Talking in therapy

[boi]

I know this subject has been discussed before somewhere in the forum but I was curious about something. I am going to eventually have to talk about situations that have happened to me in the past. I am so scared, before I go to therapy I play it over in my head, how I will say it, what words to use etc..then I get there and I dont say anything. It's like the words cant come up, they are stuck. Maybe it will be easier when I'm "ready". But what makes me ready? Will I know? Should I force myself to talk?
thanks

 

[Jazzey]

Re: talking in therapy

Hi boi,

To help me over some of my fears, I tend to be brutally honest with my psychologist. For instance, I'll say something like: "there's something I'm not discussing because I can't find the words, (or, I feel anxiety whenever I start talking about it". This usually starts the conversation going.

At other times, when I knew there was a great likelihood that I'd walk out of her office without ever telling her what was on my mind - I'd just quickly spill the beans (usually when I had my back to her - for whatever reason, that made it easier).

These are just some of my coping mechanisms boi. But, you asked some really good questions:

But what makes me ready?

- You will know when you're ready. Sometimes we just have to be ok with our fears. I tend to mull them over: "what exactly am I afraid of? (usually judgment)" "why am I not disclosing this important piece of information? (I'm afraid of what she'll think of me or those in my life) - at the end of the day, the psychologist is genuinely there to hear us out - I really believe they don't judge. Otherwise, they wouldn't be able to do the profession they have chosen.

Should I force myself to talk?

Maybe just think a little more about all the reasons why you aren't talking. I think this will be a good start in walking down that path to discussion with your psychologist. Sometimes we leave things on the surface. If you were to really examine the reasons why you're not talking, maybe you wouldn't be so quiet....At least, this was true for me.

The other thing is that some of the topics are extremely painful, emotionally. But, for me at least, once I throw it out there, it's kind of the bandaid kind of hurt - hurts for those first few moments when I'm getting the words out, then I'm overwhelmed with relief...And a little proud that I was able to say what was so hard to get out.

I'll be thinking of you boi - feel free to tell us how it went. I'd love to hear how you made out on this one - I know how difficult it is - I'm still going through the process myself. It's so much easier for me to give you this advice versus putting it into action myself when I'm with my Psychologist.

All my kindest thoughts of support boi:support:!!

 

[boi]

thanks so much for your encouragement Jazzey. Maybe I will try next month, when I go back for my next appointment. It is probably a fear of judgement and probably alot of shame that I carry with me as well. I will definetly think about it though over the holidays and hopefully Ill be ready to talk.
If it takes me longer than I have to be ok with myself as well.

 

[Jazzey]

It is probably a fear of judgement and probably alot of shame that I carry with me as well. I will definetly think about it though over the holidays and hopefully Ill be ready to talk.

I'll wish you strength boi - these are usually the items that keep us quiet. I'm sorry you're feeling this way - and I really do understand it

I'll try to put into practice the advice I gave you myself for my upcoming appointment.

You'll be in my thoughts and I'll look forward to hearing how you made out boi - even if you decide you're not quite ready to "spill the beans"

Much support your way and remember to enjoy the holidays:support:
===============

If it takes me longer than I have to be ok with myself as well.

Absolutely - this is key boi - sorry, forgot my train of thought!

 

[Into The Light]

jazzey is right, the best way to try and get started on things is to tell your therapist there is something you need to talk about but that you are having a difficult time getting the words out. it doesn't mean you even have to tell them that session what it's about - you could just spend time talking about what's holding you back and get some of that resolved.

you may never feel truly 100% comfortable and ready, so don't wait for that moment. what i find is i have my moments of still being afraid but forging ahead anyway - and my therapist knows i am scared, which helps. but once i've done it there is such a sense of relief i try to remind myself that i will feel better afterwards every time i have difficulty.

 

[boi]

hey ITL
yeah, I have already said to my therapist that there is something I probably need to talk about but its too difficult. Even saying that was really hard so at least I got that out. I could hardly look at my t in the eye. I dont think I will ever feel 100% comfortable so I may as well bite the bullet and do it and hopefully feel better after. I also feel like I've blown everything out of proportion now that I have kinda built it up made it into a big deal when maybe its not really. Either way, I need to say it eventually so I guess I am just preparing

 

[amastie]

I *so* much like what Jazzey said too, boi. I could not add to what has been said. Only wanted you to know that you have one more person cheering on for you

amastie

 

[boi]

thanks amastie

 

[Marcel]

I know this subject has been discussed before somewhere in the forum but I was curious about something. I am going to eventually have to talk about situations that have happened to me in the past. I am so scared, before I go to therapy I play it over in my head, how I will say it, what words to use etc..then I get there and I dont say anything. It's like the words cant come up, they are stuck. Maybe it will be easier when I'm "ready". But what makes me ready? Will I know? Should I force myself to talk?
thanks

I have tried to find out whether hypnotherapy can be used to help a person "talk" in therapy but haven't been able to locate any discussions on the matter. Does anyone know whether hypnotherapy can be used to convince a person to talk about issues while under hypnosis that they just can't seem to talk about when they are conscious (because as boi noted above, while conscious you want to say the words but they are stuck and you just can't get any of them out no matter how hard you try during therapy sessions).

Thanks for any comments you might have.