What is it?

[Ashley-Kate]

hello well i am writing this to try and help a friend of mine i am going to try and explain at best what he has told me through my questioning:

• he feels that everyone is against him everyone thinks bad of him when he sees them he is convinced that they are thinking how bad he is that they hate him etc..
• he doesn't think he hears voices but he hears his own that convinces him that everyone is against him that they want what's worst for him
• he takes drugs marijuana and stuff to try to reduce these thoughts and feelings
• he hates life ever since he has been young he feels that life is pointless that nothing is good that he doesn't have his place in this world
• he enjoys seeing people cry or being sad it makes him happy cause he feels that they are against him so they deserve pain
• he is depressed
• he tells me he is not suicidal he just wants to leave and never come back move away and start over
• he doesn't know why he feels this way
• he isolates himself cause he hates being around people

i want to help him but i just don't know what to say

he doesn't want to consult but i am afraid that if he doesn't he is a danger to himself and maybe others

yours truly ashley
i just don't know what to do

 

[Mari]

Re: what is it?

Dear Ashley-Kate, I do not know the answer to your question although your friend does sound suicidal by your description and certainly the use of drugs could lead to accidental death. I have asked many professionals over the past year about such a situation and so far have not received a satisfactory answer. If you are not in any danger from this person then my best suggestion would be to ask him if there is anything you can do to help. :heart: Mari

 

[Ashley-Kate]

Re: what is it?

that is exactly what i did do i spoke to him i asked many times if he was suicidal and he told me that he wasn't cause he enjoys being sad and unhappy cause it's how he is when he is happy he tries to find a way to be unhappy. he enjoys seeing pain and that i just don't understand ! he knows it is wrong but at the same time doesn't want to get help from professionals cause he hates being with people talking and being helped cause he feels that everyone is against him !

i told him that if he ever needed any thing i would be there for him to help him but i think that i all i can do

yours truly ashley

 

[David Baxter PhD]

That is all you can do, Ashley. If he doesn't want help, you can't make him get help. And if he's immersing himself in drugs, things are definitely going to get worse for him. That may be a good thing if he gets to the point where even he can see that he needs help.

But in the meantime, you might want to try to put a little distance between you. Don't let his problems become yours and don't let him take you down with him. You are working on your own issues. You are still vulnerable.

 

[Ashley-Kate]

it's just so much easier helping others ! i just feel sad because he should have to suffer he shouldn't have to deel with this! it's not fare he is only 17 and he seemed to be fine no one really knows that he is not doing good and for once he confided in somebody and well i feel that i can't just abandon him
ashley

 

[David Baxter PhD]

It is sad. But you can't help someone who doesn't want help. There's just no way around that fact.

 

[HA]

Hi Ashley-Kate,

As Dr. Baxter say's, when you are more vulnerable then trying to help others too much can interfer with your own healing.

The best you can do is to tell him that you feel he could really benefit from talking to somebody about how he feels stressed, down or depressed. Give him the phone numbers of a counselling agency and send him this website.

Mind Your Mind

By giving him contact information where he can get help you will know that you have done everything you can. The rest is up to him.

:grouphug: