Prognosis for dissociative people?

[Jazzey]

I've been doing a lot of reading and research on this topic lately. Everything I've read about people who have a similar diagnosis as myself (highly dissociative) is quite disheartening (that's my interpretation on what I've read).

Has anyone else been diagnosed with dissociation? Have you successfully stopped dissociating? How long did it take you to learn to cope with the dissociative behaviours?

 

[NicNak]

Hi Jazzey. I have dissociation as well, as a symptom. I have never really considered my prognosis actually :blush:

I am not sure what degree of dissociation I have. I don't think it is a dissociation disorder in itself I have, but a symptom. He says it comes with what I have, but not sure which of the diagnosis it is from.

From what I hear, there is a difference between having a dissociative disorder as aposed to it being a symptom.

Sorry this isn't much help, but just wanted to let you know, I as well have dissociation as a diagnosed symptom. :support:

 

[Jazzey]

Thanks NN. It does help to know that other people have dissociation.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

There are varying degrees of dissociation and one could argue that anyone who has experienced a traumatic event dissociates and/or represses to some extent.

The prognosis for recovery is determined not by whether or not there is some dissociation but more individual characteristics of a specific patient or client, especially by the combination of (1) client motivation, compliance, and consistency of effort; and (2) therapist skill and client-therapist "fit".

 

[Cat Dancer]

I'm really dissociative. My therapist says I'm doing a lot better. He says I used to come to his office and not really be there at all and now I'm there for most of the 50 minutes. So you can do better. It may be something you always struggle with, but we all have our things we struggle with. I think for me, I will always, always struggle with anorexia, depression and anxiety to some extent. They are just part of me, but that doesn't mean I can't function or do well. I can do better and that's what's to strive for.

 

[Jazzey]

Thanks. I know what I have to change. Now I just have to change it.:blush: My pessimism the other night stemmed from a few factors:1) my older age; 2) my level of dissociation; 3) my drinking (and more importantly, how this impedes progress in therapies for dissaciation).

While I can`t really change numbers 1 & 2, I can actually do something about the third thing. Wouldn`t it be great if what I read didn`t apply to me at all because I was willing to do the hard work?

And Cat Dancer - thank you so much for sharing that with me. It does mean a lot to me. Lately when I`ve gone in to my sessions, I`m just not there with her. I think that`s in part why I was wondering if staying was worthwhile. Reading about your experiences is comforting to me - thank you. :hug:

 

[David Baxter PhD]

You're not old.

 

[Into The Light]

hey jazzey, one thing that leads to improving our lives is perseverance. i know how hard that is. i've had so many times of wanting to give up and not bother with the work, but realizing that stopping didn't make me feel better helped me get back up on that horse.

so keep going, keep doing what you're doing, even though progress may seem so slow that you think it's not happening.

i have no suggestions for the drinking as i haven't lived through that issue, maybe it's something you could bring up with your therapist? (i know, probably a difficult issue to broach)

hang in there jazzey, i know you can do this. i have faith in you. :goodjob:

and i agree, you're not old! old is 80. you're only halfway there

 

[Jazzey]

Thank you.

I meant to say that I`m old in terms of starting therapy. I`m just mulling things over and thinking that there are ways that I can help myself. That`s all. I haven`t really helped myself lately. Maybe it`s time that I start caring again .

And I`ve been good about not drinking lately - so I`m going to keep this going in the hopes that I`ll continue to care about my progress in all of this.

 

[ladylore]

No you can't do something about age. Dissociation, in my experience does get better. As for the drinking, 2 questions:

Do you think you have a problem with alcohol?

If yes - What do you want to do about it?

 

[Jazzey]

Yes and no LL - I abuse alcohol when I feel that life is out of control. But I can go long stretches (when I`m feeling better) without having any alcohol. I think it`s just another means of punishing myself or escaping thoughts. I`ve given this a lot of thought in the last month or so...This is what I`m coming up with.

I do want to stop drinking but I also try and not beat myself up when I resort to alcohol to cope lately. Some days are just a little too brutal for me right now. So I`m trying to change the global picture that I have in my mind so that I don`t want to resort to that coping mechanism. I hope this makes sense?

 

[ladylore]

It makes complete sense Jazzey. The concern is: To cope with trauma I used alcohol. Stop drinking, cause I know it isn't helping. Start to feel better. Hit a rough spot and start drinking to deal with the pain.

