So glad to have found this place

[Thehurtstopshere]

I found this site just in time. I was starting to think that I was just this unworthy, horrible accident of a life....but I see so clearly now that I am not alone...that there are others who have had to accept the fact that their mother does not love them. I left home at 14 and slept in a car in winter and lived on the streets but it was better than that big spotless house wherein every anxious moment was spent trying to forecast the emotional weather approaching. It has been bothering me recently because my mother has convinced my family that I am just a horrible person since I broke ties with her completely last year. The past few months I have become really ill and spent the holidays in ICU, went home and now I am back in hosp. not ICU though, again. I have a wonderful husband who is a Godsend. He has been unable to keep his jaw from hanging open at the things my mother has done..yet in her mind and the minds of many she has fooled..she is the only victim..and martyr. How sad for her that Im sick. :-((

 

[AmZ]

Welcome

 

[Daniel E.]

:welcome:

 

[Thehurtstopshere]

Thanks

 

[Cat Dancer]

Hi.

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

Welcome!! Welcome! I hear what you're saying! T.H.S.H

 

[Thehurtstopshere]

THANKS. jOllygreenjellybean, I would like to add that I love to write poetry and hope to add some soon, (in hospital now with free time and bored) and that I read a bit of yours and thought it was wonderful. You seem to have great insight which can be a great blessing and often, a heavy weight. I was impressed by both your style of prose and your ability to convey your thoughts. I read somewhere here that we should try and be our own caring mother to ourselves and thats what im doing now..it feels good to treat myself with love! Novel idea!!

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

Heh, thanks very much! THSH (do you mind if I abbreviate?)... Lots of folks either call me JGJB or Jolly for short... lol We both have long profile names!

I'm really glad you're taking proper care of yourself! How's the hospital food? lol

 

[Thehurtstopshere]

hi jolly, yes-abbrev. is much neede with our names, lol. The hosp food is awful but hubby brings good stuff, LOL. I am feeling much better and hope to go home in the morning. I am so surprised to read that my family make up is so common to this..My NM , my stepdad who worships, fears her, my sister who can do no wrong in NMs eyes and my other sis who can d no right in her eyes yet struggles endlessly to get her approval. That sis and I were always close but she chose NM and I understand why. Everyone else is overseas. Its hard to have no call, card, visit...from them though..I Dont know exactly how to feel about that bc before I pretended to me and others that NM cared and now its just OUT THERE..the motherless child. why do I feel guilty?