marieduard
Member
Hi all
I need some urgent help!
I've been in a relationship with a guy for the past 7 years. He's handsome, gentle, humble, very nice and all. A very good catch.
At first, we used to have intercourse very often... However, after the first 3 years or so, I started not wanting to make love to him. I wasn't sure why. Was I not getting enough pleasure? We did it anywhere (backseat... wherever), and sometimes we got caugh.. did I get afraid of being caught? Another time my period was delayed and I was afraid I was pregant.. could it be it? I got scared and did not want it anymore?
Of course this was a terrible thing between us. When he approached, I stopped him... He became very sad, naturally. Eventually, he got used to the situation... nevertheless, he always tried to make love to me. Once in a while, he'd get really mad at me, saying he couldn't take it anymore. Is it possible for two people to love one another and not to have sex? Really?
I thought so for while...
I suffer from borderline personality disorder (or so the doctor diagnosed...), and a couple of years ago I had a major breakdown. My boyfriend didn't know about it, I tried to tell him about my issues, but he didn't quite listen.
I was very vulnerable and a co-worker got closer to me.. He became a close friend and, eventually, fell in love with me. I was astounded! I was not looking for that kind of relationship with him.. He was even married and 10 years older than me! I was shocked... but, stil.... it happened. We kissed and we had a little kind of affair. I never thought I would cheat on my boyfriend, I believe in loyalty.. it just happened. I was very suicidal and depressed and I guess I needed someone to stand by me...
Eitherway, I never told my boyfriend about this. Should I?
Our relationship moved on (and I stopped dating the co-worker)... We were stable once again.. but, no sex. About a year and a half ago, he went to work abroad.. So now we only see each other a few days about every 3 months.. less chances of sex. However it happened about once or twice per year in average.. last time was past october.
A few months ago another co-worker and I got really fond of each other.. He began thinking of me in a certain way, but he was in a relationship too. He was even living together with his girlfriend for 3 years. One day, we had a moment of affection and that really changed us... He broke up with his girlfriend, because he said he had felt with me something much stronger than he ever did. I was commited not to have another affair... I couldn't let that happen! Not again! Yet... we kissed! But this time, I fell in love with him, trully... I love him. Yes, we made love. Lots of times. I almost thought I didn't like sex anymore.. but with this guy... I had feelings I never had before.
Now he is in pain. My boyfriend is here and the other guy doesn't like (obviously) being the other. He's suffering a lot, because he doesn't believe I'll ever leave my current relationship inspite all of our feelings...
What shall I do? We've been a couple for 7 years.. Should I release him too so he may have a "normal with-sex" relationship? If I don't want to make love to him, what does it mean? Isn't he a man like any other, like my other guy? Why do I reject him when I tries to touch me? My other guy is even bald and phisically less fit (yeah... a bit fat), while by bf has blue eyes and is thin and athletic.. So, technically he sould be more attractive to me!
Should I break up with him? Would it be fear to continue this.. I don't deserve him anymore, I cheated him twice and made love to another man!
Also, how could I have lived with my consciousness doing this?! How could I have betrayed someone's trust and live with it? Should I tell my bf everything or should I save him the pain? Should I save our relationship or should I release us both?
I really care about by b/f and want him to be happy. I love him. Is it possible to love two guys at once? Or is not wanting sex with my bf a sign I don't truly love him?
Help me please...
I need some urgent help!
I've been in a relationship with a guy for the past 7 years. He's handsome, gentle, humble, very nice and all. A very good catch.
At first, we used to have intercourse very often... However, after the first 3 years or so, I started not wanting to make love to him. I wasn't sure why. Was I not getting enough pleasure? We did it anywhere (backseat... wherever), and sometimes we got caugh.. did I get afraid of being caught? Another time my period was delayed and I was afraid I was pregant.. could it be it? I got scared and did not want it anymore?
Of course this was a terrible thing between us. When he approached, I stopped him... He became very sad, naturally. Eventually, he got used to the situation... nevertheless, he always tried to make love to me. Once in a while, he'd get really mad at me, saying he couldn't take it anymore. Is it possible for two people to love one another and not to have sex? Really?
I thought so for while...
I suffer from borderline personality disorder (or so the doctor diagnosed...), and a couple of years ago I had a major breakdown. My boyfriend didn't know about it, I tried to tell him about my issues, but he didn't quite listen.
I was very vulnerable and a co-worker got closer to me.. He became a close friend and, eventually, fell in love with me. I was astounded! I was not looking for that kind of relationship with him.. He was even married and 10 years older than me! I was shocked... but, stil.... it happened. We kissed and we had a little kind of affair. I never thought I would cheat on my boyfriend, I believe in loyalty.. it just happened. I was very suicidal and depressed and I guess I needed someone to stand by me...
Eitherway, I never told my boyfriend about this. Should I?
Our relationship moved on (and I stopped dating the co-worker)... We were stable once again.. but, no sex. About a year and a half ago, he went to work abroad.. So now we only see each other a few days about every 3 months.. less chances of sex. However it happened about once or twice per year in average.. last time was past october.
A few months ago another co-worker and I got really fond of each other.. He began thinking of me in a certain way, but he was in a relationship too. He was even living together with his girlfriend for 3 years. One day, we had a moment of affection and that really changed us... He broke up with his girlfriend, because he said he had felt with me something much stronger than he ever did. I was commited not to have another affair... I couldn't let that happen! Not again! Yet... we kissed! But this time, I fell in love with him, trully... I love him. Yes, we made love. Lots of times. I almost thought I didn't like sex anymore.. but with this guy... I had feelings I never had before.
Now he is in pain. My boyfriend is here and the other guy doesn't like (obviously) being the other. He's suffering a lot, because he doesn't believe I'll ever leave my current relationship inspite all of our feelings...
What shall I do? We've been a couple for 7 years.. Should I release him too so he may have a "normal with-sex" relationship? If I don't want to make love to him, what does it mean? Isn't he a man like any other, like my other guy? Why do I reject him when I tries to touch me? My other guy is even bald and phisically less fit (yeah... a bit fat), while by bf has blue eyes and is thin and athletic.. So, technically he sould be more attractive to me!
Should I break up with him? Would it be fear to continue this.. I don't deserve him anymore, I cheated him twice and made love to another man!
Also, how could I have lived with my consciousness doing this?! How could I have betrayed someone's trust and live with it? Should I tell my bf everything or should I save him the pain? Should I save our relationship or should I release us both?
I really care about by b/f and want him to be happy. I love him. Is it possible to love two guys at once? Or is not wanting sex with my bf a sign I don't truly love him?
Help me please...