Racing to Wellness
By Melissa Churly
Schizophrenia Magazine
Long before he made it to the starting lineup, Chris Reynolds felt anxious. He had been training for months, spending every spare minute on his bike getting ready for this day. Even though he was a nervous wreck, Reynolds was determined to make it through.
This wasn’t his first time in a race, but he didn’t want things to turn out the way they had in the past. “In my first race I was very anxious and scared about riding in a group, so I only lasted about half an hour,” recalls the 25-year-old Vancouver cyclist. His other attempts had turned out much the same.
With his focus in high gear, Reynolds began the race. It wasn’t easy, the conditions were rough and soon his breath began to quicken. But Reynolds was used to the hard work. He moved past his anxiety, forgot his fears, and in a streak of color and a gust of wind the race was over.
Reynolds had won.
“It was really an amazing moment because it showed that I could handle the whole race and not just handle it, but also win it.”
Winning that first time was more than just an athletic achievement for Reynolds, it was a victory over mental illness.
The black hole
At just 12 years old, Reynolds began to spiral into deep psychosis. He had suffered a head injury during a school basketball practice, which led to severe headaches and triggered anxiety attacks, hallucinations, depression, sleep disorders, and paranoia. “I remember thinking that the TV was talking to me and that people could read my thoughts,” he says. He had to leave school because he didn’t have any energy and had trouble functioning socially. He was put on a variety of medications, but nothing seemed to help. “It was very emotional,” says his father, Jim Reynolds. “His personality changed, he was out of school, falling behind academically and falling behind socially.”
His teachers passed him in grade eight so he could be with his classmates when he started grade nine. But come September, two weeks of high school was all he could handle. Instead, Reynolds says, he lived in his basement in a mostly psychotic state, leaving only to visit doctors and therapists. At 15, he attempted grade nine again at a different school, but it proved too much and he had to drop out after only one week. Attempts were made at home schooling and he even attended a school for children with disabilities, but mostly his high school years were a ‘write-off’ he says.
When he was 18, Reynolds was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and the new medications he was prescribed made a lot of his symptoms go away.
“My high school years are like a big black hole to me,” he says. “I don’t remember a lot of what happened because it was a very difficult time.”
A wild ride
One thing he does remember quite clearly though, is the day his father brought home a shiny new mountain bike. “I was quite sick, but I remember how nice it was. It was one of those expensive ones; I think he must have spent about $1,000 on it.”
“One of the psychologists said that maybe he should take up mountain biking, which frankly I didn’t think was such a bright idea given the physical dangers associated with it. But it did in fact get Chris out quite a bit,” says his father.
Reynolds remembers riding that bike on even his darkest days. “I worked through my illness on those rides and I learned some cool tricks along the way.”
Today, he is riding a different bike, but it’s helping in the same way.
After sitting down with his psychologist and setting some goals for the future, Reynolds decided he wanted to go to university and join a cycling club. Initially he gave up biking in order to focus on school. Now that he could concentrate again, he took his high school courses through an adult education program where he breezed through his studies, even managing to score 100 percent on several of his exams.
A new beginning
A year later he took up biking again, but this time he turned to road biking and joined the CVC (Central Vancouver Cycling) Racing Club. Being in this club was an important opportunity for Reynolds, as it allowed him to create friendships and a social network that positively affected his recovery process.
“Although the medication and psychotherapy helped, I still had a lot of social anxiety, so joining the club was a way for me to meet people and gain the skills I needed, while also being active. It helped fill in the gaps; it was a way of making up all those years I had lost.”
Reynolds didn’t know anything about road racing at first and it showed. His mountain biking days were far behind him, so he had to start fresh. Robert Thompson, club director of CVC Racing says Reynolds was quite ‘green’ when he joined. “I believe the first time I met him, it was at a club race and I believe he crashed into one of his new teammates. They both got a couple of minor bumps and bruises but that just shows how fresh he was on a bicycle, let alone racing a bicycle at that time.”
But Reynolds didn’t let his lack of experience or his small failures stop him from continuing. He trained hard and he raced hard. During the peak season, he and his team would train for upwards of 20 hours per week to prepare for racing. Eventually he started to see results.
“Chris’s training methodology, his diet, and his focus is second to none I’ve seen in somebody that young who is not doing this as an amateur or as a professional athlete,” says Thompson.
“I don’t watch TV or stay out late on Friday night,” says Reynolds. “I am quite focused and I work really hard at what I do.”
