AmZ
Member
I met with the social worker for the first time today.
I'll be meeting with her once a week.
She is going to provide me with a (loose translation, not sure what word to use in English), but like a guide type person also, of which everyone gets assigned one of these. These person will also be in their 20's like me and is trained with the basics of how to to be a 'guide'.
I don't want to be negative, but I am trying to work out the reasons as to why today kinda made me cringe and made me feel like I am resistant to working with these people.
The social worker was a year older than me or something crazy and that felt a bit weird and somehow not 'right', I don't know else how to describe that. The guide will also be around my age and that I can 'do things with'. The social worker asked me what I'd like to do with her, and I didn't know what to say. She said maybe she can come to your house and cook a nice meal with you? I don't know why, but that turned my stomach, not even thinking about the food (LOL). I said that I don't know yet what I would like to do.
It's a bit weird to me. I know that these people are there to be my support system, but I'm going to go out with another new 'stranger' for coffee and just chat about... life?
It feels fake and weird and *add word here*. I can't think.
I know that I generally don't like talking about myself and to be honest, don't like talking in general unless it's to my family or to a psychiatrist/psychologist. It's part of my issue, I know. I feel like I don't want to talk about me further than saying where I am from and where I work and I go to the gym 2 times a week, and that's about it anyway. Then I feel like I am empty and have nothing else to say. I don't have any subjects I like talking about, politics, the environment, etc etc. Hence, why the social thing is difficult anyway because of these issues.
I'd prefer to meet friends 'naturally' (but I know that I still have the issues), this seems so forced and like an unpleasant situation to be in. She said that this person is 'kind of' like a friend also, or 'can be'. How forced is that and what a loser I sound like?
Hmm, does this make sense?
I'm trying to work out how these people can help me and what I want/need in relation to what they can assist with. Not really sure.
Ideas?
PS. I got the Seroquel today. My health care declined giving it to me but I bought it privately in a pharmacy. Rather lot of money, but I'm used to waving goodbye to my savings the last several months.
I'll be meeting with her once a week.
She is going to provide me with a (loose translation, not sure what word to use in English), but like a guide type person also, of which everyone gets assigned one of these. These person will also be in their 20's like me and is trained with the basics of how to to be a 'guide'.
I don't want to be negative, but I am trying to work out the reasons as to why today kinda made me cringe and made me feel like I am resistant to working with these people.
The social worker was a year older than me or something crazy and that felt a bit weird and somehow not 'right', I don't know else how to describe that. The guide will also be around my age and that I can 'do things with'. The social worker asked me what I'd like to do with her, and I didn't know what to say. She said maybe she can come to your house and cook a nice meal with you? I don't know why, but that turned my stomach, not even thinking about the food (LOL). I said that I don't know yet what I would like to do.
It's a bit weird to me. I know that these people are there to be my support system, but I'm going to go out with another new 'stranger' for coffee and just chat about... life?
It feels fake and weird and *add word here*. I can't think.
I know that I generally don't like talking about myself and to be honest, don't like talking in general unless it's to my family or to a psychiatrist/psychologist. It's part of my issue, I know. I feel like I don't want to talk about me further than saying where I am from and where I work and I go to the gym 2 times a week, and that's about it anyway. Then I feel like I am empty and have nothing else to say. I don't have any subjects I like talking about, politics, the environment, etc etc. Hence, why the social thing is difficult anyway because of these issues.
I'd prefer to meet friends 'naturally' (but I know that I still have the issues), this seems so forced and like an unpleasant situation to be in. She said that this person is 'kind of' like a friend also, or 'can be'. How forced is that and what a loser I sound like?
Hmm, does this make sense?
I'm trying to work out how these people can help me and what I want/need in relation to what they can assist with. Not really sure.
Ideas?
PS. I got the Seroquel today. My health care declined giving it to me but I bought it privately in a pharmacy. Rather lot of money, but I'm used to waving goodbye to my savings the last several months.
