- Thread starter Chain Lightning
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Chain Lightning
Member
Alright you all...everything's great now! :bounce:
I mean seriously...I went to a friend's house last night...I didn't fell like being around people but didn't want to be alone either. We were watching some music videos and then later I became totally fine...and still am. :mrgreen:
I mean seriously...I went to a friend's house last night...I didn't fell like being around people but didn't want to be alone either. We were watching some music videos and then later I became totally fine...and still am. :mrgreen:
ladylore
Account Closed
Great to hear your feeling better.
Chain Lightning
Member
Great to hear your feeling better.
Never mind I jinxed myself. I'm not even sure what I'm feeling right now.
ladylore
Account Closed
That's ok CL. Sometimes that's just the it goes.
Chain Lightning
Member
I talk to my reg doctor last week about all this. She told me of a place I can go for free and give me any help I need. I called the place yesterday but they were busy. I haven't heard back and will call them again tomorrow.
What do you think I should do if they ask me if I have suicidal thoughts. Honestly I do but would never actually do it because of my spiritual beliefs and I couldn't do that to my family/friends. Should I tell them or will they try and hospitalize me?
What do you think I should do if they ask me if I have suicidal thoughts. Honestly I do but would never actually do it because of my spiritual beliefs and I couldn't do that to my family/friends. Should I tell them or will they try and hospitalize me?
ladylore
Account Closed
I highly, highly doubt they would hospitalize you. What they are, are thoughts. And thoughts by themselves can't hurt you. Mentioning the thoughts may allow them to help you more. Good luck and let us know how it goes.
Chain Lightning
Member
Yeah I see what you mean...I don't want to leave anything out. I've never been to any kind of therapy so don't really know what to expect. My doctor said it was "sad" that I am just now asking for any help. She thinks I may have something like bipolar disorder going on...and I didn't tell her the half of it. I'll let you know how it goes. Thanks for the support.
Chain Lightning
Member
I have 2 more weeks before my appointment. Even though I have dealt with this crap all my life, 2 more weeks just feels impossible right now. Every day is a nightmare...even trivial tasks are extremely difficult. Its not like I felt 3 weeks ago when I was just very depressed and had no energy. On one hand I feel great and have so much energy and ideas its annoying but I'm so depressed and feel like I am about to cry most of the time. Sometimes one feeling takes over and it can last 5 minutes or 5 hours I never know what to expect. I went for a walk because I was so amped up on top of being sad. I felt almost like frolicking and climbed on one of those kiddie forts and sat there feeling like I was going to start crying and can't.
It really ****es me off that I am unemployed (because of all this) and almost out of money...now I don't know how long it will take before I become employable and what am I going to do if I run out of money? I don't always have someone to talk to because I annoy people and they don't understand and just criticize me or talk me into getting drunk. One of my friends got mad at me because I said I don't know why I feel this way and he said that I didn't just want to tell him. One day I felt pretty good called another friend and then rode my bike to her place across town and after I got there start crying. She said I just need to get a job...like that was what is wrong. I just don't know how to cope for 2 more weeks of this crap...I don't know what to do. This sucks so bad.
It really ****es me off that I am unemployed (because of all this) and almost out of money...now I don't know how long it will take before I become employable and what am I going to do if I run out of money? I don't always have someone to talk to because I annoy people and they don't understand and just criticize me or talk me into getting drunk. One of my friends got mad at me because I said I don't know why I feel this way and he said that I didn't just want to tell him. One day I felt pretty good called another friend and then rode my bike to her place across town and after I got there start crying. She said I just need to get a job...like that was what is wrong. I just don't know how to cope for 2 more weeks of this crap...I don't know what to do. This sucks so bad.
Always Changing
MVP
I am sorry to hear you feel so bad, I can relate to having to wait for appointments and feeling like it is forever while waiting. I can think 1 maybe 2 ways that may help with the waiting and trying to cope.
1. Ring and see if your apt can be rescheduled to sometime sooner, let them know on the phone how you feel, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain, like an earlier apt also you will have let someone know how you are feeling, that in itself may help a bit.
2. Try not to think so far ahead, don't think of tomorow even, only today or event next hour.
3. Find something you like doing and try to do that (except drinking as that can make you feel worse) . be it reading, writing, walking or whatever.
Other here might have more ideas for you to help you through to your next apt or you might have some of your own.?? What do you like doing, either with friends or on your own?? maybe make a list?
take care
:hug:
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
I'm not sure what part of the world you live in, Lightning, but might you be eligible for some sort of disability?
Chain Lightning
Member
My emotions are so intense that I find it impossible to concentrate most of the day...I have moments of relative clarity like now. I keep a journal and at least walk almost everyday. I don't have the patience for any hobbies...just thinking about them annoys me...but there's got to be something. Thanks.
