See the Stars

[David Baxter PhD]

See the Stars
Blogging Behavioral
February 16, 2012


When it gets dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Charles A. Beard

It may come as a surprise to few that many people present for therapy during the darkest of times. New patients may feel powerless to change their circumstances, hopeless to overcome their problems. We clinicians like to point out that, through therapy, people often gain the tools necessary to first cope and then to feel stronger, maybe stronger than ever, and then ultimately to overcome the difficult obstacles they face.

It can help to believe that dark points in our lives may be fulcrum moments, the very point at which we gain the help we need to make substantial life changes. To find the power within ourselves to take action and change.

It would be foolish to suggest that we should look forward to low moods and hardship. But it is worthy to suggest that when they arrive we can learn to accept them as temporary turning points. Maybe even necessary turning points. To embrace the potential adversity presents. As an end to stagnation. The pivotal shift we need to grow. Stronger. To learn. To succeed. To flourish.

As this quote suggests, we can learn to look beyond the clouds. Look into that darkness. Look for the stars. We might just find an incredible, life fulfilling opportunity.

 

[Cat Dancer]

I think it's taking me too long to "get it" in therapy. My poor therapist repeats and repeats and repeats things over and over and I get it when I'm there with him and a little outside of therapy, but it kind of poofs away or I let it poof away. I am so slow. Why am I not taking the opportunity (therapy) that has been given me and running with it and making the most of it? What is wrong with a person like that?

 

[Daniel E.]

Why am I not taking the opportunity (therapy) that has been given me and running with it and making the most of it?

There are whole books on the subject of "resistance" in therapy, e.g.

Overcoming Resistance in Cognitive Therapy - Robert L. Leahy - Google Books

Roadblocks in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: Transforming Challenges into Opportunities for Change

Regarding OCD: http://forum.psychlinks.ca/obsessiv...ocd/24452-why-some-dont-recover-from-ocd.html

---------- Post added at 09:44 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:25 PM ----------

Resistant Clients

To fully understand resistance, the many positive benefits of resistance need to be examined. Resistance has a purpose; otherwise, it would not exist. When we understand the many benefits of resistance, we begin to realize that it is just as essential to mental health as it is a problem in therapy. The following purposes and benefits of resistance are compiled from the writings of Anderson and Steward.

• Without resistance, all social systems would dissolve into chaos and confusion, changing with every new idea presented.
• Resistance is what prevents us from buying every product presented to us in commercials and infomercials.
• Without a certain amount of resistance, we would have no stability, predictability, security, or comfort.
• Resistance provides us with a sense of being right. Can there be a sense of right and wrong without an awareness of the opposition of one position against another, or without a resistance to certain positions?
• Resistance can be a sign of good mental health and judgment; people often want new alternatives to problems before giving up old ways.
• Understanding resistance—including its possible positive purposes—and knowing effective means for dealing with resistance is not merely intellectual enrichment. This knowledge can reduce therapist stress and burnout.
• Resistance in therapy is a natural, necessary part of every client's problem. It is neither good nor bad, and the effective therapist neither abandons, rescues, nor attacks clients because of their resistance.
• Resistance is the problem at hand. Many clients are ambivalent about change, and the decisions they make are typically not clear-cut—that's why they have come to therapy.
• People resist difficult change because of the underlying conflicts. The therapist's job is to provide an environment where internal conflicts can be addressed.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

There's no time limit or schedule in therapy, CD. Sometimes you have to hear things and think about them several times before it sinks in.

 

[Cat Dancer]

I think some of it has to do with issues that come up in the NOW and not past stuff.

It's good to know that resistance isn't always a bad thing.

 

[forgetmenot]

I like that statement because it is true it is on the darkest nights one can see the stars come out. i guess one just has to be patient long enough in order to see them Even in darkness there can be some hope right.

 

[Daniel E.]

Feel Like a Lost Soul? Taking Steps to Find Yourself Again

If you step back for a moment and gently revisit some of the painful (and perhaps formative) times you’ve weathered, what did you take from them?

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• 
  [*=left]What learnings did you draw from the experience?
  
  [*=left] What did the pain uncover about what’s fundamental for you?
  
  [*=left] Or what you want to make more time for in your life?
  
  [*=left] Or what’s strong about you?
  
  [*=left] Or what you want to avoid next time?
  
  [*=left] Or where you feel the pulse of life?Sometimes, if you’re feeling lost, working with a therapist can help you explore all of this – to follow the steps you’ve taken in your life until you find yourself again.
  

And sometimes, maybe it’s enough to consult your own therapist within…
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