Stress Attack

[Curious]

Steve,
My wife ask me to goto K-mart and get her a phone card for her empty cell phone. While at the electronics dept I forget which card I was suppose to get, and panicked. My mind just quit and all I can do was worry about what I do now. I accidently found the right phone card, but as of late I have had memory lapses, and that troubles me greatly, the word alheimers comes to mind. I am due for a doctors checkup next month.

My wife has Lymphedema and if I have alheimers, my wife will have to goto a nursing home. I will be devastated. I still have high strung attacks or anxiety attacks, but with medicine they are under control. I am now saying "it's always something". I can't loose it for her sake, but I am only human. Paul/high strung

 

[Retired]

Re: Stress Attack,

Paul,

The only reliable way to be assessed for any form of memory impairment is to ask your doctor for a referral to a specialist who can test you.

We all have memory lapses, especially when feeling stressed. If you add feeling anxious to a time when multiple stressors are affecting you, and if you experience the symptom of panic, then you could feel you're losing control.

Stressors are cumulative, so while you might be fine with coping with one or two situations, if there are five six or seven situations that occur simultaneously, it could be more than you are prepared to handle.

A therapist could help you identify the stressors in your life, and provide specific strategies to deal with them as they occur, that might help you manage the accumulation.

Think of it as every stressor is a monkey on your back. You might be able to get around and manage quite capably with one or two of those pesky monkeys clinging to your back, but if you have four, five, six or seven, you suddenly can't hold up with the load.

As another monkey tries jumping on your back, you need to have a way to get it off, so you can keep the load to a manageable level.

 

[Curious]

Re: Stress Attack,

Steve,
I do not know about how many attacks I have had as of late. I have a appointment next month and then I will tell my doctor everything I feel has happened to me. I will do ever what he says, except see my wife goes to a nursing home, without me. We go together. high strung.

 

[Retired]

Re: Stress Attack,

except see my wife goes to a nursing home, without me. We go together.

Having to accept and arrange for chronic care of a spouse is indeed, perhaps one of the most difficult decisions any of us would have to make.

The decision should not be made lightly, but it should be made rationally, Paul. You and your wife know your needs and your situation, and if the care your wife requires exceeds your physical and mental ability, then, as has been said, you need to reach out for help.

Maybe the first step could be to arrange for a part time care giver to come into your home from time to time to give you a break. If your wife's needs become more intensive, and she requires assisted living in a care facility, and if you are physically and mentally independent, not requiring assistance, I would caution about transferring yourself into a "nursing home" environment.

I've seen it happen with friends and older relatives, where, out of love and dedication, the active spouse joins the needy spouse in a nursing home and because of limited physical or intellectual stimulation and activity in the nursing home, the active spouse deteriorates faster then the needy spouse.

Discuss your options with as many people within your support network as possible...friends, family, doctors, spiritual advisors to get the perspectives of people who know you and your situation, before making such s drastic decision.

You can help and be supportive of your wife, even if she is in assisted living, without sacrificing your own quality of life, by remaining independent as long as you can.

 

[Curious]

Re: Stress Attack,

Steve,
Understood. Will study this and get back to you. Thank you for your advise and patience. high strung

 

[MHealthJo]

Re: Stress Attack,

Also I'm not sure how it is in your area Paul, but I think in many places there are elderly homes and villages that have different 'wings', or like, different sections for people with different needs. Maybe it would be possible to find a way where you could be not far from each other physically and spend a lot of time together, but with the more well person still having access to things they are able to do, other people at a similar stage of life, etc.

Steve's advice is really good - getting a good amount of thoughts and information from various people and services near you will be a great idea.

Maybe when you see your doctor, ask him or the office staff there, where you should phone or visit to get advice and information about all the different care options.

 

[Curious]

Re: Stress Attack,

I think she has given up. I sense that. She is very touchy about nursing homes because she use to be a nurse and worked in one. There are no Lymphadema doctors in our general area. The last lymphadema doctor destroy her feet and we cannot sue. I see and understand where she is coming from. We take it from day to day. I will not desert her. I will wait until she breaks down, then we will have a serious talk. That' all I can do for now.

Thanks for the advice, I will keep you informed. hung strung

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

Re: Stress Attack,

Is the lymphoidema caused by anything specific?? For example, because my husband had several lymph nodes removed in a necessary surgery, he was informed that it could cause build-up of liquid under that location...

I am curious if her condition would prevent her from leaving the hospital? Because my husband was allowed a day pass once or twice... Are you both from the same city as the hospital? Because sometimes if you ask the staff or patient advocate they might provide you with contacts for volunteers or organizations that can help with temporary accommodations... For example there are some hostels/B&B/donations provided to cancer patients when my husband had that type of surgery/treatment. We were assigned a social worker when we filled out our doctor's questionnaire and we selected "anxiety/financial worries." We were very fortunate to be presented with some grocery gift cards from kind donators...

It might be a benefit to ask someone at the hospital, or maybe even do a Google Search for support in your location... For example, I put in my city/province and the other keywords "financial support lymphoidema" and found some links such as Lymphedema Association of Manitoba and switched out the keyword "financial" with "emotional" and found this: Lymphedema Association of Saskatchewan Inc.

Hope these ideas help you out so you get as much support as you can. My heart goes out to you both! ❤️

 

[Curious]

Jolly,
My wifes hospital was in Lawrenceville,Ga, we have family there. Most doctors do not know that much about Lymphadema. But yes the Lymph nones can keep a patient in the hospital until the so call Lymphadema or the nodes are workedon by the doctor. We have no lymphadema doctors here except in Asheville,N.C. It is not close, but the one my wife went to was about one hundred miles away. We will contact a doctor in Asheville and ask about the help. Thanks. Paul high strung