"What About Bob?" (movie)

[Marcel]

"A successful psychiatrist loses his mind after one of his most dependent patients, a highly manipulative obsessive-compulsive, tracks him down during his family vacation."

Like "Bob", does anyone have problems obsessing about their therapist?

 

[Daniel E.]

Like "Bob", does anyone have problems obsessing about their therapist?

Can you give an example in your own case since, as stated above, Bob in the movie was also manipulative, not just obsessive. Is it the therapist per se (like you wonder what his/her personal life is like, etc.) or the process of therapy itself (like thinking about what to say at the next session)?

 

[Marcel]

Both actually...but no, like you mentioned, I was not referring to the manipulative part - just the obsessive part. Like always wondering about the therapist personally (for me though, in the context of wondering everything about them so I can then tie it back to a conclusion of 'because of those things about them/their life, they therefore cannot (or maybe can) be trusted'. And about therapy, replaying out past sessions, trying to visualize future sessions (real scenarios), trying to figure out what I subconsciously wish sessions would be like (even if it is not reality based, just to try to figure out what I want because I don't even know).

It happens every time I am in therapy, doesn't matter what therapist. It just becomes all I think about. And knowing this, makes me not want to start therapy, or when in it, to end it. Because I feel like such a ..pardon the term...but "freak" - an "obsessed freaky stalker". I am happy to say that I keep myself more under control than "Bob" though I would love to wait outside their office and follow them to see where they go/where they live but I would never ever do it. I would be afraid to. I will however search the internet for hours to see if I can find out anything about them personally. And of course I will read and read and read and read and read about therapy on the internet. It consumes so much time. Time when I have other things I need to be doing.

I read on sites that yes, there are in fact people that have as much trouble in the sessions as I do (re talking, opening up, disclosing things, looking at the therpaist etc.) so I can see that as being "normal" so to speak. But the obsessing about the therapist (in a completely NON-romantic way I might add, just to clarify) seems to be something more abnormal that no one else deals with. Thanks for asking Daniel.

 

[Daniel E.]

In addition to talking to your therapist about this (which would be ideal), I think this is also good advice, generally speaking (not just for people experiencing obsessive thinking):

Examine your life and look at any non-OCD problems you’re experiencing that may be responsible for some of your unhappiness above and beyond your obsessions.

http://www.ocfoundation.org/UserFiles/File/Obsessing%20about%20obsessing.pdf

But it's definitely something to bring up in therapy, and you may find some relevant info on other client's experiences by searching this forum for "transference":

The first thing to understand is that this is not anything you should be ashamed or afraid of...

Second, talk to your therapist. Okay, I know this is the hardest step, but it is also the most important. Your therapist should be experienced and trained in transference issues (yes, even the modern cognitive-behavioral therapists), and be able to talk to you about them in an open and accepting manner. As with most issues in therapy, bringing it out into the open and talking about it usually is sufficient to help most people in dealing with their feelings. Your therapist should also talk to you about ways you can better understand them in the context of your therapeutic relationship, family history and background, and what kinds of things you might be able to do to help and reduce their intensity.

Transference: I Think I’m in Love with My Therapist - Psychlinks

I realize the article above is about romantic feelings, but the point is the same regarding transference, which occurs in all therapeutic relationships.

Similarly:
Yahoo! Answers - Transferance/ obsession about Therapist?

 

[Into The Light]

the point is the same regarding transference, which occurs in all therapeutic relationships.

does it? or is it in most therapeutic relationships rather than all?

 

[Daniel E.]

I have a very liberal/broad definition of transference

http://www.thepsychologist.org.uk/archive/archive_home.cfm/volumeID_13-editionID_51-ArticleID_156-getfile_getPDF/thepsychologist%5Cfreud2.pdf

 

[Marcel]

Thanks for the links Daniel - they are very interesting - I have read about therapist obssessions and transference on the web and will continue my readings. I posted this topic because I wondered if there were any actual people on the forum that experienced the same problem.

 

[Into The Light]

i've been curious about my therapist and the person that she is, and i think it's natural to be interested. after all therapists are people who seems to understand us, and are capable of helping us work through our problems and feel better. they become pretty important people to us, and for us to hardly know anything about them does make you wonder and try to fill in the blanks. i do find i hang on to little bits of information i pick up on here and there over time.

i think in your case because you have ocd tendencies this interest may be intensified and quite consuming. it just happens to be what you are focusing on, and because you have ocd that makes it all the more something you feel you can't shake.

have you spoken to your therapist about that at all or are you just trying to find others who can relate? i don't think you are alone with this, maybe it's not just much talked about.