Social anxiety disorder

[Xekojm]

I think I may have social anxiety disorder, but im not quite sure. I am 14 years old and in high school, ever since 7th grade, i've become more and more shy... I have few friends, those who I met in 6th grade before I had this problem. Sometimes, I get mad at myself for being shy, and not seeking help, this is my first time talking about my problem. Also sometimes it effects my grade because, either I don't want to go up in front of a class and present a project, or ask a teacher why I got a question wrong on a test. I've been getting better at this, but the problem still exists. The more and more I think about it the more and more I think I dont have a problem, but I do. Should I get help from my counselor, or is there somthing I can do biomedically to help? Please tell me what you would do if you were in my situation.

Thanks in advanced

 

[Xekojm]

I might want to add: The problem seemed to presist, and become stronger and stronger when, this girl I liked from the 2nd grade was in the same school as me. when I was in 2nd grade, I had to move to England because my dad is in the Air Force and had to be stationed there, this seprated us, now since I finally met her again, I've been shy...

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Counselling is usually helpful with social anxiety or shyness and at age 14 less risky than taking medications, unless absolutely necessary.

 

[ThatLady]

Might there be a counsellor at your school you could talk to? They're usually very well trained in dealing with social anxiety in young teens.

 

[Eunoia]

I think that you've already taken a big step by wanting to do soemthing about this. I don't know if you actually have a disorder (ie. social anxiety disorder) but what it comes down to is that you're not comfortable in all social situations and that this has an impact (may I say negative) on parts of your life. Not getting the grade you want b/c you can't go and present in front of the class obviously isn't what you want.... and high school has enough challenges that not being shy would be a huge bonus. however, there is nothing wrong w/ being shy. maybe it just takes some time to get to know you, but it's not ok if it gets to the point where you are scared of a situation and this interveres negatively w/ your life ie. grades, social relations... etc. Try calming exercises (ore relaxation exercise... you can find these on the web). Seriously. Like breath deeply and count up to 30 or so b/f you're encountering a stressfuls ituation. I got this tiny stone (for good luck or something) from one of my best friends... carrying that around when I went into stressful situations after a while helped a little... noone else knew but it was something I had that meant a lot to me. So you could think of something similar. I for one can't stand talking in front of huge crowds of people... but I do know that being really prepared and talking about something you like, enjoyed researching etc. can take some of the anxiety away. And seriously, more people than you know fear public speaking. Also, just entering high school in itself may be a trigger for shyness... b/c of all the new things etc. Do you like sports? try joining a sports team to make new/more friends and be able to open up w/out fearing rejection.... or maybe drama.... again, you're acting, so there is no right or wrong for what you do.... try talking to a counselor just to get their perspective and insight... b/c maybe the problem is bigger than just general shyness.... I think talking to someone who knows what they're talking about will help you a lot