Transfer Addiction

[kelsischanging]

I'm worried. Last January (2012), I had gastric bypass surgery. I'm doing absolutely fabulous with the surgery. I've lost 185 pounds (I was extremely large to begin with and still have another 70 pounds to lose). BUT, I'm afraid I'm falling into one of the problems that they warn us about pre-surgery, transfer addiction... for me, it's alcohol mainly wine. I love wine. I love wine too much. What made me get to the point of needing gastric bypass surgery are the same traits that make me have problems with alcohol. I have an all or nothing personality. If I open that bottle of wine, you better believe I have to finish it. Then there is the whole issue that the surgery took away my single biggest coping mechanism...food. I also used cutting quite a bit but have not been struggling with that as much. Alcohol makes me feel good...the same kind of good that food did.

I had a big enough problem with alcohol my senior year of high school (2006) that I had to do five months of intensive outpatient counseling.

I told my counselor about my concern today (while I was half tipsy after having a two martini lunch). But I wasn't able to be completely honest about how concerned I am. Two weeks ago, I ended up in the emergency room after my face met a wall (I don't remember any of it because I blacked out).

I'm taking the fact that I'm worried about it as a good sign...maybe I can turn it around...although I feel like that is a lie I'm trying to convince myself of...just like I used to convince myself I didn't need surgery, I could lose the weight on my own...

I do and don't know what to do at the same time. Maybe the real point is I know what to do (stop drinking COMPLETELY) but I am afraid I will not be able to do it.

Thank you for reading this.

 

[forgetmenot]

You need to get back into therapy so you can stop this addictive behavior now ok You have already been shown how destructive it is Call your doctor your therapist and get into a detox treatment. There are so many other ways to cope hun without destroying yourself

 

[Cat Dancer]

Yes, this is a major thing to deal with in counseling. It does sound like you're trading one thing for another.

 

[kelsischanging]

I'm sure I don't need to go inpatient or need any type of intensive outpatient...I should probably just make it a point to talk about it with my current therapist (that I see about every 2ish weeks or so).

 

[Cat Dancer]

This definitely seems like something to discuss in therapy.

 

[Banned]

Kelsey do you think you need to see your therapist more often until you get this under control or are you comfortable with the frequency you are at?

 

[kelsischanging]

I'm going to make sure that I am consistent with my visits with my therapist and make sure that we talk about this each time. I'm very good at avoidance. I realized this week how big of an issue this is when I realized that I have to drink nightly and not only do I have to drink nightly but it's the motivation behind the drinking...I'm drinking to get drunk. I've taken such huge steps to get heathly (surgery, whole foods, no carbs, ect) and now I'm jeopordizing that with alcohol...if I'm strong enough to go through all of that, I can deal with life without alcohol. I am stronger than this. Thanks for your support!