Not enough of a reason for feeling the way I do

[gooblax]

At my last season my therapist raised the point that my emotional response to something is stronger than it should normally be, and that maybe there's something I'm not telling him about. But there isn't anything else so the possibilities are:

1. I haven't properly explained some surrounding circumstances.
2. I'm a weak pathetic sissy (which is still inbuilt into possibility 1, because needing a gigantic backstory is pathetic too).

I've been trying to come up with a way to try explaining the things that might be unexplained but maybe I shouldn't even bother because it's all just too minor and I should be more focused on moving on from the idea of talking about any of this stuff.
If it weren't for my long distance bf I could cancel my internet, and get a dumb-phone plan without data just for calls with my parents and that'd be that.

 

[Daniel E.]

because it's all just too minor

Maybe try to find recurring themes during journaling? Even if something seems minor, isn't life sometimes about the details?

Journaling can help facilitate therapy in any case: Journaling in Therapy | Psychology Today

 

[Daniel E.]

If it weren't for my long distance bf I could cancel my internet, and get a dumb-phone plan without data just for calls with my parents and that'd be that.

Or go on a cruise (The Internet was so slow for me on Norwegian Cruise Line that I just used it to read Google Books.)

 

[Jesse910]

Hi Gooblax:

Why put yourself through figuring out the details? When the timing is right, the words will come. One of the ways I cope is through journaling. I tend to edit less. I'm not big on telling everything to my therapist because we are different people and he doesn't always get what I am sharing. Some times, I need to just let myself off the hook and just breathe.

 

[gooblax]

Thanks for the journalling suggestions.

I've been reluctant to do journalling this time around because I feel like I need to be talking to someone else. I don't feel safe trusting myself with my thoughts, if that makes sense. (My old journal used to turn into a self-insulting activity.) That said, I spend plenty of time scribbling things down on random bits of paper or in random word docs or notes on my phone so that's almost like a journal but far less structured and always with the intent of trying to put my thoughts into an order to be communicated to someone else. Maybe I do just need to find a single location to put it all, and pretend I'm writing to a version of myself who's not going to be an asshat.

Once it gets later in the day I'm going to ask my therapist for a session either the week after next or later (also once I determine how to word that nonconfusingly). The only thing this break has done is made me feel more miserable... which was one of the aims, so no surprises there. I guess it also got me thinking about why it made me miserable so that might be useful too.

But maybe having a session date as a target will at least put the brakes on the mopey train.

 

[Daniel E.]

But maybe having a session date as a target will at least put the brakes on the mopey train.

Like booking a cruise to the psyche

 

[gooblax]

Like booking a cruise to the psyche

Haha sure, something like that

When we last spoke he said he'd prefer that I sms to ask for a session rather than email so that's a different beast in itself.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Does SMS make it easier than email? Or more difficult?

 

[gooblax]

Does SMS make it easier than email? Or more difficult?

I won't know until I try it.

SMS I think is more "interrupt-y" than email so I'm mildly worried about sending it at a bad time. I refused to save his mobile number as a contact because it seemed weird but I do have his number from when he SMS'd me about being late and it's included on his bills and email sig so it's not like it's weird for me to have it but it feels weird to use it. But email feels weird too so there's no real net change there.

The real test will be with how I go after sending it, like will I be checking my phone a zillion times (probably) the same as with email.

I dunno, SMS just feels a bit more personal than an email even though I'd guess its a separate work mobile and I'm saying less personal stuff (like literally just hey can we have a session at xyz?) .

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Yeah I would prefer email personally. Less intrusive on both sides.

Like I usually answer emails fairly promptly but I can do it when I'm ready to reply. SMS is more of a demand which makes me feel like I should reply immediately.

I would recommend that if SMS puts you off at all, just do the usual email request.

 

[gooblax]

He said that he gets a lot of emails, and given his track record of replying it's probably worth me trying the SMS this time since he suggested it.
Then try to hide my phone from myself til lunch time.

 

[gooblax]

Good to see that he doesn't have any impetus to reply quickly to SMS.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

 

[GaryQ]

I won't know until I try it.
I dunno, SMS just feels a bit more personal than an email even though I'd guess its a separate work mobile and I'm saying less personal stuff (like literally just hey can we have a session at xyz?) .

sorry, not funny but can't help finding that ironic... personal... this is the guy that you have therapy sessions with! That's technically a jeck of a lot more personal that a text message no? and I'm pretty sure he has it in do not disturb when it would be inconvenient

I was only coming around cause I got a post from FMN with just a freinds smilet and then saw this and Hunter's thread. Haven't even made it there yet :facepalm:

Happy to hear you're not giving up on your therapy. Hang in there kiddo

I'm glad David didn't remove my status or close my account. I can at least keep an eye out for you guys even if it's not very helpful. I just can't get into full on activity at the moment and can't promise I ever will. But keep feeling compelled to come check up on my friends here once in a while.

 

[gooblax]

sorry, not funny but can't help finding that ironic... personal... this is the guy that you have therapy sessions with! That's technically a jeck of a lot more personal that a text message no? and I'm pretty sure he has it in do not disturb when it would be inconvenient

LOL Well yes the therapy session itself is more personal, but outside of a session I figure he wouldn't want anything to do with personal stuff.

But oh well, I guess no need to think about it for at least 2 weeks if he hasn't replied by then.

Glad to see you even just for a quick pop-in Gary

 

[GaryQ]

but outside of a session I figure he wouldn't want anything to do with personal stuff.​

That would be a no no if you were asking him out on a date. Not for professional reasons
Glad to see yous still here when I pull a quick pop-up gooblax

Now I need to rest a bit. Take care

 

[gooblax]

:lol: I certainly have no intentions of asking him on a date.
It's more about respecting personal time and space and whatnot.

He replied to my text this afternoon so I've got the session set up now. Hopefully that might help a little.

 

[gooblax]

I have been feeling significantly less upset about things since getting the next session sorted out, which is good. Interesting to see how much of the problem was being driven by that mess, but I don't know how to break it down further really.

I'm trying to decide what will be most useful to talk about in my next session. I still want to run the thing from pg1 of this thread past him but it starts getting too long every time I try to plan it out. And by the end of it it still doesn't make sense. Then it also might be useful to discuss how this "break" worked out but I don't know if I can properly explain that either.
I'm going to be unintentionally confusing when I start talking about it unless I figure out some of this in advance.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

What do you mean by it keeps getting too long?

 

[gooblax]

What do you mean by it keeps getting too long?

Like too many sentences/lines. After the first two points, my third point isn't really a point as much as it is a sphere - I can't get to the point because I don't know what it is. The longer it gets, the less sense it's going to make.