Hi there I'm new...
My main issue with social phobia is that I could even be prepared for it and still be shaking-yet it isn't the same on stage...(and yes, I have tried to act in life but I got too scared before "I walked on stage" so to speak).
I'm a perfectly decent person, and decent people, eventually, always like me (or at least those that I've spoken to in sufficient length). But I have a big fear that they (all people) won't like me for one reason or another. (Because I've had many un-deserved comments from people that were uncalled for that hurt me and I am currently not strong enough to take this undue criticism, or know how to deal with it (e.g. how to help rid oneself of the memories).
What I want to know is: How do not care about what "the people that don't matter" think of you, when you ARE supposed to care when decent people think good things about you. Those people who (at least potentially) wouldn't like me actually DO matter to me, especially if you where to spend a lot of time with them...In my opinion saying they don't matter is a load of....
Emotion is often attached to what other people think about us. How do you automatically switch off to bad comments? People not liking me feels to me like a form of rejection, and when we are rejected we don't feel especially good. It also brings thoughts about making the effort to make people like you...(Once I'm thinking more clearly I'll be able to expand on the setence about making the effort).
Half the time I don't know how to act round people-which brings on fear in itself. Yet when I do know, sometimes I'm still fearful.
Some other stuff-I've had the words "typical of an actor" and "teenage angst" associated with this (my situation)-it's not just typical of an actor to be sick before he goes on a coach on a College trip, nor for the average teenager...or to not say anything, or whatever.
Any thoughts on my main question? I've decided to take a step to join here because this has annoyed me, given pain and upset me for too long, and could still do. I'm getting phychological help this summer but I would like to see what is said here.
Thanks
My main issue with social phobia is that I could even be prepared for it and still be shaking-yet it isn't the same on stage...(and yes, I have tried to act in life but I got too scared before "I walked on stage" so to speak).
I'm a perfectly decent person, and decent people, eventually, always like me (or at least those that I've spoken to in sufficient length). But I have a big fear that they (all people) won't like me for one reason or another. (Because I've had many un-deserved comments from people that were uncalled for that hurt me and I am currently not strong enough to take this undue criticism, or know how to deal with it (e.g. how to help rid oneself of the memories).
What I want to know is: How do not care about what "the people that don't matter" think of you, when you ARE supposed to care when decent people think good things about you. Those people who (at least potentially) wouldn't like me actually DO matter to me, especially if you where to spend a lot of time with them...In my opinion saying they don't matter is a load of....
Emotion is often attached to what other people think about us. How do you automatically switch off to bad comments? People not liking me feels to me like a form of rejection, and when we are rejected we don't feel especially good. It also brings thoughts about making the effort to make people like you...(Once I'm thinking more clearly I'll be able to expand on the setence about making the effort).
Half the time I don't know how to act round people-which brings on fear in itself. Yet when I do know, sometimes I'm still fearful.
Some other stuff-I've had the words "typical of an actor" and "teenage angst" associated with this (my situation)-it's not just typical of an actor to be sick before he goes on a coach on a College trip, nor for the average teenager...or to not say anything, or whatever.
Any thoughts on my main question? I've decided to take a step to join here because this has annoyed me, given pain and upset me for too long, and could still do. I'm getting phychological help this summer but I would like to see what is said here.
Thanks