• Quote of the Day
    "It’s not the size of the step that gets you there. It’s the fact that you’re taking the step."
    Mark Victor Hansen, posted by Daniel

awthedude

Member
Joined
Mar 23, 2005
Messages
41
Points
6
I used to feel like I was really different from other people because of what happened. To an extent now it doesn't affect my relationships as bad as before but in many respects I still feel different. I've thought about it and a lot of people say it doesn't make me different but I can't seem to get over it. How would you go about reassuring yourself that your the same cause things like this don't happen to many people and in all actuallity I am different. I don't know maybe I just have circular logic. Also cause I'm a guy I feel even wierder talking about it with people so I usually keep it to myself is that a bad thing if it is bothering me and I don't talk about it? Thanks
 

awthedude

Member
Joined
Mar 23, 2005
Messages
41
Points
6
Also I wanted to add that as a kid it made me feel like everything I was doing was pointless. I can't explain why but did or does anyone else feel that way?
 

David Baxter

Administrator
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
37,671
Points
113
things like this don't happen to many people and in all actuallity I am different
Actually, they happen to a lot more people than you think...
 

awthedude

Member
Joined
Mar 23, 2005
Messages
41
Points
6
I guess maybe, but I dont know any of them and it's just me in my world. Maybe that is really stupid to say actually even after writing that now I feel like taking it back. I have actually known someone in this same kinda situation but I don't know her anymore or I guess my friend who was involved the same time as me. It just seems I'm alone in it now and I can't muster up the courage.
 

David Baxter

Administrator
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
37,671
Points
113
I know, dude. What I meant was that although you feel like some sort of alien who is unlike any other human being, that really isn't true. There are many people who have suffered through similar experiences and would understand some of what you feel -- and others who may not have experienced it directly but know people who have and therefore again would have some understanding. You are not as alone as you believe yourself to be.
 

awthedude

Member
Joined
Mar 23, 2005
Messages
41
Points
6
It just seems like if I speak up about it then all the sudden everyone is shoulder length apart and keeping their distance. Maybe it's in my head but now I just try to steer clear of talking about it altogether. I've been doing this sort of thing for years. I don't know if it is a good approach since it seems to make me pretty quiet but it helps me in other ways. I don't know if that makes any sense. I don't know if it is me that is making me feel like an alien but it seems like it's them
 

David Baxter

Administrator
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
37,671
Points
113
Well, there's no doubt that you have to pick the time, the place, and the person carefully. But that's true of anything that is personal and important to you, I think. There are only a small number of people who really know me... that's by choice. I trust them and so I talk to them about things that are troubling or stressful or disturbing or sad... that is, about those things I really wouldn't want to talk to most people about or even want them to know about me.
 

awthedude

Member
Joined
Mar 23, 2005
Messages
41
Points
6
I guess, that's a good point. If someone came to me and told me something personal and I knew them well I might be open. But if I didn't know them very well or didn't feel as if I did I might be stand offish too.
 

Jon

Member
Joined
Dec 29, 2004
Messages
40
Points
6
I found that most people shy away because it is something foreign to them. One of those dark discussions they don't understand, so it makes them uncomfortable. Yet when you are able to open up to the right person, you can help them understand and they can help you to get past it. A true friend will be there to help you through any crisis. I know things about some of my friends that nobody else does, and visa versa. We have helped one another through some difficult times. That is what it is all about really. A good psychologist can always help you to work things through, but my closest friends have been my personal source of help.
 

awthedude

Member
Joined
Mar 23, 2005
Messages
41
Points
6
I told my parents about what happened along time ago and they didn't believe me. I told them again a few years past and they didn't believe me again! It's like they're in denial but it really hurts me. It's like they don't believe me. Actually, they don't believe me! My mom just kinda shrugs my concerns aside and I can't talk to my dad. It seems the problems ammount on me after drinking ..... anyway.... what do you think i should do? or what should someone do in this situation? i think it would be to much work to gain my parents understanding and without that i feel like it's not worth seeking help. My friends disagree but i don't know what to do.
 

David Baxter

Administrator
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
37,671
Points
113
I also disagree, dude. This isn't about whether or not your parents ever understand. It's about YOU finding some peace and moving on with your own life.

It would certainly be nice if your parents could understand and be supportive but it isn't essential or even close to the most important thing.
 

ThatLady

Member
Joined
Nov 4, 2004
Messages
4,104
Points
36
You really don't need your parents to believe you in order to seek help. You're not seeking help to get your parents to believe you, hon. You're seeking help to get you to believe in yourself, and to be able to move forward in your life to a place where you can live a happy, healthy existence.
 

awthedude

Member
Joined
Mar 23, 2005
Messages
41
Points
6
I kinda understand now that i am no different than anyone else and that what happened doesn't make me any less of a person. I guess my question is how do u get over the flashbacks and the things associated with that?
 

David Baxter

Administrator
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
37,671
Points
113
Not necessarily, no. But it probably won't get any better until you do.

You'll know if it's getting worse because the flashbacks will come more frequently and wilkl be more difficult to shake off...
 

awthedude

Member
Joined
Mar 23, 2005
Messages
41
Points
6
OK, thax for the info. I really do appreciate it. This site and u guys have been better than the last 20 books I've read! :)
 

awthedude

Member
Joined
Mar 23, 2005
Messages
41
Points
6
I know ur probably thinking, "this kid never stops with the questions" but i got another, I make alot of music about what happened to me and about my life in general. Do you think that is a good thing or a bad thing to do?
 

Latest posts

Top Bottom