I'll be sure to ask about disability...didn't think of that.
oscartheman
Member
I wish I knew you, I bring people up all the time. I'm going to tell you what, maybe it is something biological, or maybe you were the one that caused all of this... But there's a good way to be more sure: Why don't you just TRY to be happier one day? Happiness is the opposite of depression. The thing about hapiness is that it can be genuine, biological or BOTH. But try it out for a while.... Just try to be a little happier! I don't know if I'm asking you something that is impossible for you to do... But a lot of people have been in your spot before, and when they TRY, they feel better. If it is biological, a part of it isn't your problem, so don't blame yourself. but a part of it IS in your control. You can CHOOSE to be happy! Right now, you can be as happy as you want to.... It may be a little hard to imagine, but it's not impossible. Plus, the brain doesn't care.... Did you know that one? Even if your laughter is false, or you try to bring yourself up by saying happy things to yourself, even if you are not feeling it or not believing it, the brain will respond anyway. TRick the brain! The happy parts on your brain will be activated, and your brain releases endorphins anyway, even if you are faking your laughter. It can even be something totally stupid, it doesn't matter to the brain. It will get more and more real in no time. So you CAN be happier right now. Snowball efffect! You just have to start little by little... The hardest part is always starting! But you'll gain motivation as soon as you do.... It's a cycle, it aqquires momentum with every other tought. The third toughts has the momentum of the first and the second and so on... So step back, relax a little bit, and give it a go! It can't make you any worse, that's for sure. :lol: You'll like yourself more when you at least TRY to feel better. Your brain will respond, and a part of it will be you really feeling good for yourself by trying. You can just say to yourself: And I have amazing eyes! But it's the emotion that matters... You can say it normally, but REALLY PROUDLY say it. Find always reasons to be happy, even if it's just durning 5 or 10 minutes.... Other people don't know how good CAN they feel, so that's why they feel bad\normal usually. But good news you're starting to wake up... It will be worth it, you don't even know the result.... So try try it! It improves your health, and happy people are crazy magnetic. The hardest thing is starting, but now that you've read this post, you have already started starting.... Just by thinking on the outcome, how good will you feel if you try to bring yourself up, (Which you can't see it yet!) give it a shot! Go on, see if you can do it, which you can, so see how good can you do it! :mrgreen:
There goes my attempt... Hope this posts helps you, I sure liked posting it lol :2thumbs:
I'm going to tell you what, maybe it is something biological, or maybe you were the one that caused all of this... But there's a good way to be more sure: Why don't you just TRY to be happier one day? Happiness is the opposite of depression. The thing about hapiness is that it can be genuine, biological or BOTH. But try it out for a while.... Just try to be a little happier! I don't know if I'm asking you something that is impossible for you to do... But a lot of people have been in your spot before, and when they TRY, they feel better. If it is biological, a part of it isn't your problem, so don't blame yourself. but a part of it IS in your control. You can CHOOSE to be happy! Right now, you can be as happy as you want to.... It may be a little hard to imagine, but it's not impossible. Plus, the brain doesn't care.... Did you know that one? Even if your laughter is false, or you try to bring yourself up by saying happy things to yourself, even if you are not feeling it or not believing it, the brain will respond anyway. TRick the brain! The happy parts on your brain will be activated, and your brain releases endorphins anyway, even if you are faking your laughter. It can even be something totally stupid, it doesn't matter to the brain. It will get more and more real in no time. So you CAN be happier right now. Snowball efffect! You just have to start little by little... The hardest part is always starting! But you'll gain motivation as soon as you do.... It's a cycle, it aqquires momentum with every other tought. The third toughts has the momentum of the first and the second and so on... So step back, relax a little bit, and give it a go! It can't make you any worse, that's for sure. :lol: You'll like yourself more when you at least TRY to feel better. Your brain will respond, and a part of it will be you really feeling good for yourself by trying. You can just say to yourself: And I have amazing eyes! But it's the emotion that matters... You can say it normally, but REALLY PROUDLY say it. Find always reasons to be happy, even if it's just durning 5 or 10 minutes.... Other people don't know how good CAN they feel, so that's why they feel bad\normal usually. But good news you're starting to wake up... It will be worth it, you don't even know the result.... So try try it! It improves your health, and happy people are crazy magnetic. The hardest thing is starting, but now that you've read this post, you have already started starting.... Just by thinking on the outcome, how good will you feel if you try to bring yourself up, (Which you can't see it yet!) give it a shot! Go on, see if you can do it, which you can, so see how good can you do it! :mrgreen: There goes my attempt... Hope this posts helps you, I sure liked posting it lol :2thumbs:
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
I don't say this as a rebuke or criticism but rather for clarification.
