What on Earth is going on?

[Demonizer]

For the last three months, I've been noticing a disturbing phenomenon that's been growing worse every day: my thoughts, previously expressed in my own voice, have begun carrying the voice of a child, frequently high-pitched and elaborated with great difficulty; random concepts have begun floating through my mind, once again bearing children's voices, although I do realize these thoughts belong to me, and are strictly a psychological phenomenon. A few times, on these occasions, I think of myself in the second person singular or first person plural, which is disturbing to say the least. Sometimes these random concepts are actually related to what I would normally think, yet are distorted beyond reason; for instance, my mind might repeat an obscene curse three or four times when I only intend to think of a man as a fool or an oaf. Apparently, background noise such as the tap running or cars speeding by triggers such "random thoughts", sometimes as though they emerged from the source of the noise itself, which terrifies me. Similarly, uncomfortable situations can lead to my thoughts' tonality being distorted. I've even ended up literally hearing my own thoughts a few times. Things have been pretty stressful lately, and a number of disasters have struck in the prior months, which could be a factor adding to my apparent drift to the edge of madness... Things have been getting worse instead of fading off with time, and right now, I find it almost impossible to think in my own voice. Interestingly, shifting my tongue in such a way that I mimick speech allows my normal voice to return to my thoughts.

I'm not quite sure why this is, but my mother's schizophrenic, and I worry that I might inherit her genes. Could this be the onset of schizophrenia? I'm terrified of the possibility. Bear in mind, I haven't experienced any delusions or such, but I'm not completely sure I'll never do so in the future.

 

[Rosa]

Hi,
There are people here that can give alot better advise than I can cause they have more experience and knowledge. but I did want to acknowledge your post. I'm thinking you might want to talk to a therapist wheither that be a Psychotrist (sp?) or a Psycholotrist (sp?again) and anyone in the mental health field. The one thing I'm learning, and its become very important to me, is that mental illness (I'm not saying you have it, again I have no way to knowing that) but mental illness is like any other illness. Those of us with these conditions deserve just the same help as somone who has say diabetes and its not our fault. Any while it is scary as can be, it is manageable. Theres medication and therapys that can help. This forum alone has tons of information just for us.
Rosa

 

[ThatLady]

I'm not sure how much this problem is affecting your ability to function but I sure wouldn't want to have to deal with it! It sounds like an awful feeling!

If I were you, I'd get myself to a professional for evaluation as soon as possible. You really need to find out what is going on and what can be done to alleviate these symptoms before the problem gets any worse, hon.