Oh please - what should I do

[making_art]

Re: Okay so I'm a fool

Gardens..I am not feeling well so have to go to bed...but I read your posts and wanted to let you know that I care and wish I could be more supportive of you tonight.

Your mother wants you to stay in her life because she loves you and I am sure she is so looking forward to the day you are feeling better so she can also share that with you. You are not sucking the life out of her...you are her beautiful daughter...her baby....but you not being in her life would mean she would have the remainder of her life to live with a large piece of her heart missing.

You will get through this rough patch...you are getting there so keep on trudging on...untill the sun starts to shine in your life once again..

I am so sorry that you had to endure such a trauma at the wedding with the police officer.

---------- Post Merged at 11:44 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 11:37 PM ----------

and..you're not a fool....you are suffering......I don't know what time it is in your region but is it possible that you can create a distraction from your thoughts by going to a favorite coffee shop......or other place that is different from where you are right now?

Can you call your therapist?

I am going to lay down so here are a few hugs until I read your post again....:grouphug:

 

[gardens]

Re: Okay so I'm a fool

I called the crisis Line
I wasn't at the point of real suicide.. It dind't register...Guess I'lll try to be more deadly in the futllure

---------- Post Merged at 01:59 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 01:46 AM ----------

I must be clear here.
Anyone reading this...YOU are loved. That is no small thing.

Be you! Even if that means being against the grain.
Be. Who you are at this very moment:
Tell the Big(what ever you want to call him or her)
I am. I was I will be
Bless
You will not define me.

 

[forgetmenot]

Re: Okay so I'm a fool

I am sorry hun you are in such a dark place hun You are someone hun you are special and you are cared for. It is so hard to reach out for that help that voice in the dark that will hold us here. You did reach out hun you did good. Sometimes just hearing a voice even if it is not what we want to hear it helps to ground us some.
I too hope you can get a hold of your therapist or doctor hun soon I am I was I will be and you will be ok hun Hugs

 

[MHealthJo]

I am so sorry for this wrong, awful thing that was done to you Gardens.

And I am so terribly sorry that anyone tried to say it was your fault.

If healthy boundaries are disrespected it is never ever your fault, how awful for anyone to say or think so. They have just got it wrong.

Wonderful, wonderful, you are saying strong things and writing strong things - you keep writing and saying the strong things, the truthful things that are self-loving and self-caring.

And reaching out can help you keep doing that and your story can be heard and comforted. Sometimes the comfort and care needed, after wrong or awful or scary things happen, does not come through at the time... Or maybe it comes but the upset, hurt or shock has made it difficult for our body and mind to fully absorb the care and comfort we need and deserve.

But we can always, always reach out and find it later... it is never never too late and we never never stop deserving care and comfort. As much as we need. Never ever.

And please remember most crisis lines/suicide based lines are not just for those at a high suicide risk - they are for those in distress. Full stop. I use them sometimes, just to lift up when I struggle, to stay strong, or get strength back. Take a look around; keep trying until you have a way to receive comfort and support when you need it - and of course talk to us any time.

I am so happy that you feel comfortable and safe talking to Cat Dancer. She is beautiful, is she not? One day she will see the care she has given to others and see all the beautiful things in her, such as this. You gave her that opportunity by bravely reaching out. You sound like you really are trying hard against a very tough illness, just like CD is. I bet no mum would see her daughter, suffering against a very tough illness, as 'sucking her dry'. If she did feel that way, she would be wrong. A mum would not feel an adult child is 'sucking her dry' if the child needed some sort of help or support if the child was laid away after a big injury, or surgery, or whatever. Families and friends help and support each other, and the roles switch around sometimes, it just depends on the situation. That is wonderful and right and is not a thing to feel guilty about. Sometimes things happen and we get a longer-term challenge to struggle against. You know what, that is pure chance. You didn't order that purposely off of a "Life Challenges Menu". It is chance. And you are reaching out, struggling, against ilnesses whose very nature make that INCREDIBLY HARD TO DO.

You are beautiful Gardens. Your wit and perspectives and caring thoughts toward others put a smile on my face.

Thinking of both of you. xoxo

 

[making_art]

My thoughts are with you today, Gardens.....hope you are in the hospital or otherwise getting the support and help you need...:xunsure:

 

[forgetmenot]

Please let us know how you are hun I too hope you are getting the support you need and deserve hugs.