I feel like I am just lost for years and there is no hope for me to find a right partner. I am 30, doing a doctorate in science and I have been through a lot in my life. I developed love for heavy metal music which provides for me an escape where I can let it go and enjoy. It is not just the music, it is a life philosophy. On the other hand, I have a lot of interests in intellectual topics. All this turns out to be a problem for finding a partner. People around me at work, that I can share ideas with, do not attract me at all on other level. They are all nerdy, complicated and conservative and apart that I am not attracted to them, I do not like the way how interpersonal relationships are developed. They can be very romantic but I see that kind of romanticism as socially learned romanticism and I find it repulsive. I have good friends among them but I am not interested for more and they just do not understand that other part of me... Right now I am engaged in a relationship with very attractive guy from the 'heavy' world. A strong bond of primitive loyalty, a lot of sex and physical attraction, music and romanticism on some other level. And of course, I miss that intellectual aspect. And he is not accepted in the other nerdy world where I am very criticized for this relationship. I was trying for years to find a partner with a profile similar like mine but my search is hopeless. I can not change and for me a relationship with such a compromise is not a relationship. How to be happy?