Tempered Tense
Member
**(this involves abuse, and might have some triggers)**
Sometimes I feel like I am being ganged up on. My partner is abusive (physically and emotionally), has been, and continues to be, and it seems since we started counseling together (the therapist comes to our house weekly), he has gotten worse. He has always been like a Jeckyl and Hyde, but it seems like Hyde is here to stay now. I feel like I am tip-toeing around him, apologizing constantly, and asking permission to do things. He gets annoyed with this, but I do it as a means of preventing future conflicts since he is like a walking time bomb and can blow up at anytime over anything (he often assumes that I am deliberately doing things to annoy him and becomes explosive).
As far as the counselor is concerned, during an individual session, I alluded to the fact that he is abusive and left it at that. I said there were a few "incidents" that occurred, but didn't go into detail, and the therapist acted like he understood but didn't question any further. After this, he goes on to point out in practically every session that I should touch him more, pat his shoulder, make some sort of physical contact (my partner's complaint is my OCD and that I can't get physical with him and have taken to avoiding ANY physical contact with him, which is true), it gets worse as time goes on.
I simply don't understand why the therapist is able to focus on my shortcomings and flaws, but not my partner's. I am constantly admitting and apologizing for where I go wrong, and I have gone wrong many times, made a lot of stupid decisions, but my partner takes absolutely no responsibility for his actions; he blames me for his flare ups, and the therapist says it's because he's passionate and he feels like I am not returning his love. Well, there was a time when I was genuinely able to, but that time has passed, and I am trying to work out our issues to revive any potential spark or hidden feelings, but it doesn't seem that this therapist is helping. He never scratches the surface of our problems, or mine, and talks through a good portion of the sessions. We've been at this for several weeks now, and arguments are increasing, and things are getting worse. Should I give it a chance or start looking for another counselor?
Also, as far as leaving, unfortunately, I couldn't even begin to afford my own place. Everything I had or have has gone into this apartment and our living expenses, and I don't even drive, or know anyone in this state. My family can't help either. And I figure staying here and working things out is better than uprooting and dragging my daughter to a shelter in a bad neighborhood, and getting her father involved (who could take her from me at that point.)
Sometimes I feel like I am being ganged up on. My partner is abusive (physically and emotionally), has been, and continues to be, and it seems since we started counseling together (the therapist comes to our house weekly), he has gotten worse. He has always been like a Jeckyl and Hyde, but it seems like Hyde is here to stay now. I feel like I am tip-toeing around him, apologizing constantly, and asking permission to do things. He gets annoyed with this, but I do it as a means of preventing future conflicts since he is like a walking time bomb and can blow up at anytime over anything (he often assumes that I am deliberately doing things to annoy him and becomes explosive).
As far as the counselor is concerned, during an individual session, I alluded to the fact that he is abusive and left it at that. I said there were a few "incidents" that occurred, but didn't go into detail, and the therapist acted like he understood but didn't question any further. After this, he goes on to point out in practically every session that I should touch him more, pat his shoulder, make some sort of physical contact (my partner's complaint is my OCD and that I can't get physical with him and have taken to avoiding ANY physical contact with him, which is true), it gets worse as time goes on.
I simply don't understand why the therapist is able to focus on my shortcomings and flaws, but not my partner's. I am constantly admitting and apologizing for where I go wrong, and I have gone wrong many times, made a lot of stupid decisions, but my partner takes absolutely no responsibility for his actions; he blames me for his flare ups, and the therapist says it's because he's passionate and he feels like I am not returning his love. Well, there was a time when I was genuinely able to, but that time has passed, and I am trying to work out our issues to revive any potential spark or hidden feelings, but it doesn't seem that this therapist is helping. He never scratches the surface of our problems, or mine, and talks through a good portion of the sessions. We've been at this for several weeks now, and arguments are increasing, and things are getting worse. Should I give it a chance or start looking for another counselor?
Also, as far as leaving, unfortunately, I couldn't even begin to afford my own place. Everything I had or have has gone into this apartment and our living expenses, and I don't even drive, or know anyone in this state. My family can't help either. And I figure staying here and working things out is better than uprooting and dragging my daughter to a shelter in a bad neighborhood, and getting her father involved (who could take her from me at that point.)
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