Dreaming big
Over the next several years, Reynolds advanced in his cycling and is now an elite cyclist. “I’ve seen him go from somebody crashing in his first race to somebody now that nobody can keep up with,” says Thompson.
During this time, Reynolds also managed to achieve his goal of going to university. Cycling not only helped with his social anxiety, but it also helped in other ways as well. His ability to stay focused, to perform under pressure, and to endure through the rough spots has come in handy when dealing with school. The excellent grades he received in adult education also made it more attainable. He is currently attending the University of British Columbia where he is studying psychology and one day hopes to combine his love of sport with his dream of helping others who struggle with mental illness.
“I want to work in the mental health industry some day and maybe combine exercise with rehabilitation,” he says. “Exercise is so important to maintaining good mental health. This is something that I have learned and I want to share it with others.”
Over a year ago he joined a new team made up of other elite cyclists, the Campione-Ratcliff Racing Team. Most races take place in British Columbia and the Pacific Northwest region of the United States, but there are a few other national and international races that they also participate in.
“The training is quite intense,” says team coach Scott Laliberte. “Most guys are training about 15 hours per week—sometimes a little more—and our races last anywhere from a really intense hour up to four hours.”
To prepare for his races, Reynolds says it takes time management. “I have to make sure I get in a gym workout, do some cross training, group rides, and I have a cycling program that is put together by my coach. So it’s a lot of time on my bike and I really only take breaks around examination time at school.”
He also works hard to manage his illness. “I make sure I take my medication, stick to my diet, and if a problem occurs I try to deal with it right away.”
One of his teammates, Sara Laliberte, is amazed at how far he has come. “How does this kid compete competitively, do school, manage his illness, do everything he’s doing, and still function? Racing at an elite level is a tough thing to deal with without all the other issues involved. To me it’s just incredible that he can race like he does.”
Doing his part
Reynolds has had so much success with his bike that he is now using it to help others suffering with mental illness. He has encouraged his Campione-Ratcliff teammates to ride in support of the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA). They wear jerseys displaying the CMHA logo, they have helped set up information booths about mental health and stigma at races, and some riders even donate their race winnings to the cause.
“There are quite a lot of events for illnesses like cancer and diabetes, but not a lot for mental illness,” he says. “We suffer just as much as people with cancer but don’t get as much support.”
Reynolds hopes his efforts and those of his friends and teammates will help reduce the stigma of mental illness and promote good mental and physical health in the community.
The Campione-Ratcliff Racing Team, CVC Racing and the Vancouver-Burnaby branch of the CMHA are planning a community bike ride for this summer to help raise awareness and promote good mental health. “The Wheels for Wellness bike ride is a way for the community to come out and support our neighbours and be part of the change,” says Rebecca Shields, executive director of the Vancouver-Burnaby branch of CMHA. She says they are planning the event for Sunday, August 31, 2009 and are encouraging cyclists of all ages and levels to join in the fun.
Reynolds really enjoys cycling and racing, but his motivation these days is seeing the charity ride come to fruition and be successful. “My life’s mission is to help people with mental illness in any way I can. So far racing is a way for me to do that. We have put a lot of time and effort into planning this event and I really want to see the charity ride work out and become an annual event.”
Thompson, who is also involved in the planning of the charity ride, says they hope to register about 1,000 participants at an average of a $100 donation per person. “We are hoping to see some success in dollars, but ultimately our goal is to have an awareness impact on the community. We want to knock down the stigmas and set an example by showing that we don’t hold up barriers against people with such disabilities and we have no problem talking about it.”
Leading by example
Reynolds is already having an impact on those closest to him. “I’ve become more knowledgeable through Chris on what some of the challenges are with mental health. I have also picked up a lot of literature and just through talking to Chris I have learned so much,” says Thompson.
Like most people with mental illness, Reynolds has suffered from stigma. He has had incidents with other cyclists and even with someone at his gym, which made him shy and paranoid when telling people about his illness. “Because I had a lot of social anxiety, these incidents set off my paranoia and it was really hard to deal with,” he says.
Today things are much different. Reynolds is more confident and isn’t scared about what people will think. “It’s different now. I’m much more comfortable telling people about it. It’s only a diagnosis, a label. It isn’t who I really am,” he says. “It is so important to fight against the historical stigma that is out there.”
Even his friends have noticed a difference. “When Chris first told me about his diagnosis, he was very shy about it,” says Scott Laliberte. “Lately the way he informs people has changed dramatically. He’s no longer shy about it and he doesn’t hide it. He’s much more open.”
