Hi everyone. I haven't used the forum for a while, but I would be grateful for any advice.
I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions about techniques or methods for behaving well in social situations. That sounds a bit strange, I know! The thing is, I have been struggling a lot with depression and anxiety in the last few months. I really want to find a way out of it. When I am in social situations, I want to be sociable and friendly and enjoy myself, and not bring other people down. I was at a wedding reception the other night, and I had every intention of coming across in a bright, friendly manner, but by the end of the night I had somehow been taken under the wing of some very kind, well-meaning people who were trying to cheer me up, and bolster me. I feel ashamed that I let this happen, especially on such an occasion! I don't know exactly how it happened, but I realise I must have elicited this behaviour somehow. I know everyone has their own problems, I don't want to get so focused on my own problems that my behaviour betrays this horrible self-involvement. I really want to put on a brave face, smile and face the world and struggle onward and upward.
I feel I must be behaving in a very selfish, immature way, and I don't want to do this. I was telling myself I have to be interested in other people, I have to be curious about them, take the focus off me, but I obviously didn't succeed! I was telling myself that I want to show kindness, interest and compassion in/toward other people, just have fun, not bring people down (including myself!), but it just back-fired! I think I may have lapsed into self-deprecation, which I think can actually make people feel uncomfortable...?
I don't know if it's just basic ettiquette and social graces that I need to learn? Does anyone know of any books or courses that could help me with this please? I think it may also just be a case of getting out there, making my social gaffes, and learning from them and from watching other people who are good at socialising. But still, any advice most gratefully received!
Best wishes to all, and hope you're feeling better now, David. With thanks.
I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions about techniques or methods for behaving well in social situations. That sounds a bit strange, I know! The thing is, I have been struggling a lot with depression and anxiety in the last few months. I really want to find a way out of it. When I am in social situations, I want to be sociable and friendly and enjoy myself, and not bring other people down. I was at a wedding reception the other night, and I had every intention of coming across in a bright, friendly manner, but by the end of the night I had somehow been taken under the wing of some very kind, well-meaning people who were trying to cheer me up, and bolster me. I feel ashamed that I let this happen, especially on such an occasion! I don't know exactly how it happened, but I realise I must have elicited this behaviour somehow. I know everyone has their own problems, I don't want to get so focused on my own problems that my behaviour betrays this horrible self-involvement. I really want to put on a brave face, smile and face the world and struggle onward and upward.
I feel I must be behaving in a very selfish, immature way, and I don't want to do this. I was telling myself I have to be interested in other people, I have to be curious about them, take the focus off me, but I obviously didn't succeed! I was telling myself that I want to show kindness, interest and compassion in/toward other people, just have fun, not bring people down (including myself!), but it just back-fired! I think I may have lapsed into self-deprecation, which I think can actually make people feel uncomfortable...?
I don't know if it's just basic ettiquette and social graces that I need to learn? Does anyone know of any books or courses that could help me with this please? I think it may also just be a case of getting out there, making my social gaffes, and learning from them and from watching other people who are good at socialising. But still, any advice most gratefully received!
Best wishes to all, and hope you're feeling better now, David. With thanks.