poohbear
Member
Hello! I'm not "new" but have had a long absence. Well, several, lol! I have been on and off this site for five years and always return, always find something useful about it.
I want to thank Dr.Baxter for even hosting this site, I have found it tremendously helpful throughout the years. I've even told some of my friends about it, that they might find something of use here, some acceptance.
Also, wanted to re-introduce myself. I'm a 37(almost 38) year old mom of three. recently went through a very nasty divorce and still suffer through my ex's controlling behaviors (mostly financial and custodial issues--he's very demanding and sneaky). I am also a survivor of molestation/rape and possibly incest , though I cannot remember things-- my childhood is really a blur. My sister (half sister, but my WHOLE heart
most definitley was involved in an incestuous relationship with my father, and I harbor alot of guilt and anger (NOT towards her) for that. My parents were abusive both physically and psychologically. I still have a relationship with them, but I am very guarded. I want nothing more than to not have to feel obligated to keep them in my life, to cut them out. I think I have had some moderate "depressive" episodes lately, where I just sit at home and only do what is absilutely necessary to survive. I DO go to work, but I HAVE called out sick a few times the last few months--this time I actually AM sick and on antibiotics for a respiratory infection--I feel AWFUL--which is why I am likely vulnerable and posting all this. But I have called out once in the last two months where I could have gone in, I just couldn't bring myself to do it I think writing about how I feel will help me feel better. I love to write, and wish I could keep a journal, actually. But I am so used to typing now that , my arm gets tired when I write so much! An online one would be good, but I am actually scared someone will "peek" somehow. So, if anyone knows of a secure way to journal, let me know. Guess I could write it on my computer.
Okay, then. Well....alot on my mind! I thought this was going to be just a little introduction, but I guess I have alot more on my mind than I thought! haha!
I want to thank Dr.Baxter for even hosting this site, I have found it tremendously helpful throughout the years. I've even told some of my friends about it, that they might find something of use here, some acceptance.
Also, wanted to re-introduce myself. I'm a 37(almost 38) year old mom of three. recently went through a very nasty divorce and still suffer through my ex's controlling behaviors (mostly financial and custodial issues--he's very demanding and sneaky). I am also a survivor of molestation/rape and possibly incest , though I cannot remember things-- my childhood is really a blur. My sister (half sister, but my WHOLE heart
most definitley was involved in an incestuous relationship with my father, and I harbor alot of guilt and anger (NOT towards her) for that. My parents were abusive both physically and psychologically. I still have a relationship with them, but I am very guarded. I want nothing more than to not have to feel obligated to keep them in my life, to cut them out. I think I have had some moderate "depressive" episodes lately, where I just sit at home and only do what is absilutely necessary to survive. I DO go to work, but I HAVE called out sick a few times the last few months--this time I actually AM sick and on antibiotics for a respiratory infection--I feel AWFUL--which is why I am likely vulnerable and posting all this. But I have called out once in the last two months where I could have gone in, I just couldn't bring myself to do it I think writing about how I feel will help me feel better. I love to write, and wish I could keep a journal, actually. But I am so used to typing now that , my arm gets tired when I write so much! An online one would be good, but I am actually scared someone will "peek" somehow. So, if anyone knows of a secure way to journal, let me know. Guess I could write it on my computer.Okay, then. Well....alot on my mind! I thought this was going to be just a little introduction, but I guess I have alot more on my mind than I thought! haha!