Shields says the best way to combat the stigma of mental illness is for people to just be open about their experiences. “Sharing his personal story is the best thing to do. Chris is changing minds and inspiring people to make a difference. The more people who talk about it, the less stigma there will be.”
Speaking about his mental illness and the stigma he has endured is inspiring his friend Thompson to make a difference. “Chris is such a pleasure to be around and such a giving individual with his time and with his efforts. If he didn’t come forward about his condition I probably wouldn’t have been aware of it at all. I guess that ties into the stigmas we have against mental illness. These are people we interact with all day every day and you may not even be aware of it. And when people do become aware of it all of a sudden their attitudes change. This is one thing that has hit me the most. It’s the one thing that I really want to have a shot at changing. Without meeting Chris I wouldn’t have that opportunity. I really thank him for that,” says Thompson.
Even Reynolds’ father has been inspired to get involved. He served for a number of years as a board member and president of the Vancouver-Burnaby branch of CMHA.
For Sara Laliberte, hearing Reynolds speak about his battle with schizoaffective disorder has made her more open about her own struggles with depression. “Before meeting Chris I would never tell anyone about my depression, it was embarrassing to me. Here he was dealing with something 10 times worse than what I had dealt with and he’s talking about it and he’s not ashamed of it. I really admire that. Because of him I don’t avoid telling people about my depression anymore.”
Overcoming barriers
Through his success in cycling, in school, and in helping others, Reynolds is proof that mental illness is not a barrier to achieving one’s goals and dreams. “Christopher has applied himself both academically and in terms of sports, has overcome a great deal and is now doing very well, which is difficult enough without the additional challenges he faces because of his illness. It is very encouraging,” says his father.
Reynolds still has a long journey of recovery ahead of him but he doesn’t shy away from hard work, he races towards it. “Working hard is really important. I have never given up, I just keep going and that is the best advice that I can give anyone who is dealing with mental illness,” he says.
For Chris Reynolds, getting involved in cycling and building relationships with his teammates has had an enormous impact on his recovery and management of schizoaffective disorder. “Cycling is a lot of hard work but it is really enjoyable. It got me out there and it got my life back.”
Melissa Churly is a freelance print journalist and recent graduate of Ryerson University. She is based in Mississauga, Ontario
By Melissa Churly
Schizophrenia Magazine
Long before he made it to the starting lineup, Chris Reynolds felt anxious. He had been training for months, spending every spare minute on his bike getting ready for this day. Even though he was a nervous wreck, Reynolds was determined to make it through.
This wasn’t his first time in a race, but he didn’t want things to turn out the way they had in the past. “In my first race I was very anxious and scared about riding in a group, so I only lasted about half an hour,” recalls the 25-year-old Vancouver cyclist. His other attempts had turned out much the same.
With his focus in high gear, Reynolds began the race. It wasn’t easy, the conditions were rough and soon his breath began to quicken. But Reynolds was used to the hard work. He moved past his anxiety, forgot his fears, and in a streak of color and a gust of wind the race was over.
Reynolds had won.
“It was really an amazing moment because it showed that I could handle the whole race and not just handle it, but also win it.”
Winning that first time was more than just an athletic achievement for Reynolds, it was a victory over mental illness.
The black hole
At just 12 years old, Reynolds began to spiral into deep psychosis. He had suffered a head injury during a school basketball practice, which led to severe headaches and triggered anxiety attacks, hallucinations, depression, sleep disorders, and paranoia. “I remember thinking that the TV was talking to me and that people could read my thoughts,” he says. He had to leave school because he didn’t have any energy and had trouble functioning socially. He was put on a variety of medications, but nothing seemed to help. “It was very emotional,” says his father, Jim Reynolds. “His personality changed, he was out of school, falling behind academically and falling behind socially.”
His teachers passed him in grade eight so he could be with his classmates when he started grade nine. But come September, two weeks of high school was all he could handle. Instead, Reynolds says, he lived in his basement in a mostly psychotic state, leaving only to visit doctors and therapists. At 15, he attempted grade nine again at a different school, but it proved too much and he had to drop out after only one week. Attempts were made at home schooling and he even attended a school for children with disabilities, but mostly his high school years were a ‘write-off’ he says.
When he was 18, Reynolds was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and the new medications he was prescribed made a lot of his symptoms go away.
“My high school years are like a big black hole to me,” he says. “I don’t remember a lot of what happened because it was a very difficult time.”
