Trouble finding a therapist

[Crazy Cat]

Ok, I apologize if there already is a post regarding this subject, but since I'm BPD, major depressive, ADD, I don't have the wherewithall to look for it.

I'm calling around to find a psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist....ANYONE who can help me with the above. Most say they can't deal with the BPD. Most psychiatrists will see me for 5 minutes (for $300) to give me scripts. Others are the "textbook" therapists that end up with the "you want to marry your father and you hate your mother" type of synopsis.

How in the world do I find a professional who will listen, prescribe the correct meds & is experienced?? I don't live in a particularly urban area, so the pickings are slim if I want to stay close (which again, the depression & all - its a miracle I even leave the house).

I'm just so frustrated with this! I've been trying to find a therapist for years....I'll finally find one good one out of 20, but then we can go just so-far. I've even been to counselors who pretty much charge me $100 for 45 minutes and tell me THEIR stories.

What kinds of questions can I ask a potential candidate for a doc, therapist, etc?? I don't want the "textbook" or the "pray and it will all go away" or "you're in the black part now but move toward the colors (while looking at a stained glass window decoration)" (yes I've heard all of these things).



Thanks.

Adriane

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Questions:

"I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personalty Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, and Attention Deficit Dosorder. Do you have experience in treating these issues? If so, how long have you been practising as a therapist? If not, can you recommend someone who does have such experience?"

I don't know how internet aware therapists are in your area but you might try a Google search using "psychologists {name of your town and state}" as a query. If that doesn't yield results, you could try "psychotherapists {name of your town and state}" or "therapists {name of your town and state}". You'll want to get someone with at least a few years experience, given your combination of issues.

Then you could try calling or emailing anyone who shows up as listed there with the question suggested above.

I believe the Psychology Today website also has a therapist finder which may help, or you could look up your area of the world at Psychlinks Directory of Therapists and Counsellors?:: Psychlinks Directory of Therapists although that won't be as extensive.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

See also:

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/therapy-and-therapists/21353-interviewing-for-a-therapist.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/therapy-...g-mental-health-care-when-money-is-tight.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/therapy-and-therapists/17176-have-to-find-new-therapist.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/therapy-...ychiatrist-and-psychologist-or-therapist.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/therapy-and-therapists/11459-how-to-find-the-best-therapist-for-you.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/therapy-...-youre-looking-for-counseling-or-therapy.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/therapy-and-therapists/6052-choosing-an-appropriate-therapist.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/therapy-...n-choosing-a-mental-health-care-provider.html

 

[Crazy Cat]

Thanks David.

I will definitely go thru the steps you've given me.

Its amazing....you're frustrated enough with all the psychological problems, yet finding a compatable therapist/doctor makes it 10 times worse!

 

[Daniel E.]

Most say they can't deal with the BPD.

If possible, I would contact therapists who see a lot of hospital patients, e.g. therapists who work at hospital outpatient clinics.

 

[PuppeesRLuveeS]

Hi, I'm new here and am experiencing the same problem with finding someone to make a diagnosis. I have done my homework and looked into it, but quite honestly have been offed by a couple when asking questions, have had others not return my calls and so on. I located a psychotherapist who has many bipolar clients and advertised DBT training. She was very responsive, but also did not feel comfortable discussing BPD (so this was probably a red flag). I am in such a bad state and desperate for help, that I scheduled an appointment. I began to discuss my depression, mood swings, rages and inability to regulate my emotions and accompanying over-reactions, but once again she saw me as just depressed and anxious, because I concealed my behavior (as I have done my whole life) to all accept those very close to me. She even went so far as to say "I can spot a borderline right away ... I get a knot in my stomach". So needless to say I was not very open to disclose much.

I like the suggestion to seek those in a psychiatric hospital setting, but since I am new to all this, that quite frankly scares me beyond belief. I mean after all I have been in denial and or carefully hiding this for over 30 years and the fear of the repercussions of albeit, necessary diagnosis, is frightening.

Thanks and I will await your comments.

 

[Daniel E.]

One option may be seeing a psychiatrist first. In addition to providing a diagnosis (at some point), a psychiatrist should be able to recommend a therapist in the area.