The normal course of action these days is to deal with substance abuse and the trauma at once. A person can't get to far in therapy when using substances to numb the pain. Therapy brings it up to heal it and substances push it back down.

Bringing this up to your therapist is the best idea. Then she can help you deal with whatever comes up without resorting to alcohol.

I also want to say - this isn't your fault and you are not punishing yourself. It's just that when all the other coping mechanisms fall away you have been left with drinking to cope. I have been there too many times and I really do get it.

There are other ways to get through this, but you may need the support of your therapist to really help you through part.

:friends::hug:

 

[Jazzey]

Thanks LL - I actually don`t hide my alcohol consumption from either my GP or my psychologist...but this is/was at the root of my question in this thread. From what I`ve read, it`s difficult to deal with dissocation when you`re relying on alcohol to cope.

And thank you - your explanation is exactly what I needed. I understand what you`re saying and it makes sense. I actually think that she is doing just that, helping me deal - but I`m not sure that I was recognizing what it was that she was doing until you posted this.

 

[white page]

I meant to say that I`m old in terms of starting therapy.

Jazzey, this is not true, I think I've said this before, however it does bear repetition.
There is no optimum age to begin therapy, at times it requires a certain maturity before we even realise that therapy may be beneficial to us. For instances after a series of events that repeat the same scenarios. Abusive relationships that we seem to fall into time after time.
Once is bad luck, twice may be, but a third time and more indicates to us that there is a problem within us to resolve.
Some folk only begin to have these insights about themselves when well into middle age.
I am aware that during the voyage of therapy there comes that deeply distressing time when we wish we could live our lives over again and that our lives were stolen from us.
Our lives begin now, today, each day and by following therapy we regain the control of our possibilities at whatever age we have the fortune to work with a therapist.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I'll just add this: You're never too old for therapy... as long as you are capable of change and motivated for change, therapy can help you.

 

[Jazzey]

Sorry, I didn`t mean it in that way. The articles that I read and which led to this thread (and I know - be weary of articles on the net) used age as a factor in gauging success rates for the recovery from dissociation.

I agree - we`re never too old for therapy. I was just concerned about recovery or moving forward from dissociative behaviours.

 

[ladylore]

Your never too old to recover and improve on anything - dissociation, recovery....

I really started this journey at 35.

 

[Raina]

I was diagnosed with Dissociative Disorder in 2009 but it was not explained to me what that was so I looked it up...over the past nine months I have basically taken the time to look into myself and become acquainted with my different personalities and subparts and how they affect my life...they are all terribly wounded from all the trauma I have experienced and needed my attention and understanding. Now that I have connected with them...I am looking at what happened and I am using self talk and self soothing, writing and talking into a digital tape recorder to express a lot of repressed thoughts and feelings from ages ago...things I stuffed and that were really hurting me deep down and my other personalities too...

I don't dissociate as much as I used to but I still do it...it has become almost automatic...I space out a lot and my mind is blank a lot...I am writing a lot about my trauma and about what is going on in my life today that upsets me, grounds me, gives me pleasure...I mix it up but I decided that moving forward I would journal and give expression to my thoughts and feelings on what is happening to me in safety. In my journal and in my digital tape recorder that I can erase and in group therapy where appropriate or relevant...

I have used dissociation for so long it will take a while to be present most of the time....that will take a lot of work...I don't day dream a lot...I just blank out...and now once in a while I hear music out of the blue...parts of songs that I have not heard for a long time...then it stops....

I am now aware of when another personality takes over...I can feel the sudden shift in mood, interest, motivation and thought pattern...not to mention energy level...it is uncanny and I am just trying to get a grip on this situation...I will need to do a lot more reading and a lot more observation of myself both when I am alone and with other people before I can start to work on being in this world how I would like to be....I have been trying out being more assertive lately...saying no to things that I don't think are in my best interest or that I don't think I will enjoy and not worrying about the other person's feelings because I have the right to say no...I was a people pleaser for most of my life...it was not working very well for me so I'm bravely making the changes and feeling better about myself.

I am not employed right now so I have the time to do this introspection and reading and trying to understand just how the diagnosis plays out in my day to day life.

Good luck in your seach...sorry I don't have any answers...I'm hard at work much like you ... asking questions, looking for clarification and also ways to stop patterns that are harmful to me or preventing me from making the most of my life.

 

[amastie]

Reviewing this topic much later than it began.

