Has anyone ever run into someone who simply can't talk in front of large groups of people without severe physical and mental debilitation? Has anyone here ever suffered from, or can relate to this issue? I am in a group for treatment and it is about 20 or so people, and we sit in a large circle and give feedback; it is a very feedback oriented group. However, when it comes to me asserting myself, or when we are going around the room with a general question and it comes to me, it's like my brain is going one million miles an hour and I freeze up, get choked up and can barely muster a sentence. It's terribly humiliating and in the past it has led me to self medicate with alcohol, which seems like the only drug that can combat this paralization. It's the most embarasing and humiliating behavior disfunction I could ever imagine, and I am living it. I have been given a drug to take "as needed" called propranalol, and it seems to have little effect, if any on this terrible circumstance. I am looking for some insight on this here, if anyone can allude to this, I would be thankful.
- Thread starter Roy H.
- Start date
I can relate to not being able to speak due to anxiety. For me it isn't just necessarely speaking in a group, it can be at any time. If my anxiety level gets bad, I can't pull my thoughs together, I studder, mumble and shake.
Not sure if this helps or not. Unfortunetly aside from taking my Clonasipam, I don't get much relief from it. In the past few months I have coped with that happening and have excepted it, but trying not to become embarasssed by it (yes this is difficult)
I have had anxiety and panic attacks now for over 8 years. I have tried quite a few anti depressant medications, but for that happening, it did not aleviate it. Only the Clonasipam helps when I take it.
Not sure if this helps or not. Unfortunetly aside from taking my Clonasipam, I don't get much relief from it. In the past few months I have coped with that happening and have excepted it, but trying not to become embarasssed by it (yes this is difficult)
I have had anxiety and panic attacks now for over 8 years. I have tried quite a few anti depressant medications, but for that happening, it did not aleviate it. Only the Clonasipam helps when I take it.
white page
Member
Hi Roy ,
I do sympathise with you on this , this happens to me in external work meetings ,
when everybody has to introduce themselves , I can't even say my name properly . luckily these meetings are a fairly rare occurance .
have you tried to join a theatre group ,? I have heard that this can really help , the other thing to try is a speech therapist , who will give you coping techniques and breathing exercises, which would be similar to people who have stutters in public , but not in private life . all this is anxiety related and as you say self medication is certainly not the answer .
I am sure other members of the forum can suggest other things which you could try .
best wishes whitepage
I do sympathise with you on this , this happens to me in external work meetings ,
when everybody has to introduce themselves , I can't even say my name properly . luckily these meetings are a fairly rare occurance .
have you tried to join a theatre group ,? I have heard that this can really help , the other thing to try is a speech therapist , who will give you coping techniques and breathing exercises, which would be similar to people who have stutters in public , but not in private life . all this is anxiety related and as you say self medication is certainly not the answer .
I am sure other members of the forum can suggest other things which you could try .
best wishes whitepage
Roy,
It's not at all unusual for many people to feel ill at ease when adressing a group.
You may want to discuss this further with the physician who prescribed the propranolol.
Exactly what are the precise instructions you have for taking "as needed"?
Have you asked your doctor for an alternative medication which might relieve your anxiety?
Have you told the group leader of your therapy group that you feel anxious and unable to collect your thoughts before the group?
It's not at all unusual for many people to feel ill at ease when adressing a group.
You may want to discuss this further with the physician who prescribed the propranolol.
Exactly what are the precise instructions you have for taking "as needed"?
Have you asked your doctor for an alternative medication which might relieve your anxiety?
Have you told the group leader of your therapy group that you feel anxious and unable to collect your thoughts before the group?
I can speak in front of groups and MC an event with no problem, but my worst is when speaking something technical with a peer or a client. It appears that a fogginess takes over and I become somewhat tong-tied and totally non-professional. What happens then is bad, cause I tend to overcorrect and repeat cause I've not given the information coherently the first time.SteveC
Under what circumstances would you be delivering technical information to clients...in a slaes presentation, or in a technical support capacity?
Face to face in person, or over the telephone?
When presenting to peers, is it a role play for rehearsal situation or is it to teach peers?
When delivering to groups, is it job related or social situations?
