Not just my body

[Kharma]

I know the term Body Dysmorphic... but what do you call it when you find ALL human bodies and their functions to be disturbing? People are ugly. All people. Sex is ugly. Defecation is ugly. People masticating are ugly. People just walking and talking look goofy and... ugly.

I also know the term mysanthropia, and perhaps it applies here. But always thought of that as being from a more philosophical or psychological standpoint, rather than an issue of the complete package.

 

[Daniel E.]

But always thought of that as being from a more philosophical or psychological standpoint

There are also religious and other cultural factors that denigrate the body in favor of the mind or soul, e.g. the Cartesian split of mind and body. And with sex being less taboo, there is more cultural focus on eating as a "guilty pleasure."

But from a psychological perspective, people with social anxiety may rationalize their avoidance of restaurants, public restrooms, romantic relationships, etc.

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Similarly, with depression, one may rationalize the common symptom of social withdrawal, e.g. loneliness can be dressed up as existential isolation.

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And:

[SIZE=-1]I[/SIZE]n a factor analysis study, loneliness was prominent in a factor which consisted of negative attributes of personality including depression, anxiety, external locus of control, misanthropy, psychoticism and neuroticism (Hojat, 1982).

Comparison of transitory and chronic loners on selected personality variables - Hojat - 2011 - British Journal of Psychology - Wiley Online Library

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[Kharma]

Avoidant Personality Disorder. I definately have that, if the Wiki page on the subject states the symptoms correctly.

And besides the obvious "Fake it 'Til you Make it," strategy of forcing oneself to attend social events, are there any other recommended strategies for dealing with this phenomena? I'd attend events, but find myself leaving them even more down and depressed than before I went. Seems entierly counter-productive.

 

[Daniel E.]

One way of looking at cognitive therapy (the "C" in CBT) is that it helps one be more open to experience, e.g. cognitive reframing/restructuring.

I also like this article:

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/positive...hemicals-dip-your-brain-concocts-failure.html

 

[Kharma]

Read the article. And it kind of makes sense.

"The cortex only learns from new experience when it's especially relevant to survival. Otherwise, it pretty much relies on old experience. That's efficient. But your old experience may have wired you to react with great frustration to neurochemical let-downs. Your brain will keep using the neural pathways you've already built unless you invest the huge effort it takes to build new pathways."

How do you build these new pathways? If it is such a huge effort, is it worth it? Climbing back into my hole and ignoring the world - while it does nothing for my mysanthropic outlook - does serve to shield others from my antagonistic tirades.

Meh. Where to begin when you're so broken? With a puzzle, you look for the corner pieces, then the edges, then the middle. Where do you begin when you realise that there isn't anything at all about yourself that you'd keep if given the choice?

If I thought for one second that reincarnation was real, I'd just start over now. Luckily (or not, I'm never sure on this one) this is the only shot at getting it "right" that I've got, and I'd much rather go out with a bang than a whimpper.

 

[Daniel E.]

Where do you begin when you realise that there isn't anything at all about yourself that you'd keep if given the choice?

Everyone has strengths. So by building on one's existing strengths and doing things gradually, things are easier (or less difficult), especially if one can avail oneself of therapy.

If it is such a huge effort, is it worth it?

Maybe you are already half way there. And, of course, personal growth is a never-ending, lifetime process.

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How do you build these new pathways?

By the same author (excerpt from her upcoming book):

You can stop this vicious cycle in one instant. All it takes is accepting those unhappy chemicals instead of rushing to activate your old-familiar happy circuit. But no one wants to do this because it leaves you feeling like you’re about to be eaten by a lion. Your brain did not evolve to “do nothing” in that moment. You seek that donut, or any other familiar happy circuit, as if your life depended on it, because from your limbic system’s perspective, it does...

You can free yourself from a vicious cycle in 45 days, if you repeat a new thought or behavior every day without fail. A new pathway will develop if you keep it up. But the new choice will not make you happy on Day One, so you may be tempted to stop. The new choice may not make you happy on Day Forty. Persistence will create yourself an alternative to the behavior that holds you in a vicious cycle. But while you’re building the new circuit, the old circuit will seem very tempting. Every time you resist the old behavior and activate the new one, you are changing the pathways the create your expectations. Once you’ve developed a new circuit, you will stop expecting the old circuit to lead to happiness.

read more

It reminds me of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), a form of CBT:

Short-term focus. The motto of this coping strategy is “Why do it right when I can do it now?” When faced with emotional pain, many people focus on what can give them relief in the moment. They want to stop or suppress the emotion and will do whatever it will take to build a wall between themselves and their feelings. But while short-term focus may provide a brief moment when the pain diminishes, in an hour or a day or a week it’s back—and it’s worse than ever. That’s because short-term relief strategies often harm people in the long run. For example, drugs or alcohol can numb the pain in the moment but create long-term job, relationship, and health problems that eclipse the original distress. Another example is avoiding an upcoming social event because it makes you anxious. The short-term solution of avoidance temporarily reduces anxiety, but in the long term each choice to avoid increases the level of social fear, while also leading to isolation and risk of depression.

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/acceptan...ems-arise-7-maladaptive-coping-behaviors.html

 

[Kharma]

"Everyone has strengths"

If you're going to tell me that getting out of bed is a "strength" just 'cause I do it when I don't feel like it (sometimes) I'm going to abandon all hope. That's not a strength. Kenny Rogers, Sting, or Brian Adams' voice; Stephen King, Henry David Thoreau, or James Camerons' words; Michael Angelo, Leonardo da Vinci or Claude Monet's painting... those are strengths.