A wild ride
One thing he does remember quite clearly though, is the day his father brought home a shiny new mountain bike. “I was quite sick, but I remember how nice it was. It was one of those expensive ones; I think he must have spent about $1,000 on it.”
“One of the psychologists said that maybe he should take up mountain biking, which frankly I didn’t think was such a bright idea given the physical dangers associated with it. But it did in fact get Chris out quite a bit,” says his father.
Reynolds remembers riding that bike on even his darkest days. “I worked through my illness on those rides and I learned some cool tricks along the way.”
Today, he is riding a different bike, but it’s helping in the same way.
After sitting down with his psychologist and setting some goals for the future, Reynolds decided he wanted to go to university and join a cycling club. Initially he gave up biking in order to focus on school. Now that he could concentrate again, he took his high school courses through an adult education program where he breezed through his studies, even managing to score 100 percent on several of his exams.
A new beginning
A year later he took up biking again, but this time he turned to road biking and joined the CVC (Central Vancouver Cycling) Racing Club. Being in this club was an important opportunity for Reynolds, as it allowed him to create friendships and a social network that positively affected his recovery process.
“Although the medication and psychotherapy helped, I still had a lot of social anxiety, so joining the club was a way for me to meet people and gain the skills I needed, while also being active. It helped fill in the gaps; it was a way of making up all those years I had lost.”
Reynolds didn’t know anything about road racing at first and it showed. His mountain biking days were far behind him, so he had to start fresh. Robert Thompson, club director of CVC Racing says Reynolds was quite ‘green’ when he joined. “I believe the first time I met him, it was at a club race and I believe he crashed into one of his new teammates. They both got a couple of minor bumps and bruises but that just shows how fresh he was on a bicycle, let alone racing a bicycle at that time.”
But Reynolds didn’t let his lack of experience or his small failures stop him from continuing. He trained hard and he raced hard. During the peak season, he and his team would train for upwards of 20 hours per week to prepare for racing. Eventually he started to see results.
“Chris’s training methodology, his diet, and his focus is second to none I’ve seen in somebody that young who is not doing this as an amateur or as a professional athlete,” says Thompson.
“I don’t watch TV or stay out late on Friday night,” says Reynolds. “I am quite focused and I work really hard at what I do.”
Dreaming big
Over the next several years, Reynolds advanced in his cycling and is now an elite cyclist. “I’ve seen him go from somebody crashing in his first race to somebody now that nobody can keep up with,” says Thompson.
During this time, Reynolds also managed to achieve his goal of going to university. Cycling not only helped with his social anxiety, but it also helped in other ways as well. His ability to stay focused, to perform under pressure, and to endure through the rough spots has come in handy when dealing with school. The excellent grades he received in adult education also made it more attainable. He is currently attending the University of British Columbia where he is studying psychology and one day hopes to combine his love of sport with his dream of helping others who struggle with mental illness.
“I want to work in the mental health industry some day and maybe combine exercise with rehabilitation,” he says. “Exercise is so important to maintaining good mental health. This is something that I have learned and I want to share it with others.”
Over a year ago he joined a new team made up of other elite cyclists, the Campione-Ratcliff Racing Team. Most races take place in British Columbia and the Pacific Northwest region of the United States, but there are a few other national and international races that they also participate in.
“The training is quite intense,” says team coach Scott Laliberte. “Most guys are training about 15 hours per week—sometimes a little more—and our races last anywhere from a really intense hour up to four hours.”
To prepare for his races, Reynolds says it takes time management. “I have to make sure I get in a gym workout, do some cross training, group rides, and I have a cycling program that is put together by my coach. So it’s a lot of time on my bike and I really only take breaks around examination time at school.”
He also works hard to manage his illness. “I make sure I take my medication, stick to my diet, and if a problem occurs I try to deal with it right away.”
One of his teammates, Sara Laliberte, is amazed at how far he has come. “How does this kid compete competitively, do school, manage his illness, do everything he’s doing, and still function? Racing at an elite level is a tough thing to deal with without all the other issues involved. To me it’s just incredible that he can race like he does.”
Doing his part
Reynolds has had so much success with his bike that he is now using it to help others suffering with mental illness. He has encouraged his Campione-Ratcliff teammates to ride in support of the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA). They wear jerseys displaying the CMHA logo, they have helped set up information booths about mental health and stigma at races, and some riders even donate their race winnings to the cause.
“There are quite a lot of events for illnesses like cancer and diabetes, but not a lot for mental illness,” he says. “We suffer just as much as people with cancer but don’t get as much support.”