 

[PuppeesRLuveeS]

Hi Daniel,

The therapist I mentioned above did refer me to the psychiatrist she works with (because last week I had some very bad days). So I called and asked specifically about doing a psychological evaluation and asked if she treated BPD and they said yes. I am just concerned that this psychiatrist works with the apparently BPD-averse therapist and if that is a red flag. What do you think? Should I just start over or let my GP locate one? (I have been avoiding that too...unfortunately :hide

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I may be misunderstanding your post, but if the psychiatrist treats BPD, and you're going to be seeing the psychiatrist as your primary therapist, it may not matter at all whether the psychologist treats BPD patients.

It's not unusual in a group practice for people to have different specialties, so that when there is an issue that one person doesn't feel qualified to treat they can make the referral to someone in the practice who does treat that issue or disorder.

 

[PuppeesRLuveeS]

Hi David, That makes sense to me also and that is why I made the appointment. I am just "over-thinking" (as I often do...sigh) and just trying to avoid a bad experience or a wrong diagnosis (which I have heard many describe). Thanks for your input, it is very logical and I need to start somewhere and not wait for the "perfect" doctor, situation ... etc.

 

[Crazy Cat]

Since I first posted this topic, I had found a psychologist that would try to help me, but since I don't have insurance, I can't afford it.

He has never treated a borderline before but does CBT with other patients. He was really interested to see if he could handle a borderline patient so together we decided that he'd try his method with me and basically feel eachother out on how its working. Unfortunately, at $120 a session, I can't do it. I'm on disability because of my mental diagnosis. Plus, I may be wrong here, but I feel that if I'm his "BDP guinea pig", I should get some sort of better deal.

I also wanted to add that I had a horrible time trying to find someone to correctly diagnose me too. I'd seen the text-book, just out of school psychologists that are the "you hate your mother and want to marry your father" types. I was seeing one therapist on and off for about 10 years until I had a "misunderstanding" and basically told him off. (borderline anyone?)

Finally, I started doing my own research and realized that I may be borderline and ADD. I was seeing a psychiatrist at the time who diagnosed me as Borderline Personality Disorder 2 after less than 5 minutes of meeting me. I never agreed with that but figured she was the doctor, so now I'm taking meds that I don't need to be taking, but I'm afraid to come off of them. (Lamictal 150mg) I already take 250mg daily of Zoloft for the depression, which isn't helping anymore either.
When I mentioned to this doctor that I thought I might be borderline, her exact words to me were, "so what do you want me to do about it?" I swear, its word for word. Nice, huh? I said she was the doctor, what next? She said she wasn't going to prescribe me more meds. That was it. So I never went back after that. (In a side note - she tried to bilk my insurance company at the time)

*Just a quick interesting note: I started seeing a new general practitioner and he was going to write refill scripts for me on the Zoloft & Lamictal. He REFUSED to write the Zoloft for 250 mgs. because he said the maximum dose is only 200 mgs. I explained that I had been taking 250 mgs. for over 2 years and I'd start getting those withdrawal symptoms - I hate those! - and he still refused. So I ended up going back to my old gen. pract. The new doc told me to see a new psych for the 250, but I explained that I didn't have the money to see one. He said it was my problem.

*Another quick note: I had gotten addicted to pain pills & saw a counselor who is affiliated with an organization that the name escapes me right now (not AA or NA). One day I went to her and was crying - my husband was with me and they ganged up on me (I was having a bad time with my husband) and the counselor actually told me she wouldn't talk to me until I took more pain meds and calmed down!


A couple years ago I went to another psychiatrist group that did officially diagnose me with borderline & ADD in addition to major depression. However, the psych and I didn't like eachother, so I left.

The for the disability application, I had to see a state appointed psychiatrist for their own evaluation. It was maybe a 10 minute meeting where he asked me general questions and I didn't really have a chance to explain my answers. I thought he was doing a preliminary and then we'd cover what he wanted to. He had his back toward me the entire time I was there. At one point he turned around and said "why are you so angry"? I was talking normally to him and we weren't talking about anything that made me angry, so I was surprised by this comment. I was also surprised that someone finally hit on something that I just couldn't seem to put into words (it sounds simple but it isn't easy sometimes). As I was leaving he said I was a classic borderline and had the "right" (typical?) background for it.