My work is in building design. At times with both clients and peers I tend to lose train of thought, expressing technical data, general conversation that goes with that scenario. Nothing to do with staged formal presentation but lots to do with selling one's self for the job hired to do by both clients, suppliers, consultants, contractors, etc. SteveC
I never liked scripted presentations, but in order to keep my thoughts organized, I usually put together a template of the main points I want to discuss.
When composing my template, I write down the headings of the topics I want to talk about, then commit them to memory by rehearsing my presentation by myself...in the office, at home or in the car while driving.
Personally I was never any good with role playing rehearsals, although some people find that technique works for them.
Have you had success with role playing?
I like to go over my presentation, actually verbalizing out loud, rather than mentally, because for me verbalizing helps me to work out the phrases and words I can use.
Making a presentation is not unlike an actor's performance..and most actors rehearse intensely before going on stage.
How are you at dealing with clients' objections?
When composing my template, I write down the headings of the topics I want to talk about, then commit them to memory by rehearsing my presentation by myself...in the office, at home or in the car while driving.
Personally I was never any good with role playing rehearsals, although some people find that technique works for them.
Have you had success with role playing?
I like to go over my presentation, actually verbalizing out loud, rather than mentally, because for me verbalizing helps me to work out the phrases and words I can use.
Making a presentation is not unlike an actor's performance..and most actors rehearse intensely before going on stage.
How are you at dealing with clients' objections?
Thanks Steve...what a wonderful handle! LOL
In my profession I was always in a leadership role whether I wanted it or not. Just the circumstances of the work. From an early age in business, everything was knowledge, fact, techniques, creativity etc. etc. etc. I had to allways think quickly on my feet and have the correct answers. There was no room for error. When in design, I had to put myself in the clients position and learn how to view things from their perspective, yet come up with good designs, and watch their faces show emotion of approval or rejection. This is just part and parcell of the work. Clients rejection is totally accepted and did not ever bother me, cause we worked on every aspect of design to make them comfortable and happy with the outcome as long as it made good design sense and my forseeing that in the end they would be happy with it, and also something that I would be proud of signing my name to. I always congratulate my clients on their good design and I am only the draftsman who drew it up.
So there is not a problem in that phase of it, or technical presentations with or without a script, rehersed or unrehersed, or MCing an event, or singing in front of an audience etc. etc. etc. Of course there is the small butterflies that everyone experiences, but nothing to speak of.
As mentioned before, the problem more comes in a one on one with some clients, where this old pro just goes thru unexplainable anxiety, tongue-tied, foggy, uncoherent, babbling repetative fixture, and not the smooth flowing positive person that once was. Now I more so must structure words and phrases in such a manner that they will leave a significant impact or statement with the client, without babbling or repeating, etc,etc,etc. I have found this happening also socially, but am not concerned as much about it cause its light hearted conversaton only.
I guess when you put all the stuff that I've been thru in the last couple of years, and the anoxia from when I coded, its to be expected. So to be helpful, at times I do inform some of my clients that I've been thru a bit and not to be too hard on me and we will work real hard to create a design that they will just be proud of....regardsSteveC
In my profession I was always in a leadership role whether I wanted it or not. Just the circumstances of the work. From an early age in business, everything was knowledge, fact, techniques, creativity etc. etc. etc. I had to allways think quickly on my feet and have the correct answers. There was no room for error. When in design, I had to put myself in the clients position and learn how to view things from their perspective, yet come up with good designs, and watch their faces show emotion of approval or rejection. This is just part and parcell of the work. Clients rejection is totally accepted and did not ever bother me, cause we worked on every aspect of design to make them comfortable and happy with the outcome as long as it made good design sense and my forseeing that in the end they would be happy with it, and also something that I would be proud of signing my name to. I always congratulate my clients on their good design and I am only the draftsman who drew it up.
So there is not a problem in that phase of it, or technical presentations with or without a script, rehersed or unrehersed, or MCing an event, or singing in front of an audience etc. etc. etc. Of course there is the small butterflies that everyone experiences, but nothing to speak of.
As mentioned before, the problem more comes in a one on one with some clients, where this old pro just goes thru unexplainable anxiety, tongue-tied, foggy, uncoherent, babbling repetative fixture, and not the smooth flowing positive person that once was. Now I more so must structure words and phrases in such a manner that they will leave a significant impact or statement with the client, without babbling or repeating, etc,etc,etc. I have found this happening also socially, but am not concerned as much about it cause its light hearted conversaton only.
