Sitting with the pain

[Cat Dancer]

I am just sitting with the pain. Not doing anything self-destructive. Kind of wanting to, but just breathing and letting the pain go. But, wow, it really hurts inside. I feel so sad for all the lost things and moments.

 

[Garrett]

Janet, I don't know your situation, but it seems there's a lot of people here who care about you. Never give up hope.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Thanks, Garrett. Your kind words mean a lot to me. I'm struggling with trying not to self-harm and it's tough, but I think I'm going to make it tonight. I think I'm going to be ok.

 

[Daniel E.]

Good

Some thoughts:

- The darker the past, the brighter the future.

- Things can seem much worse at night. When I was a teenager, most of my mental health hospitalizations happened at night

- Never underestimate the relaxing power of a hot bath or shower. My favorite routine for easing into sleep is a hot shower, music (or other audio of a calming voice), and sugar-free hot chocolate or herbal tea.

 

[Halo]

The darker the past, the brighter the future.

I like this one...thanks for posting it. It is one that I have never heard but will have to remember

 

[Garrett]

Thanks, Garrett. Your kind words mean a lot to me. I'm struggling with trying not to self-harm and it's tough, but I think I'm going to make it tonight. I think I'm going to be ok.

That is good to hear. You're very special and I'm sure there are many people that love and care about you. You might be in a lot of pain, but along with the pain comes a love like no other. Those that experience the pain have so much more love to give. The pain hurts, but it makes us stronger. There's nothing more powerful than love. Hug yourself and love yourself. Time will heal your wounds. It takes time. You are stronger than you know. I believe I've said this before. I like saying it because I never thought that I was strong enough, but I was. I was in the deepest dark pit of my mind. It took a lot of strength to pull myself free and now I can live life. I might not ever have that dream job or perfect family with the white picket fence, but I can experience life as it comes at me, the good and the bad. Our life is so short here on this wonderful planet. At the blink of an eye it can all go away. I don't want it to go away. I love my life for the first time in 43 years. Half my life has been a waste. It goes so fast it's scary. We're a blip on the universal radar screen. We should live life to it's fullest. Learn to love. Learn how to be compassionate. Learn to trust. Learn to give. Most of all, love yourself. It starts from within.

 

[braveheart]

I understand.
It's something I need to do a lot myself, being with my feelings, observing them, and feeling them, and not attacking myself.
I find drawing helps me a lot at times like those - I can let my feelings be freely expressed in my drawing, and that's safe. Sometimes I take those drawings to therapy, and that really helps, too.

 

[Into The Light]

janet, i am incredibly proud of you for just sitting with the pain. it is very hard to do but it really does help. let yourself feel it, accept it, and let it go through you. you are doing wonderfully :goodjob:

- The darker the past, the brighter the future.

i have never heard of this but like halo i really, really like this. thanks for sharing.

there's a lot of people here who care about you. Never give up hope.

You are stronger than you know.

Most of all, love yourself. It starts from within.

i agree with everything garrett has said.:goodjob:

 

[Cat Dancer]

Thanks everybody.

Your words mean a lot to me.

I am sitting again tonight with the pain. It's a little easier than last night. Maybe it gets easier. I don't know. I usually don't do this. I usually do something self-destructive to get rid of the pain, to punish myself. This is hard. Nights are hard. I guess nights are when the worst things happened and I have a hard time dealing with that. I want to escape the memories and the flashbacks and nightmares and it's hard. I struggle. I'm hurting. And it feels BAD. Ick. Is this going to get easier?

 

[moonriver]

You seem like such a kind and caring person. I have lost a lot of moments myself, but there will be new ones, new moments, look at how kind you are to everyone on this forum, you will get through this, let us all help you through the same way you help all of us.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Thank you, moonriver. I am learning so much lately about myself and others. Good stuff.

 

[sunset]

It seems like you have a handle on it Janet. You know what is going on, and are working to overcome. You are a strong person whether you know it or not.. Hang in there, and talk to us. ((((hugs)))