Reynolds hopes his efforts and those of his friends and teammates will help reduce the stigma of mental illness and promote good mental and physical health in the community.
The Campione-Ratcliff Racing Team, CVC Racing and the Vancouver-Burnaby branch of the CMHA are planning a community bike ride for this summer to help raise awareness and promote good mental health. “The Wheels for Wellness bike ride is a way for the community to come out and support our neighbours and be part of the change,” says Rebecca Shields, executive director of the Vancouver-Burnaby branch of CMHA. She says they are planning the event for Sunday, August 31, 2009 and are encouraging cyclists of all ages and levels to join in the fun.
Reynolds really enjoys cycling and racing, but his motivation these days is seeing the charity ride come to fruition and be successful. “My life’s mission is to help people with mental illness in any way I can. So far racing is a way for me to do that. We have put a lot of time and effort into planning this event and I really want to see the charity ride work out and become an annual event.”
Thompson, who is also involved in the planning of the charity ride, says they hope to register about 1,000 participants at an average of a $100 donation per person. “We are hoping to see some success in dollars, but ultimately our goal is to have an awareness impact on the community. We want to knock down the stigmas and set an example by showing that we don’t hold up barriers against people with such disabilities and we have no problem talking about it.”
Leading by example
Reynolds is already having an impact on those closest to him. “I’ve become more knowledgeable through Chris on what some of the challenges are with mental health. I have also picked up a lot of literature and just through talking to Chris I have learned so much,” says Thompson.
Like most people with mental illness, Reynolds has suffered from stigma. He has had incidents with other cyclists and even with someone at his gym, which made him shy and paranoid when telling people about his illness. “Because I had a lot of social anxiety, these incidents set off my paranoia and it was really hard to deal with,” he says.
Today things are much different. Reynolds is more confident and isn’t scared about what people will think. “It’s different now. I’m much more comfortable telling people about it. It’s only a diagnosis, a label. It isn’t who I really am,” he says. “It is so important to fight against the historical stigma that is out there.”
Even his friends have noticed a difference. “When Chris first told me about his diagnosis, he was very shy about it,” says Scott Laliberte. “Lately the way he informs people has changed dramatically. He’s no longer shy about it and he doesn’t hide it. He’s much more open.”
Shields says the best way to combat the stigma of mental illness is for people to just be open about their experiences. “Sharing his personal story is the best thing to do. Chris is changing minds and inspiring people to make a difference. The more people who talk about it, the less stigma there will be.”
Speaking about his mental illness and the stigma he has endured is inspiring his friend Thompson to make a difference. “Chris is such a pleasure to be around and such a giving individual with his time and with his efforts. If he didn’t come forward about his condition I probably wouldn’t have been aware of it at all. I guess that ties into the stigmas we have against mental illness. These are people we interact with all day every day and you may not even be aware of it. And when people do become aware of it all of a sudden their attitudes change. This is one thing that has hit me the most. It’s the one thing that I really want to have a shot at changing. Without meeting Chris I wouldn’t have that opportunity. I really thank him for that,” says Thompson.
Even Reynolds’ father has been inspired to get involved. He served for a number of years as a board member and president of the Vancouver-Burnaby branch of CMHA.
For Sara Laliberte, hearing Reynolds speak about his battle with schizoaffective disorder has made her more open about her own struggles with depression. “Before meeting Chris I would never tell anyone about my depression, it was embarrassing to me. Here he was dealing with something 10 times worse than what I had dealt with and he’s talking about it and he’s not ashamed of it. I really admire that. Because of him I don’t avoid telling people about my depression anymore.”
Overcoming barriers
Through his success in cycling, in school, and in helping others, Reynolds is proof that mental illness is not a barrier to achieving one’s goals and dreams. “Christopher has applied himself both academically and in terms of sports, has overcome a great deal and is now doing very well, which is difficult enough without the additional challenges he faces because of his illness. It is very encouraging,” says his father.
Reynolds still has a long journey of recovery ahead of him but he doesn’t shy away from hard work, he races towards it. “Working hard is really important. I have never given up, I just keep going and that is the best advice that I can give anyone who is dealing with mental illness,” he says.
For Chris Reynolds, getting involved in cycling and building relationships with his teammates has had an enormous impact on his recovery and management of schizoaffective disorder. “Cycling is a lot of hard work but it is really enjoyable. It got me out there and it got my life back.”
Melissa Churly is a freelance print journalist and recent graduate of Ryerson University. She is based in Mississauga, Ontario
