More threads by almostoverit

Hi, I am new here and this is my first post. I guess I kind of have a story before I go into whats been bothering me.
I am 19 and a somewhat recovered cocaine addict. I say somewhat because lately I have dipped into it again, only a few times and I can say that i'm not addicted because I don't feel like I did before. In the past 3 months alot has changed for me. I am in a new relationship, with someone that I truely care about. But being with him has brought out alot of things that bother me. My friend who I thought was my best friend started dating my boyfriends best friend and things went downhill from there. The two of them started questioning things about me, and telling my boyfriend that I am a liar and that everything I have ever said is a lie. For example, they said that I was not in rehab for coke and that I just made that up, which is ridiculious, why would someone lie about that it isn't necessarily something you are proud of. Also my friend said that I lied about my father, what he does for a living etc etc... I won't go into that but I stopped talkign to my friend and I thought that things were alright. I've never had to deal with anything like this and its driving me crazy, lately I have been smoking alot of pot and drinking and now I am experiencing extreme paranoia, I feel like everyone is out to get me. I feel that the only reason that people are friends with me and even my boyfriend why he is with me, is just to screw me over. I hate feeling like this because I feel like I can't trust anyone, it's even gotten to the point where I feel like there is almost like some huge conspiracy out against me and that my brother/mother/father everyone is out to get me, I hate feeling like this. Is this even normal, I don't understand. I am or have decided to get myself out of the drugs/boose ... I just hate feeling paranoid all the time and I want to talk to someone because I feel like I am going crazy. The things that I think in my head are ridiculious...
If anyone has any advice on how I can get over this or if anyone else feels this way ... or if i'm on my own here. I just feel so lost, like i've lost control of my life ... there are other things that may contribute to this, I used to be on medication for depression and had to move and start over in a different city and lost alot of my friends. I am still in high school because I took time off and travelled and then went into a more depressive state because I have another year of school and will be 20 when I graduate. I come from a divorced family, etc etc... but none of this bothered me before I started feeling this paranoia. Please someone help me, I desperately need it.


Hi Almostoverit;

When you were undergoing treatment, was there a counsellor that you worked with? Is it possible for you to go and see him/her again? Or perhaps attend any meetings that may be taking place on regular basis. That is one of the things you can do to help you cope.

Another, and forgive me if you’ve heard it before, is to stop coke, smocking pot, and drinking. Studies show that substance use induces depression, which is what may be happening with you.

Hang in there and let us know how you’re doing. :)

David Baxter PhD

Late Founder
As Lana said, if you're using coke and smoking a lot of pot, you can expect to struggle with paranoid thinking at least from time to time.

Stop using those drugs and you'll feel a whole lot better.


Paranoia is very complex indeed,firstly the drugs (coke and hash) will almost definately speed up your thoughts into an uncontrollable whirlwind,you will start to recal certain moments and scenarios,what people have said to you,thoughts that have sat in your unconcious mind unchecked will suddenly be propelled to the fore.There is a fine line between paranoia and revelation,in one instance the drugs will highten your senses and will make you more aware,they raise you up to a level of increased observation of all interactions...this is very dangerous to the untrained mind,it`s a way of thinking that is learned,many people develop mental conditions and are scarred for life...people die!
Nobody knows for sure if it is all just an illusion but then again life itself is full of illusions and trickery,it has nothing to do with super intellect or delusions of grandure it`s something quite different that only those kind of people that are born with this kind of genetic make up can live with,maybe this is a load of rubbish.Can you see where i`m going with this? Life is hard enough without drugs,what has been happening to you is real,it`s happend,now is time to start afresh,get some proffesional help to get off and stay off drugs and get your mind straight,you will then be able to deal with life better,remember you are only young and you are only starting to experience life in an adult manner,the drugs will hinder this natural progression into adulthood.

This is all coming from a man who really has been there and done that and i`m still learning. Be true to yourself and stay strong,only you have the answers,all you need is someone to help you understand yourself better through the confusion and distortions that drugs have help create.

All the best to you Michael
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