There is a short term relief for me when depression seems overwhelming. I visit the childrens section of the cemetery. I see the dinky toys, blankets, stuffed animals, precious toys, etc. There are graves with the leaves brushed aside to reveal the tender age of the child. Flowers in their final stage of life echo the colours they had. The rustle of the leaves in the wind, and squirrels digging up bulbs are the only sounds other than my crying.
My tears are for the self pity I feel, which is ok, but to add to them are the thoughts of anguish the parents of these innocent children must feel. When I see the decorated, beautifully tended graves I cry harder. All I have to see is a weather beaten teddy bear to bring this on. There was so much potential beneath my feet, now gone. One marker says ?Tread softly, for here lies and Angel? There seems to be no end to my tears. Whatever love or angst these parents feel, is beyond me to understand. There can be no deeper feelings sensed by anyone.
I continue to cry, and look about. I feel selfish, and that?s ok too. Because of where I am, I know that whatever forces cause me to be here in this childrens cemetery, they are linked to something deep inside that allows me to know that I am a good person, and crying is ok too.
Distant wind chimes bring me back to reality. I leave this place behind, and feeling numb, I forget about my pain for a while.
My tears are for the self pity I feel, which is ok, but to add to them are the thoughts of anguish the parents of these innocent children must feel. When I see the decorated, beautifully tended graves I cry harder. All I have to see is a weather beaten teddy bear to bring this on. There was so much potential beneath my feet, now gone. One marker says ?Tread softly, for here lies and Angel? There seems to be no end to my tears. Whatever love or angst these parents feel, is beyond me to understand. There can be no deeper feelings sensed by anyone.
I continue to cry, and look about. I feel selfish, and that?s ok too. Because of where I am, I know that whatever forces cause me to be here in this childrens cemetery, they are linked to something deep inside that allows me to know that I am a good person, and crying is ok too.
Distant wind chimes bring me back to reality. I leave this place behind, and feeling numb, I forget about my pain for a while.