I guess when you put all the stuff that I've been thru in the last couple of years, and the anoxia from when I coded, its to be expected. So to be helpful, at times I do inform some of my clients that I've been thru a bit and not to be too hard on me and we will work real hard to create a design that they will just be proud of....regardsSteveC
successful_workthru
Member
You're not alone.
Sometimes my voice goes when I am anxious.
Sometimes, I don't even know why, it's not a public speaking thing, just, my mind freezing.
With me, I can only identify how I am feeling, retrospectively, i.e. I don't know when, or if I am ****ed off.
It's like there is a time-delay between the thing annoying me, and the realisation I am annoyed.
With speaking, sometimes people think I have lost my voice, especially in winter.
I worry, it looks like I am mocking people, and am considering putting a note on the wall of my home, for visitors, or in my wallet, a la donor card style, saying:
"I am unable to speak right now, but can listen, and hear what you say, it's just that I cannot respond"
I may do this, before I have another episode like it, as during these episodes, I cannot write, as words wont form in my mind, for expression outwards at these times.
If anyone has a problem with that, or you, OP, then that is their problem, as it is a disability, and therefore, not a fault.
I really like this coping mechanism. I do the same. I also give myself a 3 second lag before responding to a question - so that I may breath and regain my train of thought. One trick I've learned though is to never rehearse in the same order - otherwise, you're not as open to questions - your stuck to your order.
Roy - all of these strategies have helped me at times when I completely blanked out. Worse case scenario, I've asked the audience (so to speak) to give me a couple of minutes to review my notes to make sure I wasn't forgetting an important point. Don't let yourself fall into the "oh no I can't remember" internal dialogue - turn it around - "Ok, I can't remember right now, but if I breath for a few seconds it'll come back to me".
As for the use of alcohol to self-medicate - I have found that this only exacerbated my anxiety and definitely didn't help my memory. In fact, I generally make sure that I don't have any alcohol the night before the presentation and, I really try to be diligent in getting the 8 hours of sleep.
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
My technique is to wrtie it all out as a paper that I could read if necessary, and practice it a couple of times - and then do my best not to refer to it at all during the actual prsentation.
But if I lose my place, it's there to find it again.
But if I lose my place, it's there to find it again.
I found a few articles Roy -
Public Speaking Anxiety - Preparing to Give a Speech
Anxiety Coach
Public Speaking - Tips for Managing Public Speaking Anxiety
Public Speaking Anxiety - Preparing to Give a Speech
Anxiety Coach
Public Speaking - Tips for Managing Public Speaking Anxiety
I like that technique as well. Many professional broadcasters and politicians, who are experts at dealing with an audience, will often turn their head to one side, look down and to the side for a couple of seconds before responding to a question.
It allows for time to collect one's thoughts as you say, Jazzey, and in body language, looking down and to the side suggests intelligent contemplation...as opposed to looking up or focusing on infinity..which suggests fear and panic..
Now that we are into more formal presentation methods and advice on such, just would like to add my 2 cents. I agree with the tools presented for effective communication, but I feel that it is more important to address your receptive audience with sincere eye contact. Picture yourself sitting opposite a presenter whose eyes dodge every which way except at the person or people he/she is addressing. Since most people are not "acknowledged" oratory professionals, and we as plain human beings, I feel that mutual respect is given one that pauses and regroups their thoughts thus phrazing them in an effective and coherent manner. I realize that this is the optimum, but back to the question of how someone goes about communicating who has become a babbling mouth, for loss of words and thought as I have become.SteveC
I like to integrate both. And you're absolutely right Steve - it depends on the audience really. I think with practice, you become more adept at recognizing the appropriate style. In my line of work, the style is a little more formal - so I've adapted to that - and included the eye contact.
I think these techniques are equally applicable. I have trouble with anxiety - which means I tend to blank out in certain circumstances even when just doing a simple dialogue with someone. I take a few seconds, visualize the points I need/want to make in my mind and go from there. If I'm really in a bad anxiety, I visualize pushing the extraneous thoughts behind a curtain and close the curtain to come back to the point at hand.
I don't know if this is helpful Steve - is this what you meant?
amastie
Member
Important thread. Great replies.
Just want to wish you all the best, Roy.
amastie
Just want to wish you all the best, Roy.
amastie
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