Social Anxiety, appearance issues and dating

[amh17]

Hello everyone I am a young college girl. I am socially anxious and often get panic attacks being outside in general in any sense when i meet people and also when i am in a large confined space such as a mall or supermarket, I cannot handle myself that well and often avoid this or when i do go i always need to leave straight away and i only have a handful of friends as i find it very hard to trust people. I need to be able to have more confidence as i feel very depressed about my appearance and i seriously believe i am very ugly and fat as i have a birthmark on the right cheek of my face and i think my face looks ugly.

I am also involved with a much older man who is old enough to be my grandad. He said he loves me and cares for me and i am still a virgin. He said he will look after me.

 

[AmZ]

Welcome. I am sure that you will get some good help here. Stay strong x

 

[Retired]

Welcome to Psychlinks, AMH17.

Have you ever received therapy for your anxiety, panic attacks and self image issues?

What do you see as the future for your relationship with this man?

 

[rdw]

Welcome!

 

[W00BY]

Hi Amh17

Welcome to the site, there is many many resources here that will be of use to you and great support from others, ranging from sage advice to personal experience of struggling with issues much like your own.

I would encourage you to have a good look through the site.

When I was your age I absolutely hated how I looked, I still find it difficult to look in a mirror and at one point if I seen my reflection whilst out in public would actively move seat to avoid this.

It's funny I looked at pictures recently from when I was younger and had a flash of memory of how I felt about particular parts of my body... nose, ears, belly etc and it is almost like thinking about a different person with regard to the feeling I experienced at this point in my life.

What I will say to you is life is transient things come and go and self perception is one of those things but we can shape these thoughts with a little work and the right help.

A little therapy may be all that is needed to help you with these issues and again this site is brilliant for pointers and advice on seeking the right kind of therapy, also with the relationship you have mentioned there (again) is much resources to help you with your choices in this part of your life also.

I wish you well for the future and welcome =)

 

[MHealthJo]

Welcome!

Yes, have a good look around, it is wonderful that you are looking to help yourself with your feelings and self image early in life. The sooner a person can start down this road, even in small ways, the better!

I have a quite large facial birthmark too. I hated it so much as a kid. The early discovery of a good concealer was a great thing for me. Keeping it covered and sunscreened helps it stay light, and pretty soon I literally never thought about it anymore. It depends on each person and the nature of it, of course, but there are some truly amazing products out there now, for those of us for whom makeup is a way of life. There are even waxy or stainy type products that can stay on, even if the skin gets wet.

Experimenting with makeup as I grew up also helped me connect with the possibility of looking good. I think all humans are beautiful as they are, but hey - if at the same time, a gal can enjoy the 'artish' version of beauty by playing with grooming options, that can be fun and pleasing too, and gives some sense of control about it. (As long as we don't REPLACE the need for love/acceptance of the natural body and the self with the strong need for the control/customizing of the outside picture. That can be a difficult trap too of course.)

Best wishes! I know you don't yet feel this way, but you are human and unique, therefore already beautiful.