Power to overcome

[desiderata]

I wonder if I have a note on my back that says: " I am powerless- go ahead and push me, test me, take advantage of me".
I write this because I was once told that I give my power away. I have been conflicted with this ever since and have lost touch with the person who told me this. To me it means I submit and don't stand my ground or defend myself very well. That may have been more true 10 years ago but I have overcome some areas that needed changing such as self confidence, self esteem, etc. However, I still feel that some people take advantage of the fact that kindness and humility are weaknesses. I try not to distress myself with what they think but I can bend only so much and take so much negativity. Apparently the people who bully and harass have more of a problem than myself. Although these people will always be around they will still have to be dealt with.

 

[Yuray]

Re: power to overcome

Your post is very vague. Could you give some examples of how you feel you give away power, or set yourself up for exploitation?

You mentioned losing touch with the person who said you give power away. If you were back in touch, would there be an advantage?

 

[desiderata]

Re: power to overcome

Yuray,

The person that told me I give my power away was a therapist I had been seeing. Like I said, it was 10 years ago and he has moved on to a different area. There wouldn't be any advantage to seeing him again other than what he said has stuck with me. Not that what he said was bad or untrue it's just that I have grown and see another very good therapist now.

As far as an example: 90% of the jobs I have left were due to the culture and attitudes that these workplaces have adopted. I have been able to adapt pretty well and maintain some good lateral and verticle relations within these companies. Although there always seems to be a snag somewhere with someone.

5 weeks ago I started a new job much closer to home. I was commuting 100 miles round trip at my previous job. I have over 20 years of experience in my field. However, I am using a different type of control that uses a different programming language. The owner knew this when he hired me and believed I would be able to pick it up fairly well. I have. The person training me was in the same boat when he started and after 5 years is pretty adept at what he does.

1. I brought in a notebook the first day and he told me to put it away.
2. He scolds me when I make a mistake and says I should know this by now. Maybe so but nobody is perfect and this should be part of the learning curve. There is a lot of new information to absorb and he will stand right over me whiling I'm programming.
3. Within the second week I spoke up and said "hey, if I'm not cutting it well......." His response was that I knew where the door was.
4. Now I have to get faster with what I do.

After the second week I brought my situation up to the operations manager. He said the behavior with what I was dealing with was unacceptable and he liked my attitude and the job I was doing. I told him I just wanted him to be aware of the situation and asked to let things be without stirring anything up. Well things hit a boiling point about a week later. I talked to the owner and he asked me what it was I wanted. I told him if we had to I would sit down and talk things through to resolve the situation. He appreciated my input and said he would talk to this person. Things went well for about a week and now are sliding back to how it was.

I came into this new job with a good attitude, a willingness to learn, and have given my full attention and respect towards those around me.
I still get stuck with someone who's got some issues and its making it very difficult.

 

[Yuray]

It certainly sounds like you are handling this issue in a proactive way, despite your frustration. Communicating with the higher ups, and the willingness to have a sit down for discussion are points in your favour. You are doing your very best I'm sure. Employers see these things, and they also see who may be putting what knife in who's back. Tough it out for a while yet if you can.

90% of the jobs I have left were due to the culture and attitudes that these workplaces have adopted

Do you feel these attitudes are ethnic or religious motivated?