More threads by moondust

moondust

Member
I don't know what's going on with me. I have always had social anxiety, but it has gotten much worse over the years.

It's to the point where I don't like going out in public, unless my husband or kids are with me. I'll do it if I have to, but I don't like it. Usually I end up procrastinating or rescheduling appointments. I even let my driver's license lapse because I can't drive anymore without going into full-blown panic mode.

Now all the sudden, I have huge social anxiety on the internet. I can't go onto forums that I'm liked and respected on and post the way I used to, because I feel like anything I say sounds stupid, or I'm going to be rediculed. I even cancelled my facebook account because the social anxiety from it is killing me.

Another reason I cancelled the facebook though, is because I'm getting paranoia issues. I don't know if this is a reasonable or unreasonable paranoia, but I can't stand the thought of being "tracked". All the applications that are used in facebook to track consumer computer habits and what websites they visit...plus the fact that the NSA is data mining and tracking website visits, emails, even all our phone calls and texts get turned over to them. The thing is, this really happens, it's not like it's in my head that this goes on. Not that I'm doing anything illegal or have anything to hide, it just bothers me a LOT and makes me paranoid about getting online or texting.

I know there aren't "agents" secretly following me around, or tapping my phone, or anything that extreme. So I don't know if it's true paranoia I feel, or just extreme displeasure at the thought of my privacy being violated. I don't know if I'm developing some type of schizotypal traits or what. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and anxiety already, I just feel like I keep getting worse.

Any thoughts, comments, or opinions would be appreciated. I feel completely isolated and disconnected from the world.
 

David Baxter PhD

Late Founder
Re: Social anxiety, internet anxiety, paranoia

Hi, moondust. You'll have to remind me: Are you currently taking any medications and are you currently in therapy?

Anxiety and obsessional thinking are not unusual for inviduals with bipolar disorder but these can usually be well-managed with a combination of appropriate medications and cognbitive behavior therapy or similar therapeutic techniques.
 

moondust

Member
Re: Social anxiety, internet anxiety, paranoia

I currently take 150 buproprian once a day and .5 mg xanax once or twice a day (also just started on an infant dose of amitryptiline at night, but that was prescribed for my fibromyalgia, just started blood pressure meds, and I take dilantin for a mild form of epilepsy). I'm not in therapy yet, but my new doc is trying to get me set up with county mental health, as there are no private practices around here that take my insurance (medicare). Hopefully he can get me in because I called county before and was told they don't take medicare either, just medicaid. I know buproprian isn't the first choice of med for my disorder, but everything else I ever try turns me to a zombie and I sleep all day. And I think I've tried about all of them, except maybe a few very, very new ones. I can't take the buproprian twice a day because then I don't sleep at all. I feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I even told my doc that I was considering electroshock therapy, because I am so tired of the medication problems. I'm fairly sure if I stopped taking the buproprian, my anxiety would only slightly lessen, and then I'll go into full-blown depression. All I can do is hope I can get in with county and see what they throw at me.
 
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