Ashley-Kate
MVP
I wanted to make a list of the things that i have realized i missed out on as i spent most of my childhood and adolescents in my anorexia way of life.
I look a my life and i don't feel regret about the choices i made and still i don't believe that my anorexia was a choice but i feel sad by what it cost me. i look at my twin sister and think how she is so full of life and joy and that she is so strong and i envy that cause i wounder what kind of person would i be today had i not went through anorexia!
I finally decided to live and every day i struggle to reach life i guess one day it will be easier but i always remind myself that through my anorexia i thought i was fighting for what i believed in that i was fighting to be different but the thing is i was fighting to dye and today i am fighting to live it is the hardest fight there is but it is the one that is worth it!
So to you girls and boys that think you can't make it let me tell you that we all can that we all deserve to live no matter what we think we did wrong in our lives we don't deserve to die and especially not this way!
so fight cause you can!
Ashley
- being at birthday parties and feeling comfortable
- talking to friends about boys, about clothes, about make-up, (cause i was too busy hiding my body why would i have wanted for anyone to like it)
- Being trusted by family, once they found out that i was anorexic the trust was no longer there. They knew that i would lie no matter what to get away from a meal.
- going to the movies or simply going out with friends and having fun
- having fun
- going out on my 18th b-day and drinking for the first time( in Quebec thats legal at 18)
- enjoying life
- enjoying food ( one day i may enjoy it again)
I look a my life and i don't feel regret about the choices i made and still i don't believe that my anorexia was a choice but i feel sad by what it cost me. i look at my twin sister and think how she is so full of life and joy and that she is so strong and i envy that cause i wounder what kind of person would i be today had i not went through anorexia!
- today i go out for a walk and i am not counting the steps the minutes the calories burned i am relaxing,
- i go out to the restaurant with some friends and although i normally take the meal that will be the "easiest" for me to take without feeling guilty i am enjoying the time i am with them
I finally decided to live and every day i struggle to reach life i guess one day it will be easier but i always remind myself that through my anorexia i thought i was fighting for what i believed in that i was fighting to be different but the thing is i was fighting to dye and today i am fighting to live it is the hardest fight there is but it is the one that is worth it!
So to you girls and boys that think you can't make it let me tell you that we all can that we all deserve to live no matter what we think we did wrong in our lives we don't deserve to die and especially not this way!
so fight cause you can!
Ashley
