Not getting any easier

[Lonewolf]

It's been over 3 months since I S/H and it's not getting any easier, in fact I think it's getting more and more difficult!! Does it ever get any better or will it be another lifetime struggle? I can almost feel my skin pleading with me for the pain!! My emotions are all over the place and I just don't know how to cope with it!! It is so painful!! I am an emotional wreck most of the time!! I do still believe that this emotional stuff is far more painful than any injuries I have inflicted on myself!!! I am not feeling very strong right now!! I have joined a gym to see if that will help me as well!! The pain is not the pain I feel I need!! I yearn to see and feel my own blood, I need that pain from cutting!! It's all I can think about at times!! It comes and goes, but every time it comes back it's a bit stronger!! Is this normal? Is it always going to be so hard? I am still going to counselling, it is helping me, but it's also so painful having to face everything that it brings up!! It all feels like an on going struggle and I don't think I am strong enough to keep fighting all the time!! It's continuous!! Anyone please help me? I think I am losing this!! mg:

 

[forgetmenot]

Your are NOT losing it you are winning each time you do not sh you are winning and yes it does become easier because you have shown yourself that you can win against this urge You therapist should and will teach you other coping methods that are better then inflicting pain on yourself Lonewolf. Each day you not harm is a day you are taking control of you ok so good for you for not sh in three months way to go.