Triggers

[Ashley-Kate]

hello, wel latetly i have been doign well i have not yet gotten a hold of my famous social worker but i have been able to keep my head above water for the time beong to await my appointment at the clinic on monday. i as many girls have difficulty keeping the same weight like 2 pounds difference every dasy witch is normal cause i should not be weighing myself everyday... well anyway sometimes it goes higher than the previous day and others it goes lower and must i admit that triggers thoughts like okay i lost so if i restrict i could lose even more i know these thoughts are not good and i fight them everyday and mostly beet them but latly i have been sick .. i was supposed to go for a blood test 2 weeks ago for my anemia but sort of got into a schedual conflict and had to rescedual to next month but during that time i have to wait for another perscription for iron and b12 vitamis so i am week and i am losing more weight than i normally do on a regular bassis and that is making me think of how it is enjoyable and i know once i am in it it won't be as fun anymore but i don't know what to do i am still at a healthy weight and good at that in some ways.. but i don't know what to do to fight off the thoughts of anorexia...
okay i hope i was clear .. i can't even understand what i wrote ...? but hope you do
thanks for everything
chow.
ashley :roll:

 

[Cat Dancer]

Re: triggers...

You do make sense. And it is so hard what you are struggling with. Is there anyone else you can contact? It seems like that social worker should have gotten back with you by now. I really hope you can find someone to see very soon.

 

[Eunoia]

you know that those 2lbs more or less isn't actual weight loss- it couldn't possibly be w/ that much variance and ups and downs all the time. A lot of it probably has to do w/ water weight, but I get your point- it's one of those other mind games we play. You know what I sometimes think? that all of the "games", all of the rules- they take so much effort and time, and in the end, it doesn't make too much of a difference, I think it just all balances everything out- that or my body is just refusing to really react to anything I do- sort of the idea of a set point. but then, you kind of have to wonder, why all this work to just- sit at one point? isn't that what most people do? And I think that's what recovery is about- finding ways to be comfortable with being at a healthy weight but being HEALTHY while you're at that weight. triggers are probably one of the worst things about an ED, along w/ those constant thoughts... I don't know if this helps at all, but what if you were to try and cut down on weighing yourself, say instead of every day only every 2nd or 3rd day as a start BUT on the days that you don't weigh yourself try to do something to keep your anxiety down- b/c if you just try to stop a behaviour and have nothing to replace it with it's easy to go into that 'freak out' mode- remember how you posted on tips to overcome an ed? you said something like when you eat, eat w/ others so that you will not be able to focus too much on the food or b&p, while being with a friend etc to keep your anxiety down- it's the same idea. I hope your appt. goes well and I REALLY hope your social worker will start doing her job- can you request a different one? definitely bring it up on Mon.