What do you do when you "fade out" in therapy

[texasgirl]

I just started seeing a therapist recently (in the past 2 months). When I am talking to him about some things that have happened in my life, especially painful things, I find myself gradually unable to speak anymore and just kind of fading out or floating away (dissociating is what I am told). It feels like he is very far away and, try as I might to talk, I am miles apart and dead silent. Eventually, I sort of "come back" but then when I leave his office, I find myself getting lost and ending up sometimes blocks away or more from the train station. I am really scared at that point and usually shaking. I end up going home ok but really feel "out of it" for at least 2 days afterwards...

I don't see how therapy can work if I can't get the words out - it's like having a force shut you down (or more realistically shut you up!). Has anyone else gone through this or do you have any thoughts about how to stop this? I feel kind of like I am wasting the therapist's time if I am not able to address the issues while I am there.

 

[ThatLady]

You're certainly not wasting the therapist's time, texasgirl. Have you talked to the therapist about this particular problem at all? Is he aware that you're having these episodes after leaving his office?

 

[texasgirl]

He notices that I am not talking for long periods (obviously!) and he just waits until I come around or the session is over. I am going to tell him today about the episodes after leaving, since his office is not in the greatest part of the city and I am concerned about being safe when I leave. The most frustrating thing is that you can't say what you want to say -it's almost like being programmed to shut down.

 

[ThatLady]

Definitely put these matters first on your agenda of things to talk to him about today, texasgirl. These are things he needs to know.

 

[texasgirl]

I will. Thanks much for responding so quickly!

 

[ThatLady]

You're welcome! Good luck with your appointment, and I do hope you and your therapist are able to work something out that will be beneficial to you.

 

[braveheart]

Hi. It happens to me a lot in therapy too. But I've been with my therapist 4 years and counting, so we track them together...sometimes she asks me where I am, what I'm thinking, how it feels in my body, and generally helps me through.....
I find I phase out when talking about certain aspects of my past, feelings in connection with them, even when on the phone with friends, or when talking with my befriender. I usually ask the person to remind me what I was talking about, and that helps me to get back on track, taking it more slowly and understanding where I am compassionately.

 

[texasgirl]

Hi Braveheart - thanks very much for the insight. When I saw my therapist yesterday, I did tell him what was going on and he offered to work with me on specific techniques for dealing with this going forward. Makes me less anxious about the situation, particularly when I leave his office. It also helps to hear from someone else who experiences the same thing!

 

[Halo]

TG

I am glad to hear that you told your therapist what was happening and that you are going to work on it together and find some techniques that are going to work for you. You are very courageous for speaking up about it.

Good Job :goodjob:

 

[Cat Dancer]

That's really good, Texasgirl. I'm so glad you were able to do that.

Also, this happens to me too:

I find myself gradually unable to speak anymore and just kind of fading out or floating away (dissociating is what I am told). It feels like he is very far away and, try as I might to talk, I am miles apart and dead silent.

 

[texasgirl]

Thanks for the encouragement, yall. Janet, do you ever end up places and not know how you got there? I'm not talking about ending up in Paris or L.A. or something, just locally....

 

[Cat Dancer]

Not really. That's only happened maybe twice and it was more like I was really upset and "running away" and don't remember doing it, but I ended up outside, in the woods or way down the driveway. Once when I was little and once was a few years ago.

That sounds a little frightening. Did you tell that to your therapist?

 

[Halo]

TG

I can relate to fading out in therapy as well as sometimes I get this glazed over look on my face and I just nod my head. I know then that I am starting to faze out and have to try to remind myself to come back to the topic. Sometimes my therapist will notice other times not. I am pretty new with him so we are still trying to figure things out.

As for ending up places and having no clue how you got there.....I do that with driving sometimes. I find if my mind is very distracted on other things especially if it is after a therapy session I will drive home but yet not really remember the drive at all. It is like my body goes into auto-pilot and I just end up in my driveway. I don't know if this is the same sort of thing that you are talking about but I can somewhat relate to the scary feeling.

 

[braveheart]

good for you for telling your therapist. now you can work together on it.

 

[texasgirl]

Hi everyone:

I didn't tell my therapist yet about the fact that I end up places not knowing how I got there, but it is sort of like what yall are describing except that I didn't recall anything about the process of getting wherever I ended up. I will tell him. It's especially scary since you wonder what you were doing during the time you don't recall.

 

[Halo]

TG

I definitely think that this is something that you should bring up with him next time to have your appt. There might be something that is triggering you and that is why you don't remember. Just a guess on my part but definitely worth investigating.

Good luck and let us know how it turns out.

 

[texasgirl]

definitely will keep yall posted. I think your idea about the triggering thing is right, even though it's not any single thing that seems to do it. I will share this with my doctor though. thanks Nancy!

 

[Halo]

No problem......anytime.