Weary

[Cat Dancer]

I am so tired of this I could scream, but I'd only be screaming at myself and what good would that do?

This morning I blacked out and found myself on the floor feeling all woozy. I am afraid. I know I need to work on this issue, but I don't know how. I am determined to be a certain weight, but I know that weight won't be good enough. I know no weight will be low enough. I don't know where this obsession comes from, but I wonder if I could fix it if I could get to the root of it. I know there's something about control and being out of control. I also feel that I don't deserve to eat. I even have an obsessive thought that if I do eat I'm taking food away from my child which I can see is an odd thought.

I don't know where to start. I am wondering if I'm heading for a short hospitalization again. That would almost be a relief in a way. I don't take very good care of myself alone.

 

[Into The Light]

janet, have you spoken to either your doctor or your therapist about your anorexia?

 

[Cat Dancer]

Not much. We're just starting to deal with it as it seems to be getting worse.

 

[Into The Light]

okay. i am glad you are starting to deal with it. having passed out this morning is not a good thing, and you definitely need some help with this from your therapist. i think it might be a good idea from a medical perspective to also speak with your doctor about having passed out. i do not know how low your weight is but if you are passing out your body is in need of nutrients.

 

[Cat Dancer]

It was definitely a wake up call. I don't think I'm in denial anymore. I need help with this. I just hate that I allowed this to happen.

 

[coffeegirl]

Janet:

How scary that must have been. I too, have blacked out before due to an eating disorder. It is a very frightening thing to have happen.

Talking with a therapist and contacting a nutritionist is important in recovery.

Hang in there Janet. Your child needs a healthy mommy. You need to be healthy for you as well. ((HUGS))

Julie

 

[Halo]

Janet, I really agree with everyone else and think that you should talk to your doctor and continue to talk to your therapist about this. Blacking out is a serious issue and as Coffeegirl said, your child (Abby) needs a healthy mom.

Take care :heart:
:hug: :hug:

 

[labyssum]

I hope you're ok. *HUGS*