Cooking a good steak - when cavemen cook good steaks - that's not a strength. It's fire and meat.


"You can free yourself from a vicious cycle in 45 days, if you repeat a new thought or behavior every day without fail."

I feel as if I'm coming across as defeatest... something I've heard said about me on more than one occasion. But what new thought or behavior? What thing do I choose to drop, and what thing do I replace it with? I've no ability to choose these things on my own: time and again I find (and am told) that my decisions are bad ones - or at best not optimum.

Besides the fact that by morning I'll have forgoten what it is I settled on tonight. Or if I don't forget, it'll appear useless, pointless, or uninformed in the cold light of day. Keeping consistant for 45 days? Yeah.... I'm nothing if not evidence that I can't keep consistantly doing anything - except beat my head on the wall of my own stubbornness.

Thearapy is not a choice. I know myself well enough to know I won't be honest face-to-face. Tried it a few times, with disasterous results. One was directly - and the courts proved it - related to a suicide-by-cop attempt... not going to risk THAT again.

 

[Daniel E.]

Tried it a few times, with disasterous results.

So the future seems hopeless since it seems like just a repetition of the past?

 

[Kharma]

No. The future has potential, if I can find some way to "fix" things that will work for me. So far everything I've tried has not. Can't see the logic behind trying ways that have already proven themselves a failure (with me.)

 

[Daniel E.]

I know myself well enough to know I won't be honest face-to-face.

Have you considered online therapy? In any case, one can discuss such issues with a new therapist to help resolve them.

 

[Kharma]

I have considered online therapy. It would have to be free, as I live check to check, and often survive on free food-bank bread as there isn't enough left over for food. Have been unable to find any such free services.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

• infochilliwack.ca - On-line directory for resources and programs in Chilliwack
• HealthLink BC : Find Services and Resources
• Fraser Health - Our Services
• Fraser Health - Our Services

If they don't offer free or low cost services, ask them to provide you with leads.

 

[Kharma]

Thanks. Will look into it, but can't find anything after a brief glance which would be on-line therapy. Will look some more, but was really rather hoping I could find what I was looking for here - the idea of going into an office and speaking to someone.... prol'ly not going to happen.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Thanks. Will look into it, but can't find anything after a brief glance which would be on-line therapy. Will look some more, but was really rather hoping I could find what I was looking for here - the idea of going into an office and speaking to someone.... prol'ly not going to happen.

They weren't meant to be sources for online counselling. It's highly unlikely that you'll find anything online for free.

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

Therapist-guided help at home for Sask. residents

This was a newspaper article about online therapy in our province in Saskatchewan. There is a contact # or you can check out the website mentioned in the article.... I can't tell if there is a charge for these services, but the project did receive a lot of money, so maybe it is a reasonable cost, if any...

Anyone over the age of 18 who wants to learn more about the program can go to Online Therapy USER - Online Therapy Unit for Service, Education, and Research or call (306)337-3331.

Read more: Therapist-guided help at home for Sask. residents
​

"Those interested in the online service can refer themselves or they can be referred by a mental health professional from their health region or community clinician.Clients have access to 12 modules, which they work through over 12 weeks. Each program is treatment specific and has a different set of modules, Nugent said.


For example, online therapy for depression helps clients understand the mood disorder and teaches them ways to overcome it.


“The first part tracks specifically what the client is working through and then it starts working on skills to address some of those issues,” Nugent said. “You learn things like how to monitor mood and plan enjoyable activities, relaxation techniques, problem solving and relapse prevention.”

Clients send weekly exercises to the therapist through the website’s secure messaging system so their progress can be reviewed and concerns addressed. At their convenience, clients can contact their therapist, who will respond by email once a week over the three-month treatment period."

Read more: Therapist-guided help at home for Sask. residents
​

 

[Budoaiki]

Hello Kharma,

No. The future has potential, if I can find some way to "fix" things that will work for me. So far everything I've tried has not. Can't see the logic behind trying ways that have already proven themselves a failure (with me.)

Based on my interpretation from your writing I think it is important to note the fact that the same method from another source is not that different from someone else using the same tool in a different way to complete the same task.

Like a pen or a pencil that can be used to write, draw and design depending on who's holding it and why.
Or just as two artists with the same training, each staring at a blank canvas on an easel with the same tools and utensils would logically end up with different results.

That's not to say that your previous attempts were in anyway ineptly executed by whatever type of practitioner, or lack of effort on your part only that you may have more success working with someone else.

I am not sure about the laws in your province but as far as i know most Canadian hospitals offer some form of psychological care with a doctor's referral. Finding care may not be easy but I doubt that you would say it isn't worth the effort.

 

[lover and fighter]

Maybe your overwhelming dislike of people in general reflects a deeper struggle between spirit and body. Maybe if you try to see people and yourself as spiritual beings living in a physical world (if you believe in the spiritual) you can learn to see past the physical and connect with the spiritual or at least appreciate the things that aren't physical like emotional connections and personalities. Or at the very least not be disgusted by the mere thought of humanity. People are gross and awkward and goofy, but there's good stuff in there too. It just depends on what you choose to focus on.