TheNachtjager
Member
Hello. This isn't very easy for me to let go into the world, but I would like people's opinions. I am on the other end of a 1.5 year bout with OCD and being terrified that I am going to indulge in homicide. Things are much better now, but yesterday at work, I got all my issues worked up in my head and at one point I genuinely wanted to indulge in homicide. I actually wanted to do it. During that I had slight panic attacks running and of course it worries me that the curiosity of doing such an act is attractive. Now, I have read many posts here on how to self help your OCD, but this is the first time I have ever been genuinely attracted to the horrible thing I've been afraid of for such a long time, and that's the difference between being afraid of intrusive thoughts and being attracted to them. Is that normal psychology for an OCD sufferer, do you think my thoughts got twisted in knots and then I deceived myself into thinking I wanted to do it, or do you think I should seek some help? I would prefer someone's opinion before simply saying "yes, go get help." I have gotten help in the past, but the people didn't do much, as they didn't know anything about OCD.
Anyway, that being said, I'm hoping someone will enlighten me to what went through my mind. Take care.
Jon
Anyway, that being said, I'm hoping someone will enlighten me to what went through my mind. Take care.
Jon