• Quote of the Day
    "It is only too easy to compel a sensitive human being to feel guilty about anything."
    Morton Irving Seiden, posted by Daniel
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Six Simple Steps to Help Fight Depression

Get help. Don't be ashamed of needing medication, and don't give up until you find something that helps. And see a therapist.

Identify your feelings and moods. Depression is a self-destructive effort to avoid feeling. Accept that emotions are natural and helpful. Learn that mood changes don't come "out of the blue" — they are always started by an event, a memory, a dream. Use the Mood Journal to identify what starts your mood changes.

Challenge depressed thinking. People with depression remember and blame themselves for bad events, while they forget about and give others credit for good events. Their low expectations mean they often don't prepare adequately and give up too easily. Worst, they think they are essentially different — damaged somehow — from other people. These are all learned habits of thought that can be unlearned. Pay attention to your assumptions and beliefs.

Let others know. Depressives fear intimacy more than most people. We put on masks for the world, because we believe our true selves to be shameful, unworthy. But this belief is wrong. When we're with someone we can trust, sharing our thoughts and feelings — even if they seem unimportant — is good for us.

Take care of your self. Learn to pay attention to messages from your body. Depressives abuse themselves by not eating right, not exercising, then expecting to work 12 hours straight. They will deny a minor ache or pain until they have an ulcer or a chronic back condition. Take time for moderate exercise, eat healhy but delicious meals, and allow yourself some pleasure in life.

Practice detachment. We spend far too much time and effort trying to control things that aren't worth the struggle. Many things that worry us are really unimportant; we've just gotten overinvolved and lost our bearings. We may find that we're trying to change things that we realistically cannot change. Instead of battering your head against a brick wall, learn to walk away.
 

just mary

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Thanks Janet, it's a very timely post (for me anyways).? And I've never seen it before. :)

Thanks again and take care,
 
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Thanks. :)

I like the last one especially. I tend to worry about so many things that are out of my control.
 

Eunoia

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thanks Janet. I made it a sticky for you!!!!

I think all of those are very true, espec. #2 for me right now... never really thought about this until recently but a lot does come down to understanding my emotions and why and letting myself experience them instead of trying to block them out etc...
 

Allegro

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I only wish I could see through the haze of psychotic thinking in order to realize that what I think is true, is not necessarily grounded in reality.
 

ladylore

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Doing a bit of reading and this I find is very helpful and a great reminder of what to do and handle depression.
 

SoSo

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I am just wondering about the "depression is a self-destructive effort to avoid feeling" part. Is that always true? I have been in such depression for 2-3 months now. It is because of the 'feelings' I am depressed, just want to stop feeling or at least these feelings of being totally alone, lost and useless to stop. Perhaps I am just too 'lost' right now though to understand any of this, perhaps not reading it or processing what it says right. I keep reading all the different posts on depression, etc perhaps the 'light' will click on eventually and it will all make sense. Time to put on my 'mask' and go out to the grocery store, another thing I am not managing well lately, lost my 'bearings' and just hope in time I relate with what is posted here.
 
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I am just wondering about the "depression is a self-destructive effort to avoid feeling" part. Is that always true? I have been in such depression for 2-3 months now. It is because of the 'feelings' I am depressed, just want to stop feeling or at least these feelings of being totally alone, lost and useless to stop.

i've found my experience of depression to be very paradoxical. on the one hand i felt like i felt too much, i felt lonely, sad, hopeless, alone, etc etc. on the other hand, it was like i didn't feel anything. i couldn't feel any joy, or happiness. i also had feelings that i knew were there but that i stopped myself from feeling. feelings of grief and sadness and loss that i just did not want to feel, so i wouldn't let myself. in that sense i was numbed. i think this is what they refer to in this article when it mentions the effort to avoid feeling. you may have feelings you need to work through but that for some reason in your mind you don't want to have to go through, and you try to avoid that. instead, they manifest themselves in the form of depression which as you know is painful too.

i hope this makes sense and that i haven't lost you, if it's confusing i'll try to explain better.
 

David Baxter

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I think that's a pretty good description, ladybug. I think vulnerability to depression often does come from "feeling too much" - when that becomes overwhelming, the individual then shuts down and becomes "blunted" or "numb".
 

ladylore

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when that becomes overwhelming, the individual then shuts down and becomes "blunted" or "numb".

That is exactly how it felt. I noticed that when I am overwhelmed and I don't feel in control of life anymore, being pulled in too many directions - this is when the depression cycle starts. It also happened when I was hypervigilent and over alert (constant fight or flight).

My system couldn't handle that much adreniline so it started to shut down. This is where the anti-depressents have helped. I am no longer as alert to my surroundings as I use to be - feelings started to level off. What a relief. :)
 

SoSo

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Oh, low watt light just came on, especially the 'fight or flight' part. I don't want to feel these feelings, can't seem to control or stop them right now, tried, so I did the 'flight' thing and ran away to NS where I have no support system in place at all. Perhaps someday soon I will feel 'too much' of the good side of life, not being depressed, that would be so nice. I am going to read this again, and again, etc. It will eventually all make sense and 'click' in, just seems to take longer these days.
 

Milligan

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Hello--just a note by me regarding this conversation -- only 2 months later ...:huh:.!
I often remember that things DO GET BETTER. When I am at the blackest stage. my brain feels like it's trapped and is frantically trying to get out--trying to find a solution, a calm space, a way to make it better. Outwardly, I just retreat and sleep. I don't talk, don't interact and yet interacting is one of the ways of breaking out of the blackness...as well as reassuring my family that good ol' me will return.
Sometimes, it's just too hard and we search and search for a light to come on, as you say, Feisty4me, and for a way to be better.
And for me, it's often just the passage of time...just waiting for something to break the cycle. And it always happens. But I have to walk through #@$&* and more to get there. But it always gets better. (I wish tho', that it was easier/clearer...even with 225 mg effexor xr this happens....hmmm)
Hang in there Feisty!...it will change and you will be okay.:hug:
Milligan :wave4:
 
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It is in this numb state i tend to be functioning best. I don't feel any emotion so i can think clearer. I strive to stay in this state but something or someone always pulls me back to emotions. I too retreat sending everyone away in hope sleep will take it all away. The steps above will help me i hope keep the emotions under control and my thought process clear. thanks mary
 

stefan17

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Some more steps to fight depression:

  • yes, you should really take your drugs
  • go for a walk in the sun
  • do some sports you like
  • enjoy a massage
  • focus on positive aspects of your life
 
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