Urge to change

[Prox]

I have heard aobut a theory that people are constantly looking for some change in their lives. They are trying to escape their own life by creating some illusion. They might even get too carried away with their ideas and will start thinking about the illusion more than they think about the real world. They however realize where they are and what life they are leading, but mentally, they are already in their other life.

I know it sounds very vage, but it’s a rather vage theory. Can you please comment on it and state your opinions. Thank you.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Hello, Prox -- welcome to PsychLinks Online Forums.

I'm not sure about the specific theory you mention; maybe you can provide some additional details...

However, the immediate thoughts that come to mind:

1. I don't think that it's true that most people crave change. I think it's more likely that the majority of people fear change, or at least find it stressful -- indeed, if you look at the classic list of life stressors, all of them involve change of one sort or another. I think most people value security and predictability in their lives and change is often equated with a threat to security and predictability.

2. Having said that, there are certain personality types (or personality disorders) that seem to have a greater than "normal" need for stimulation -- such people may indeed have low tolerance for routine and therefore crave and seek out novelty and change for its own sake.

3. Buddhists talk about concepts like mindfulness and living in the present -- in this case, they are referring to our tendency to spend too much of our lives dwelling on and ruminating about the past and worrying about the future, which leaves us with no time or energy remaining to actually focus on what is happening in our lives at the moment. This tendency leaves us in effect never living our actual lives because we are always in the past which no longer exists or a hypothetical future which does not yet exist.

 

[Prox]

Im sorry, i cant be more specific because i didnt understand the theory completely and thats why im trying to discuss it with others.

But isnt it true that when people experience a change they usually get a sertain amount of excitement about it? For example, when you change your hair style you want people to notice it. Or when in school you move from your usual desk to a new place in the class room it feels very different and more exciting.
Also, when somebody has a psychological problem, sometimes it is reccomended to make a change in their life. Move to another house, or change profession, etc...

I absolutely agree with your point about Buddhists.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Again, I'd say that depends on the individual. Many people do find that sort of change exciting and energizing. Others experience it more unsettling and stressful.

As an example, think of how you might arrange the furniture in your living room or bedroom. Some people find a way that works for them and leave it that way forever -- if you were to go in and rearrange the furniture, they would feel tense and stressed. Do the same thing for another individual and they would feel happy about the change.