. LOL. Seriously scared.

He has never once indicated he would drop me for any reason. So if he does I would be very surprised and, of course, very hurt.

I just really want help. I even said that in the letter. I need help. I hope what I wrote can help him to help me. If that makes any sense.

BG, that is awful about your last therapist threatening to drop you. How scary that must have felt.

Janet, as far as I'm concerned, you shouldn't have anything to worry about and do agree with BG.

Kudos, that was one giant leap!

BG: "(especially after my last therapist kept threatening to do so)"

That was unacceptable and unethical, what kind of twisted mind game was he/she playing? Pffft...

Gene

 

[Banned]

Hi Janet and Gene,

Without making this thread about me, yes, having my therapist threaten to ditch me on several occasions was very difficult. After the first time, I wondered if he was just having an off day but after a couple more it became apparent that he wasn't. I knew I could never open up as fully as I needed to to benefit from therapy, so I moved on, although I see him from time to time - a couple times a year - as there are areas of my life that he provides excellent advice in. My new therapist (it's been just over two years now) is fantastic.

 

[Halo]

Janet, I think that writing that letter and mailing it was a huge step forward....good job :2thumb:

As for 3 pages being too much, try not to worry about it. The last letter that I wrote to my therapist was more like a novel at 6 pages and he didn't seem to mind. I think that he was actually glad that I was able to put so many of my thoughts and feelings onto paper.

I honestly don't believe that your therapist would ever drop you as a client because you reached out to him, opened up and became vulnerable. If anything he will probably be glad and proud that you were able to open up with such difficult things. He will probably see this as a sign of trust.

Gene, if you too have difficulty expressing yourself verbally to your therapist you may try writing a letter/email as Janet has done. Actually many of us on here have probably done it and have found it helpful. I know that I express myself much easier in writing than I do verbally and it really helps when I share my writings with my therapist because it lets him know what is truly going on with me that I may not be able to verbalize to him.

Again, good job Janet...keep it up :goodjob:

 

[Gene53]

Gene, if you too have difficulty expressing yourself verbally to your therapist you may try writing a letter/email as Janet has done. Actually many of us on here have probably done it and have found it helpful. I know that I express myself much easier in writing than I do verbally and it really helps when I share my writings with my therapist because it lets him know what is truly going on with me that I may not be able to verbalize to him.

Sounds like a plan, there are a lot of things I don't share and this looks like a great solution to let the "cat out of the bag".

Cheers,
Gene

 

[sister-ray]

I think you did the right thing too:hug:

 

[ladylore]

I agree with everyone Janet. I know for myself that sometimes writing it all down and giving it to my therapist is the only way I can commicate fully. Especially with harder, triggering topics. Way to go.

 

[boi]

Hey Janet,

That's really brave of you!!! and a good idea. I myself have trouble telling my therapist stuff, possibly I am afraid I would be judged, maybe I should write a letter too...

 

[Cat Dancer]

Thanks everybody. I might have to write another letter as I am just now realizing that I don't have therapy until the 11th. By the way, I called him (left a message) and warned him about the letter. LOL. Hopefully he won't end therapy with me. :crazy:

 

[Cat Dancer]

Oh my gosh, Y'ALL, he never got the letter. That letter is out there somewhere. He never got it! Argh. I was kind of glad, but now I'm worried about where that letter is. It never came back to me. Where the heck is it?

 

[Gene53]

Oh my gosh, Y'ALL, he never got the letter. That letter is out there somewhere. He never got it! Argh. I was kind of glad, but now I'm worried about where that letter is. It never came back to me. Where the heck is it?

That's unfortunate. Could you either write him an email or perhaps re-write the letter and drop it off a few days before your therapy session?

Cheers,
Gene

 

[Cat Dancer]

He asked me if I wanted to talk about what was in the letter or rewrite it. I told him I guess I'll try to rewrite it. I don't know if I'll get as "raw" as it was in the first place, but I'll try to hit the main points. :crazy: It was a pretty bad letter. Or open letter. I don't know exactly how to put it.

 

[Halo]

That is unfortunate that he didn't receive the first letter. I think that it is great that you are going to try and re-write it. Although you may not get as open or as raw as the first one, I think that if you get to the main points the rawness will start to come out.

Good luck :goodluck:

 

[Cat Dancer]

Do you all think it's weird that I'm worried that letter is out there somewhere? It makes me nervous. Hopefully it's just lost in the postal system and someone isn't going to use it somehow against me. Just my luck if you believe in luck.

By the way, thanks for wishing me good luck. I need it. LOL.

 

[Halo]

I don't think that it is weird that you are worried but I also don't think that it is something to become so worried to the point of obsessing and getting sick about. It more than likely got lost in the mail and will probably be returned to you in a week or two. I know that has happened to me. For reasons unknown, letters don't get mailed and will end up back in my mailbox a few weeks to a month after I mail it.

Strange but true :hmm:

 

[Cat Dancer]

Oh, I hope it comes back to me and doesn't go to him. :crazy:

It is weird.

Trying to reconstruct it, but I can't remember exactly what I wrote. It was an emotional letter and I'm not feeling emotional right now. Maybe that makes a difference?

I don't know if I can do it, expose more of the ugliness in my life. Again.

He did talk today about something called "unconditional positive regard." I guess it's about not judging the client or something like that.

 

[Halo]

If you are having a hard time re-creating the letter and not feeling in that emotional place right now maybe try putting the letter away and coming back to it when you are feeling in a place that is similar to what you were feeling when you originally wrote the letter.

I know sometimes for myself that I am just not in the right frame of mind to be writing and have difficulty so I put it away and come back to it when I can.