Self Concept/Identity

[Mark Shaw]

For so many years i have looked at the world and myself through the eyes of a paranoid, insecure, unsure, confused, angry, frustrated boy/man. Only within the last year through the help of Counselling and giving up drugs have i been able to start taking a look at who i really am. The trouble is when i sit down to try and think my head is still filled with negative valuing of situations experienced by myself where i have felt hurt. I have thought like this for so many years that i cannot always turn the thoughts off and this is why i struggle to see a clear path ahead and who i am. I know i am a 31 year old man with a career path, family, friends, hobbies etc, but when it comes to opinions, relaxing, understanding my life structure or thinking about improving what i have then i come unstuck. So i wonder where is my self concept or ID.

 

[ladylore]

Hi Mark,

Welcome to the forum May I ask how long you have been clean? I have been clean a little over a year and it has taken that long for many things to change.

I know i am a 31 year old man with a career path, family, friends, hobbies etc,

I'd say you actually are ahead of the game because a solid support system is one of the keys to changing some of those perceptions. This is a process however and I have done alot of work with a great therapist. If you are not already in therapy you may want to consider it. Mine is through a Daytox centre and they deal with many of the issues that you are talking about as many people who are getting clean deal with the same stuff.

Welcome again
Ladylore

 

[David Baxter PhD]

There are a couple of self-help exercises that you may find helpful and/or interesting:

Insight into Self-Concept

Insight into Feelings

 

[ThatLady]

It's going to take time, Mark, to break the habit of negative thinking. Counselling, being clean, and using the excellent support system you've got going for you will be useful tools for you. Still, in the end, so much of it is about time ... and patience. :hug:

 

[Mark Shaw]

I have not had any drugs since the weekend Glastonbury was on this year, i was smoking dope every day for sixteen years with a few days off here and there. Have also laid off cocaine all but twice this year, last time was over four months ago.

It's funny how things affect people differently and shows how individual we are, don't know what Eysenck would say about that though.

I also believe that having a good foundation along with patience and time is very important and value these assets a lot, but sometimes wish that things could just change there and then. I know that this will not happen straight away though as it's taken me 31 years to get where i am, so i will maybe take a few more to see things differently.

Also i have been seeing a Psychodynamic Counselor for 18 months now,i have noticed changes in my outlook and learned a lot from this process in terms of human development and how societies pressures influence it.

Thanx for the help everyone.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I have not had any drugs since the weekend Glastonbury was on this year

How long ago was that? I have no idea what Glastonbury is.

 

[braveheart]

It's a UK pop festival thing.
It was a month or so ago, I think.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

OK. That's not very long ago, especially if prior to that you were a heavy multi-drug abuser.

 

[Mark Shaw]

Glastonbury was on the 27th, 28th and 29th of June this year, so it's been 10 weeks. It's not so long ago when i think about it, but for some reason i know my relationship with drugs is over.

I realised that about 30% of the high was great but 70% percent was not nice. Sometimes i cannot believe it took me so long to understand this.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I'm not disputing your commitment, Mark. I'm simply pointing out that it can take some time to recover from the effects of substance abuse.