Third night in a row with urges to SI

[kelsischanging]

I used to SI all the time. Then about 8 months ago, I started working with my therapist and it has been 8 months since I've engaged in any form of SI. I have had urges here and there but I have been having very strong urges to cut these past 3 nights.

I have been trying to reach out to two friends who know about my problem but that has only been helping a little. I have been trying distraction, meditation, and every other form of avoidance I know but I'm running low on ambition to try and fight these urges.

Tonight, I'm just so ready to give up and SI. I figure why keep fighting.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Always Changing]

Re: 3rd night in a row with urges to SI

Hi Kelsey,
1st off. Please don't give up, I appreciate you are struggling with this and it is so hard for you right now. :hug:
Have you any idea as to why after 8mths the urges are so strong, did something come up in therapy do you think that has re-ignited the urges. Not asking you to answer here on the forum just maybe if you can think back to the first night and see what comes up for you. Maybe if are you able to write out your thoughts around it, it may alleviate the struggle some bit.
When do you see your therapist again?

 

[kelsischanging]

Re: 3rd night in a row with urges to SI

I see my therapist in two weeks...i would move up the appointment but I'm working 2 jobs right now and am just too busy.

 

[Always Changing]

Re: 3rd night in a row with urges to SI

Two weeks is a bit away when you are struggling with this, is there any way you can call her for some extra support between appointments?

I figure why keep fighting.

You have every reason to keep fighting, I am sure it wasn't easy for you. Look how far you have come, you have been doing this for months and you are to be congratulated on your achievement. Hang in there Kelsey you can do this, have faith in your self and if you find you can't then stay with us here till you can build it up again. I hope that made sense.

 

[Banned]

Re: 3rd night in a row with urges to SI

Hi kelseym,

I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling, but congrats on eight months of not SIing. That's magnificent!

I agree with AC that two weeks is quite a ways away when you are struggling so badly. I can appreciate working and having to change work schedules to accommodate a sooner appointment - can you have a phone session with your therapist to hold you over until your appointment?

You've probably read all the same articles I have on SIing, and it sounds like you're putting alot of effort into not giving in. If anything, I'd just remind you to take it each minute at a time, distract yourself as best you can - can you get out and go for a walk, or play some Solitaire, or even work extra hours? Can you write about what's possibly triggered you at this point in time?

Remember that for every minute you can resist, you're one minute closer to being past the urge. That may sound lame or cliche, but I know for me it really helped. I hope it helps you too. :hug:

 

[Always Changing]

Hi Kelseym,
Just wondering how you have been doing these past few days.

thinking of you.

:hug: