Michavalos said:I think of my family before doing anything.
..and your family's devotion to you should remain your focus, as this is your reason for living. Suicide is never a solution to the problems with which you are dealing, because with support and help, other, more meaningful solutions are possible. Life is a precious gift, too valuable to waste by suicide.
Seek out the help you need and find out your options.
Are you receiving therapy at the moment, Michavalos?