So I still can't get help, even though I found someone who might be able to work with me. I know these docs have to make a living, but with all the other counseling I've ever had, I've spent a fortune and don't really feel like spending more. $120 for 50 minutes isn't that bad but others are $300 for 40 minutes! And they DON'T take insurance anyway!

So you can see I've had my share of counseling horror stories. And these are only a few!

Adriane

 

[Banned]

Hi Crazy Cat (love the name!)

I just wanted to chime in and say that I hope you can figure something out soon. I'm not familiar with the American system and how it works with disability, insurance, and billing. My experiences with therapy have been the opposite - really positive and affirming, so I hope you will keep looking until you can find the right person for you. I know it's hard but try not to get frustrated with the process, because then you are seeing things through "tainted lenss'" which makes it even harder.

 

[Daniel E.]

Crazy Cat,

I assume you are awaiting a decision regarding Social Security disability. As you probably know, people who are on Social Security (SSDI or SSI) are eligible to receive Medicaid. I don't know what Medicaid offers in your state, but I would assume they would at least pay for a psychiatrist.

BTW:
NJ Mental Health Cares
NJ211 (United-Way-funded services, including mental health counseling by Catholic Family Services)

 

[PuppeesRLuveeS]

Hi Adriane,

I am so sorry for all you have been through. Unfortunately I have heard this from many and that is was utterly terrifies me. Even when you recognize you need help, you have to be put through this crap. All diseases have similar stories, especially when it is a difficullt diagnosis and treatement. I experienced this with a cancer dx, but I think the way people with mental illness are treated is dispicable. I never knew it until I tried to get help myself. Again, I am very sorry for all you have been through and maybe as Daniel suggests, you can try getting SSI disability and Medicaid. Good luck my friend.

 

[Crazy Cat]

Daniel & Puppee (hope you don't mind that I call you that!)

I did get approved for disability back in June (on my first try). Even my doctor was surprised because he said anyone he's ever known who had applied with a mental illness dx were either turned down the first time & approved the second or never approved at all. I didn't know whether I should be happy I got it on the first try or afraid that I may be worse than I thought! mg: :lol:

I know that the case worker mentioned something about Medicare when I first applied and I think he said I'd have to be covered for 6 months prior to being eligible for it. I thought I'd get some sort of notice in the mail but I haven't, so I guess I should call.

I don't know, but I feel embarrassed to have to use medicare (or medicaid). To be perfectly honest, it bothers me that I'd be taking something away from the senior citizens and I don't want to look destitute. I don't mean to sound like I'm judging anyone who uses either service, I just judge myself. Am I being silly?

Adriane urr:

 

[Daniel E.]

When I applied for disability years ago, my primary motivation was getting Medicaid/Medicare to prevent my family from "losing the family farm" in case I got into an accident and needed major surgery, rehabilitation, etc. That's why I even bought temporary, catastrophic health insurance for a while.

In any case, not accepting Medicaid/Medicare may seem altruistic but it's not, IMHO. From a utilitarian perspective, I think putting yourself first will save the goverment money in the long run. Certainly, few things in life have a better return-on-investment than mental health care and preventive medicine. Something else to consider: A lot of illegal immigrants have Medicaid, so shouldn't you be entitled to the same benefit? And since you worked long enough to be eligible for Medicare, you no doubt had Social Security taxes withdrawn from a number of paychecks.

BTW, one can have both Medicaid and Medicare, with Medicare as the primary insurance. Medicare currently only pays about half the cost of seeing a psychiatrist or therapist, though this is changing with the new mental health parity laws. I know that by 2014, the Medicare copayment will be no more than 20 percent for outpatient psych appointments.

 

[PuppeesRLuveeS]

Hi Crazy Cat .... Puppees is purrrrfect LOL

Don't be so hard on yourself sweetheart. I laugh a little (not at you, but with you) because you are just like me with you insecurity about why things happen and feeling more for others than yourself...this is typical BPD for some of us ...

You were approved, probably because the case worker felt nice that day or you were their one approval for the week or something LOL, and so lucky for you. Don't be ashamed or feel bad about getting assistance that you need and are just as deserving as anyone else. Let it help you so you can get better and feel good about yourself and enjoy your life

and yes you are silly ...but I love it! ... keep smiling and stay in touch. :sparkle:

PS I love you signature line too!