I've been through so much and just lost my beloved brother in law. My brain keeps sending me suicidal messages to kill myself. I am not thinking about suicide but my brain says just kill yourself put yourself out of misery. Not sure where they are coming from but they are scaring me. I wake up in the middle of the night with these thoughts. I see my therapist next week and will be talking to him about it but not sure what to do in the meantime. I don't know where these thoughts are even coming from but I don't like having them.
- Thread starter Hunter
- Start date
If the thoughts are a coping mechanism:
"What other ways can I cope with my depression, grief, and/or anxiety?"
If the thoughts are obsessive/intrusive:
"Stand firm and let the storm pass."
"These are just thoughts. The more you fight them, the more important they may seem."
"What other ways can I cope with my depression, grief, and/or anxiety?"
If the thoughts are obsessive/intrusive:
"Stand firm and let the storm pass."
"These are just thoughts. The more you fight them, the more important they may seem."
forgetmenot
MVP
Hi Hunter it is very hard dealing with intrusive thoughts. What you can do is try to replace those thoughts with ones that bring you peace and joy like time you had at the beach or with someone you love. also just reinforce to yourself that you are ok and will be seeing your therapist soon so there is help coming. Also try watching a happy movie or show do something to distract yourself from the thoughts sorry you are struggling but know you are not alone ok.
In the past, I have been prescribed a low dose of Abilify (now available as a generic) to augment SSRIs for intrusive suicidal thinking.
And, personally, I know deep down that I would be pretty hard-pressed to kill myself for several reasons: 1. less impulsive with aging and 2.more habituated to the ups and downs of mental illness and life itself and 3. my OCD/anxiety is protective against attempting suicide since you can never know for sure what will happen, like ending up paralyzed, having frequent seizures, or becoming brain-damaged in other ways.
When I lived in Florida, a friend of my husband's attempted suicide and it was shocking to visit her in the ICU while she was still in a coma. When she finally came to, she had frequent seizures and other brain damage until she died years later from the fallout of all that. My brother also went into a light coma after a suicide attempt years ago, but he luckily had no permanent effects to his brain or other organs.
So while suicide is overidealized by people with depression or other tunnel vision as a way of escaping pain, I would not have as much black-and-white thinking in that regard -- even when severely depressed. Still, when very triggered, I sometimes engage in ruminative thinking about suicide as a habitual coping mechanism (which obviously does not help me in the long term).
And, personally, I know deep down that I would be pretty hard-pressed to kill myself for several reasons: 1. less impulsive with aging and 2.more habituated to the ups and downs of mental illness and life itself and 3. my OCD/anxiety is protective against attempting suicide since you can never know for sure what will happen, like ending up paralyzed, having frequent seizures, or becoming brain-damaged in other ways.
When I lived in Florida, a friend of my husband's attempted suicide and it was shocking to visit her in the ICU while she was still in a coma. When she finally came to, she had frequent seizures and other brain damage until she died years later from the fallout of all that. My brother also went into a light coma after a suicide attempt years ago, but he luckily had no permanent effects to his brain or other organs.
So while suicide is overidealized by people with depression or other tunnel vision as a way of escaping pain, I would not have as much black-and-white thinking in that regard -- even when severely depressed. Still, when very triggered, I sometimes engage in ruminative thinking about suicide as a habitual coping mechanism (which obviously does not help me in the long term).
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