Want to disappear

[Cat Dancer]

We talked about this in therapy yesterday. I want to be so thin that I disappear so that I can never be hurt in any way again. I am not sure how to change this mindset because I'm tired of being in pain, but life is painful for ALL of us so there will be pain. I don't know how to deal with this.

 

[GDPR]

Did your therapist have any helpful suggestions?

 

[Cat Dancer]

Well, we talked about me hating myself and punishing myself and he says I have to change the way I think about myself and then I'll treat myself better. So far I haven't been able to do this though.

 

[GDPR]

He said you have to change the way you think,but is he helping you with it at all?

 

[Cat Dancer]

He has tried, but I am beyond help. I just want to quit it all.

 

[forgetmenot]

You are not beyond help and he will not quit on helping you hun so you don't quit either ok
we don't see our subtle changes hun but we are changing our thoughts you hun have come along way hugs

 

[Cat Dancer]

I don't know how to end this.

 

[forgetmenot]

CD you keep going to your therapist y ou keep fighting ok hugs

 

[Ashley-Kate]

I understand you completly and unfortunatly my understanding you is probably not at all comforting, I know from experience. It's hard to imagine someone wanting to simply vanish not realy die but not be physically present as a way to protect oneself. I can tell you that eventually it will get better with therapy with support with love and with friends and familly helping you understand and see that you are worthy of life and that yes it hurts sometimes but being strong enough to surmount the pain it brings also brings joy and strength. I know it sounds clich? and i am reading it and thinking well "what a clich?" I am not there yet i don't know if i believe in that possibility either but what i do know is that i was there once and it is a great place to be and that if we once were happy and if other people in the world can live in it and be happy than with a lot of work we can too.., working this difficulty with your therapist can help a lot trying to find out what hurt you so deaply you want to erase yourself for your own perfection is also good.. believe in yourself . -xxx-

 

[adaptive1]

I wanted to be thin so much for such a long time too. Would it help to change the thought to I want to be healthy and strong so that I can take care of myself. This change in perspective has helped me to take the focus off my weight and the disappointment with it and put focus on appreciating my body as a gift with all it can do. It takes a long time to shift this focus.