Toddler's sleeping pattern disrupted

[diane]

I have a 2 year old son who used to sleep right through the night with no problems since he was a baby . But recently he is waking up in the night very unhappy and calling my name repeatedly ... I have a 4 year old son who goes to bed about half an hour after his brother , they share a room , i am having problems with him aswell , finding him crawling into my bed at the early hours of the morning , and now it seems the youngest has picked up on this ....

My youngest son also seems to be now confussing bedtime to playtime , he sometimes sits up and screams in his bed asking to watch tv at 2am in the morning , when i try and settle him down , his temper rises , i then tell him to try and get back to sleep and he refuses and now too climbs into my bed ..

I am now having my sleeping pattern disrupted aswell as i now have to get up to help them both get back to sleep ... aiding in a not so awake mother each morning ..

The routine here is as follows
we eat our dinner at half past five, then they watch some tv till about half six , then it is bath time , and at seven my youngest goes to bed with a story , half seven is my eldests bed time .. im not sure what i am doing wrong it is probably staring me straight in the face but i just cant seem to get them to rest nicely at night and stay in there own beds .. any suggestions or new ideas that i could try would be most appreciated

i am a single mother and a full time mother and have been finding alot of things very disappointing , even with there behaviors .

 

[David Baxter PhD]

One of the things I learned about parenting when my children were young is that as soon as you figure out what it is you're supposed to be doing at any given age or stage they've morphed into the next age or stage and you have to learn a new set of rules.

What I'd suggest you do is comfort them when they wake up, perhaps even lie down beriefly with them in their room, but try being firm about them sleeping in their own bed. Try experimenting with little variations like letting them have a nightlight, or soft music at low volume, or the door open a crack and see if that helps.

 

[diane]

thanks David .. thing is i have already done all of this , i have a night lamp on , leave the door wide open , have given them warm milk , thing is i suspect that what you are saying is very true , that once you master the first stage they move on to the next one .. clever beavers i think hehehhee

ill keep trying , its all i can do anyway

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Yes. I guess the next step then is to be firm and consistent - it may seem like it's more work initially but it will pay off.

"No, we all sleep in our own beds here. You sleep in your bed. Mommy sleeps in mommy's bed. I'll come and stay with you for two minutes while you settle down."

 

[Eunoia]

Hey Diane, I don't have kids myself so I can't help you out in terms of personal experience but I have taken classes on child development, parenting etc... so don't take anything for face value, they're just suggestions... some of the things I seem to recall are that it is, as David has said, a trial & error kind of thing. Sleeping problems are actually quite common in the preschool years and usually decrease with age. Having said this, it is important to develop good sleeping habits, thus positive sleep associations for the child. Children between the ages of 18mths- 3yrs usually need about 11-13hrs of sleep, which it sounds like your youngest one would be getting if he goes to sleep at 7... IF he goes to sleep then, lol.From age 4-12 they usually need about 10hrs of sleep... Establishing a regular, enjoybale, nighttime routine that prepares the kids for bed is key, you might want to think about a bath, songs, stories...anything really to relax your kids. The activities should be restful & relaxing, not stimulating... also I would say your kids are probably playing off of each other, if one gets up, the other one wants to too, so all of this modelling obviusly makes it more difficult for you.. I hope you find something that works!

this website might give you some ideas, or a more elaborate explanation:
http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/parenting_tips/sleep/
- there's a link to Richard Ferber sleeping methods at the bottom & more articles