Oh please - what should I do

[gardens]

OMG - this was the only thread that made sense

Sometimes there isn't a better.
Sometimes we can't receive the help we need.
Sometimes the pain is sooo REAL - it's not in my head.
Oh my GOd I need help

---------- Post Merged at 11:22 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 11:19 PM ----------

Why suffer?
I have my mother who is 82 - I can't leave her.
but at the same time I am sucking he life out of her.
she deserves so much better. I should be looking after her.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Re: omg - this was the only thread that made sense

Sometimes it does just hurt so much. And during those times we have to hold on dearly to the truth and that is, that we deserve to live and we can hold on for one more day. Do you have someone to talk to about this stuff, a therapist? What do you mean "can't receive the help we need?" Are you unable to get help?

 

[gardens]

Re: omg - this was the only thread that made sense

CD - It's funny because you are going through so much pain.
Where do you get the strength to reach out?
I wish you could take your own advice.

Sometimes I feel we are just doing the big stupid circle.
My protective shield - smashed on the floor
be kind to yourself - go **** your self

Good God _ If you hang on I will CD!

 

[Cat Dancer]

Re: omg - this was the only thread that made sense

Well, I am definitely hanging on so you have to as well.

 

[gardens]

I can't even find my original thread.

How do I ask for help.
I've called the crisis line before. and went and met my pdoc
But my pdoc is a different person.
what do I do
I need to live

 

[gardens]

Re: omg - this was the only thread that made sense

Good - because I'm holding you to that CD.
I need you and unfortunately your painful desperation.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Re: omg - this was the only thread that made sense

Has something in particular happened tonight that has gotten you so down?

 

[gardens]

I don't know what to say to the crisis line
I'm not sure I want to really say anything

I wish I could be saved. But it's just not so easy

 

[gardens]

Re: omg - this was the only thread that made sense

I just feel so beat down. It' work related. But that is just my trigger.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Re: omg - this was the only thread that made sense

I'm looking for a crisis line number if you need one.

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http://www.psychlinks.ca/suicide.html

 

[gardens]

Re: omg - this was the only thread that made sense

so hard to call. what do I say? Gee! I'm having a bit of a problem ......I won't go to the hospital
]

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Gee CD - I really wish you and I live close together. We could really help each other.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Re: omg - this was the only thread that made sense

I'd say, "hey i'm really having a rough time. I need someone to hear me." Hey, maybe I should call one too.

 

[gardens]

Re: omg - this was the only thread that made sense

I'll call one if you do.
I REALLY feel you suffering. You need help too.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Re: oh please - what should I do

You can be saved. It might indeed not be easy, but don't give up.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Re: omg - this was the only thread that made sense

Ok, I will. I'll try to find one for me. I think I do need to talk to someone.

 

[gardens]

Re: omg - this was the only thread that made sense

Oh CD - You have been through more than I have.
I've wanted to help you on this forum.
Provide some light.
Bust my life is dark.
Life is too hard for me.
The pain is too great. I do know that there is beauty. Joy. Peace.
Please try to find that for your children. Fight for that peace for children.


There has never been a question about you being a good mother.
It's what you believe that is the issue here.
Depression. OCD. BDP. BP. etc. etc. etc. sooooo many other illnesses. There IS a sickness here. You keep fighting for the answer.
I've learned that we cannot trust our care-givers completely.

That is why we need this support group.
There is no ONE answer. we are lovely and unique and interesting.!
CD - stay with me!

 

[Cat Dancer]

Re: omg - this was the only thread that made sense

It is illness isn't it? It's not really us. It's sad that we get lost in the illness. I want credit for trying really hard because I think I have. Do you ever feel that way, like you try SO hard?

You're very kind. Thank you.

 

[gardens]

Re: omg - this was the only thread that made sense

I feel the same way as you CD.
This illness is fatal for a reason.
You HAVE been trying so hard, working so hard.
I wish there was a cure for us.
There isn't
But.....We have each other.!!!!!!

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We have to keep fighting

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I hate the - well are you seeing a therapist, pdoc, have you talked to your doc about this?

---------- Post Merged at 12:35 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 12:33 AM ----------

Sometimes we do the best we can.
Period.

---------- Post Merged at 12:37 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 12:33 AM ----------

CD - you are awesome
You do help me. I don't know why - but it's this communication that is most valuable.

 

[gardens]

I really think this is the future

I've been 'sick' for a while.
My teenage years were spent - chasing """"love"""
I had relationships with many older men.

The one that "hurts" hurts. Is when I was 17, my sisters wedding. This "cop" was attracted to me. I was drunk and I went along with him. He was so mad that my sister was marrying any one guy but him. I't became.....I'm not sure what sexual, physical, emotional abuse is, how is it defined.

He trapped me to the floor. He [did terrible things to me].
I broke free.

I was accused the next day of being the slut! My father said "how could you?"

 

[gardens]

Okay so I'm a fool

If I were serious. I would'nt want to hear any blah, blah

I suppose I/s not too serious as I've not done it.
What is it we are waiting for?