I don't thing it ever fully registered with me that dissociation was shared by others here with whom I had become very close. I remember it being mentioned but had the sense that it was a peripheral thing for others, unlike my experience of dissociating constantly.

I have Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (DDNOS). My psychiatrist says that, in reality, what I experience is the same as someone with full-blown Dissociative Identity Disorder, except that the internal alters never take me over for anything but very shorts bursts of time, when I am most triggered by fear of having done the wrong thing (at least in my own eyes)

I am now 61 and, added to my dissociative disorder is peritoneal cancer, diagnosed last October/November. I was very calm receiving the prognosis for that because I saw it as an end to my mental illness. Not that I'm suicidal. I'm not. I too strongly believe in spirit and the purpose of experiencing all of my life's lessons. That is stronger than my will to finally let go.

We speak of prognosis of having a dissociative disorder. I'm sure that change is possible with the right combination of therapy, *therapist* and motivation.

I had the motivation *and* the right therapist for me, but I never could let her dialogue with the alters. In my case, that was easily done because they stay inside me. I could dialogue with them (mainly through journalling) and that it still what my psychiatrist would have me do, but now I'm too tired to be motivated enough to do that. I also think that there are things that I have neve allowed myself to remember. I could be wrong. It's just a feeling. It's certainly true that I continue, after years of all kinds of therapy, both conservative as well as alternative, that at my age, I still react very stroingly to triggers that take me back to a childhood episode of abuse. I think it would have resolved a long time ago if I would have had more support, particularly from my family, but my mental illness is something they are unable to support or understand, even though they are king and caring people. From an early age, my siblings needed to create distance from a sister who was clearly disturbed, and when they married and had their own children, that distance flowed through to their children. I hardly ever see the grand-niece and nephews and no-one rings me at all except my sister who insists of making sure that I am ok, in the manner of a mother figure, taking over from a role that was too much for mum as well. It leaves me sad not to have a fuller, more real sharing with them. And others too.

A prognosis for dissociative disorder: my experience is that there may not be an end to it. Coupled with my DDNOS and the cancer is binge eating disorder, certainly in keeping with the DDNOS as far as self-protection goes.

Knowing what I do, I do not begrudge having DIDNOS or cancer. Maybe a little more the binge eating because that impacts on my life in such a very evident way, in a way that others find easy to judge me on. If I had anorexia, I'd raise sympathy, but unlike anorexia (and most cases of bulimia as well) there isn't the inner demand to be slim. Quite the opposite. It is morbid obesity that hides me (or what might be found to attract unwanted 'seeing') better than anything except DDNOS. Must say: it's a most unattractive combinatioin when it comes to establishing relationships of any kind, morbid obesity and DDNOS, but then, that's its purpose. I long ago recognized that I felf fear in the company of people. For a long time, I didn't realize that that included the 'presence' of online people as well, and so my inabiliity to stay in touch for a long time.

Most of my life I missed studying successfully. I wanted to learn more than anything. (I also aspired to a successful academic life). Now I look back and know that I *did* learn my lessons. They just didn't come from any classroom. I learned them through my experience of *not* achieving, and *not* relating. I learned them through my life, and I'm not sorry for that. But I am terribly tired.

Prognosis doesn't worry me, only that I do what feels right to do before I die. With my cancer, I could live years. Heavens above if I were to live as long as some of my fellow peritoneal cancer sufferers have managed to do (with the help of ongoing chemo, surgery etc interspaced with periods of remission). I don't *want* that. I'm not pushing it. Will do all that the oncologist requires, but I dont' want that.

I just want to tidy shop, leave my affairs and my house in a manner that family can find what they need easily.

I'm not dying today, or tomorrow. It suits me to get my house in order first.

Prognosis for Dissociative Disorder: it may be for life. Maybe not, but sometimes - like having any chronic condition, we live with what we cannot change and incorporate it into our list of things to which we bring our strongest, most accepting heart. For me, therein lies the lesson, and nothing is more important to me than learning.

amastie

---------- Post added at 04:18 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:42 AM ----------

Off topic, mentioned only because I see it in here:

Robyn, like your signature very much:

"I've gone out to find myself. If I should arrive before I get back, please ask me to wait "

Recalls for me a signature of a person with whom I shared in a dissociative disorders forum elsewhere. Over a picture of someone holidaying on a beautiful beach:

"Having a wonderful time. Wish I were here."

Never forgot that.

- amastie