More threads by lallieth


Relish solitude
by Jennifer Gruden,

Booking time just for you can be a source of energy and delight. Here are some ways to revel in time alone.

In our fast-paced, extroverted society we too often lose sight of the great joys of solitude. Living alone, taking a vacation alone, or simply booking time to "date yourself" can be a source of energy and delight. Here are 10 ways to revel in time alone.

Make a mess
Around other people, we often feel that we must keep things in order so as not to inconvenience them. But even mess has its place: being able to spread out a collection of photos over the dining room table, pulling outfits out from the closet to contemplate new combinations of clothing, or leaving an art project on the kitchen counter without the pressure to tidy up every night can stir up creative ideas.

Play favourites
They're called guilty pleasures for a reason: other peoplesometimes make us feel guilty for enjoying the things we do! Being alone means space to indulge our tastes – even if they seem low-brow or odd. Stand over the sink and eat sardines on toast, read that cheap thriller, rent that sappy childhood favourite movie and let the dog up on the bed.

Delight the senses
Often our homes can be exercises in the fine art of negotiation: a spill-proof couch for the kids; no heavy scented candles for a sensitive partner. Alone, though, we're free to find out whether a silk curtain hung in the corner makes for a luxurious retreat or verbena blueberry candles really do add glamour to a lengthy bath.

Expand capabilities
Sometimes relying on a partner or family member can mean that we stop doing things ourselves, and over time we may begin to see some areas of expertise as "not mine." Being alone means having to tackle tasks head on and can be a time to discover that making a pie crust is not as mysterious a talent as it seems to be.

Get lost
On the other side of the coin, around others we sometimes feel that we need to have answers or not waste time. Alone, we can take the time to wander down the garden path – get lost in an unfamiliar part of town, or blunder through a project only to discard it at the end. Sometimes it really isn't about the destination, but enjoying the journey, and it can be fun to wander without someone asking "are we there yet?"

Priorities rule
In the press of family commitments, many of us end up putting ourselves and our own goals last. Time alone can provide space to rediscover the spark of a private dream – and take steps to make it happen. Research and enroll in that class, pen that memoir, or get looking for that old sports car to tinker around on.

People you wouldn't meet
Out with friends or family, we often don't reach out to strangers or stop to chat with neighbours. Some travellers have even found that travelling alone is the best way to learn a culture, because they're much more likely to talk with locals if they don't have a ready-made companion. Venturing out alone can lead to surprising new relationships.

Feel the beat
Living at your own pace and finding your natural body rhythm can boost energy and make you much more efficient than you are when you're negotiating other people's schedules. Enjoy meals at times you're actually hungry, bedtime when you're tired, and getting chores or creative work done at odd times in the morning.

Choose a shortcut
Families can come to expect homemade shepherd's pie or handy repairs from your shop. But on your own you can take the time to evaluate whether it's really something in which you want to invest your time. Go ahead and hire that gardener, or pick up dinner from the ready-made section of the grocery store – no one's going to complain!

Time to meditate
Religions, psychologists,and self-help resources often agree that time to centre – whether through relaxation, prayer, or simple thoughtfulness – can lead to a healthier, more meaningful life. Solitude can provide the space to get in touch with that inner voice and vision that leads us to true appreciation of each day.


I'm feeling the beat yay! My time screwed like hell that I sometimes eat 2 times a day, 3 times, or 4 times.. I sleep whenever I like, morning, afternoon, night.. and how much I like from 2 hours to 24hours!

And I'm always messy!
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