People who have never experienced a major depressive episode often say things like what you've just said, oscartheman: Why don't you get out in the sun? Why don't you call up some friends? Why don't you just push yourself to be more positive? Their motives are well-intentioned but totally misguided. If the depressed individual could just be more positive, or go outside in the sun and cheer up, or call up some friends, s/he would do so. But the reality of major depression is that it's a good day if you can just get up and brush your teeth.
People who have never experienced a major depressive episode often say things like what you've just said, oscartheman: Why don't you get out in the sun? Why don't you call up some friends? Why don't you just push yourself to be more positive? Their motives are well-intentioned but totally misguided. If the depressed individual could just be more positive, or go outside in the sun and cheer up, or call up some friends, s/he would do so. But the reality of major depression is that it's a good day if you can just get up and brush your teeth.
Always Changing
MVP
A psychologist once said to me that depression is a choice.. guess what? I never went back to him again.
for me depression is not a choice, it happens, how I deal with it depends on the severity of it at the time. asking me to Try to be happy is like saying I choose to be depressed.
I know the above post was not written to me or for me, but as this is an open board I am choosing to reply and say I do not think the above post is going to help a lot of people in fact I go so far as to say that It may in fact make some people feel worse. It did me.
I do actually try to Act "normal", smiling etc when other people are around me, but that is only a mask I wear, I try to be happy for other people. It does nothing for me only serve to stop people being worried about me.
Maybe it could work for a small few people I do not know.
Maybe I am in the wrong space to be replying to this. delete if necessary.
for me depression is not a choice, it happens, how I deal with it depends on the severity of it at the time. asking me to Try to be happy is like saying I choose to be depressed.
I know the above post was not written to me or for me, but as this is an open board I am choosing to reply and say I do not think the above post is going to help a lot of people in fact I go so far as to say that It may in fact make some people feel worse. It did me.
I do actually try to Act "normal", smiling etc when other people are around me, but that is only a mask I wear, I try to be happy for other people. It does nothing for me only serve to stop people being worried about me.
Maybe it could work for a small few people I do not know.
Maybe I am in the wrong space to be replying to this. delete if necessary.
white page
Member
Hi Oscartheman,
I understand that your intention in your post came from a good place, and it is appreciated that you would like other members to feel as happy as you do. Thank you.
As Dr Baxter says clinical depression is not a matter of will. If it was I would be the first person to will myself out of depression, and as Always Changing says, there are even certain rare professionals who are misguided by the belief that we choose depression, this is as misguided as saying that we choose the colour of our eyes.
Depression is still very much misunderstood, it can come upon us when things are seemingly
going well for us. It is very much like the title of this thread.
best wishes wp
I understand that your intention in your post came from a good place, and it is appreciated that you would like other members to feel as happy as you do. Thank you.
As Dr Baxter says clinical depression is not a matter of will. If it was I would be the first person to will myself out of depression, and as Always Changing says, there are even certain rare professionals who are misguided by the belief that we choose depression, this is as misguided as saying that we choose the colour of our eyes.
Depression is still very much misunderstood, it can come upon us when things are seemingly
going well for us. It is very much like the title of this thread.
best wishes wp
Chain Lightning
Member
Yeah no offence, its definitely not a choice...that would be like telling somebody who was on ecstasy to not feel high.
I have an important meeting with my lawyer in about a week...I'm trying to decide what would be less stressful, canceling that meeting or calling and begging for a sooner appointment.
I have an important meeting with my lawyer in about a week...I'm trying to decide what would be less stressful, canceling that meeting or calling and begging for a sooner appointment.
white page
Member
It may be more comfortable to advance the appointment. Less days to stress out in
Chain Lightning
Member
Oh and I meant to also say...
When I'm not depressed I forget what being depressed is like. I have been guilty of saying similar things to other people, like choose to do something fun and you'll be happy. I remember a couple of years ago I was freaking out crying because I had told my friend I'd go to NY with her but got depressed and can't. She asked me if I have always had a problem with depression. At the time I felt insulted and said "no, I'm not always depressed, I'm usually happy." If it keeps happening to me, something isn't right...I always blamed the circumstances of my life on my mood but I think its my mood influencing my thinking more than anything. I found this out by reading my entire journal.
When I'm not depressed I forget what being depressed is like. I have been guilty of saying similar things to other people, like choose to do something fun and you'll be happy. I remember a couple of years ago I was freaking out crying because I had told my friend I'd go to NY with her but got depressed and can't. She asked me if I have always had a problem with depression. At the time I felt insulted and said "no, I'm not always depressed, I'm usually happy." If it keeps happening to me, something isn't right...I always blamed the circumstances of my life on my mood but I think its my mood influencing my thinking more than anything. I found this out by reading my entire journal.
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